lost both of my parents within 2 years

[amr]

hi .. i am 22 years old 
i lost my mother when i was 18 and my dad when i was 20

i know it has been a long time since then but i cant really handle losing them till now .. they both died because of cancer and they suffered a lot in their last days .. i wasn't really there for my mother as my dad took the responsibility so when she passed away i didn't really believe it .. i was waking up every morning and still thinking that she is in the hospital and will come back home after few days but i never happened .. one year later my father got cancer too .. i took care of him as much as i could and i was expecting he would die too and he did ... since then i really don't care about anything .. i lost interest in everything i loved .. i didn't enjoy anything since that day .. now i don't really care about the people in my life .. i just wake up , sit on my room the whole day and then sleep again .. i don't go to my college unless i have an exam and i usually fail .. i don't talk with my friends even when they try to call me .. nothing really has a meaning for me now ... what's worth that i am from egypt and here i can't really go to a therapist or talk about this with anyone .. i thought if i shared this with someone maybe i'll get help so here i am ... sorry for the long topic     

[cindyjane]

Hugs amr ... I am so sorry for your losses.  Losing both parents in such a short time leaves a person feeling so numb.  It's like you lose a huge part of yourself.  I lost both of my parents in an 11 month period.  I hadn't gotten through the grieving in losing my mom...then 11 months later my dad left us as well.  I know that he was happy to go because he missed my mom so much.

It may seem hard to believe right now but time really is a healer.  You will always miss your parents amr, but as time goes on the sadness and heavy heart will lift.  The thing that helped me a lot with my initial grieving was to think about what my parents would want for me.  I know that they always wanted the absolute best for me.  I also know that they wouldn't want me to stop living life.  It would break their hearts to know that I was in a deep depression and not getting out of it.  So in thinking about this I decided that the best way I could honour both of them was to live my life and be the best person that I could be.  My personal goal because to be just like them ... loving and kind to others, hard working, and to focus on the good things in life.  This really helped me to deal with the waves of sadness that hits now and then.  

Please take care and know that one day when the good Lord takes us home ... we WILL be reunited with our parents.  

Cindy Jane