younger brother died of a drug overdose.
Posted 10 March 2009 - 08:18 AM
Posted 06 March 2009 - 05:46 AM
My younger brother died Dec 30th of a drug overdose. He was 33. My brother struggled with drugs and alcohol for many years despite being raised in a tight-knit loving family. My parents, sister and I mentally prepared ourselves for that day for years... however, when it hit, it hit us like a brick wall. John was an amazing artist. He loved nature and playing with his nephews and niece. He was nice to everyone and had a huge heart. He just battled demons that most of us do not understand. I think I was in shock for most of January, but now it is hitting me hard. I am not sad where he is... I know he hated living with addiction... but the thought of never hearing his voice again, never seeing his smile, never talking to him again... my heart breaks... and the grief is so overwhelming I can't breathe. I posted my story on another site. Nobody commented on it. It made me feel like my loss was less severe because my brother died from drugs. It hurts because I watched my brother battle to take control of his addiction for years... and in the end I don't think there was any more peace left for him on earth. Before he died, I wasn't a religious person and questioned the existence of god... but I can feel his energy around me and know he is in a better place. I am trying to take it one day at a time.
when we lose a loved one, it doesn't matter how they died, the fact is they are not with us anymore and the pain is unbearable. Your poor brother, as you so rightly said, battled his demons - no-one knew what those demons were like on a daily basis.
I remember when my son died, my daughter was distraught. He battled cancer, that was his demons - it robbed him of his life. My daughter is only just recovering from her grief. She had a breakdown 5 years ago as life got too much for her and she had two beautiful children and a lovely husband. Thankfully she is better now, but I remember the sadness of watching her go down hill - depression was her demon.
Take things easy, because grief is a long journey and there will be difficult days to face.
Your brother is resting in his new home, recovering from his ordeal. He will always be around you and with him, there is no more pain or sadness, he is free from his demons.
You need to take each day at a time - the missing never goes, but the grief becomes softer as time passes. One day you will see him again, of that you can be sure.
Posted 15 February 2009 - 09:11 AM
Posted 11 February 2009 - 12:28 PM
Posted 27 January 2009 - 08:20 AM
Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:00 AM
Posted 05 January 2009 - 10:46 AM
Posted 14 August 2008 - 11:50 PM
These young people are no less loved, no less wanted and their passing no less painful. annabanna you seem to have come such a long way on your journey. It is hard to envisage your brother/sister is in a better place when you are struggling with them being gone.
I believe, as harsh as it might sound, that they are now free from the addiction that in many ways cruelly stole their lives a day at a time.
Come here often and please do not hide your story or your grief because of what others might think. Share the good times, the hard times and know you aren't alone. Truly, there but for the grace of god goes anyone of us at any time.........Take Care
Posted 13 August 2008 - 01:14 PM
Know that you don't have to be dreaming to talk to him. I talk to my deceased little brother (actually cousin who was a brother to me) many times during the day. I'm sure he hears me, and sees me. And sometimes I see little things that make be believe he is talking to me too.
Posted 12 August 2008 - 07:10 AM
I know two of the people that were involved in his death. I have so much anger inside and do not know how to deal with them. I just hope that I never see them out on the street, because.... well just because.
I was 17 when he was born, and my mother had to be on complete bed rest after he was born, so I was the one who took care of him, he was my baby!!! Him and I had a very close bond. He was only 29 when his life was taken, I miss him so. He was the only one of my 7 younger brothers that called me on my birthday, and I sure did miss that call this year.
There is not one day that goes by that I don't cry because I miss him so much. He was like the "Peace Maker" in our family. My two boys were very close to him as they grew up together, they were more like brothers.
I know that I will never get over my little brothers death, it was not suppose to be that way. We had plans, we were going to paint my mothers bathroom, he was going back to school, and we were going to open a business together.
I dream about him almost every night. I talk to him in my dreams and its like he is still here. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare, and things would be back like they should be.
It is crying time again, so I guess I will go for now. Thanks for listening. Scooter418
Posted 23 July 2008 - 01:11 PM
Well, Christopher, we've all had a year to process your departure and what it means. A year to accept that you're really gone. Twelve months to convince ouselves that you are in 'a better place'. Three hundred and sixty-five sunrises knowing you won't be here to share another day, to be a son and uncle and brother, nephew and friend. Just as many sunsets reflecting on how much we all miss you and wishing for just ONE MORE DAY. In everything we do, you are there.
Please Chris, send your broken family some love and some positivity. We all grieve deeply, but in our own individual ways. The thing that I miss most is the laughter. The gravitation toward comedy, even when things looked bleak. We always shared sarcasm and black humor. You always made me laugh at myself when I needed to. I want to hear you burst out laughing SO BADLY. Mostly, I want this past year to be a nightmare I awaken from to find out that everything's ok.
One year ago, almost to the HOUR, I got the phone call that changed all of our lives forever. Since then, we've all been to hell and are fighting to make our way back to a life significantly diminished without you. I can honestly say that I am not afraid of death anymore, because it's the means by which we'll reunite. Nightly, I look up at the stars and feel you there, so vast and free, so mysterious and calm. I want to believe that you are happy now. Are you?
I want to tell you that despite the tears that flow endlessly, if you are happy and 'at home' now, then I'll be happy for you. I'll NEVER stop loving or missing you. It's very important to me that YOU know, along with everyone else, that your LIFE WAS SO MUCH LARGER, SO MUCH MORE than your death or the circumstances surrounding it. Your legacy will NEVER be overshadowed by your sudden departure. I know who you were/are - you are loyal beyond measure, you are FIERCE. You are a friend. You are the champion of the underdog, the defender of the defenseless. You are charming and clever and witty. You love the innocence of little children. You hate injustice. You become blinded to a person's faults when you love them. You'd have done ANYTHING for me or my kids, regardless of consequence. You are a sensitive, considerate, beautiful being that this world needs MORE of. Every time I think of you, I remember the crazy little guy pushing all of dad's buttons, and then of the handsome nurse that loved his babies with exceptional depth. Oh, how I miss you SO.
See you at the cemetary today. Help me put this day behind me and move on in your name. I want you to be proud of me. Until we meet and laugh again, I miss you every minute of every day. We all do.
LOVE and XOXO steff
Posted 25 June 2008 - 08:30 AM
Posted 15 June 2008 - 04:45 PM
if anyone has gone through something like this please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and ill go into more detail. but it's been over a year now and im still struggling and i still cry and can't look at pictures of him. i've been in therapy since he died and it isn't working. i could just use someone to talk to who has been through this who can offer me either advice or support. i'm also not a religious person. my brother wasn't either. so i'd appreciate advice that didn't involve telling me 'he's with god and in a better place' because that just doesn't help me. i need some real advice. please help me.
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