Loss of father

[hawkeyesc72]

My dad passed in Aug 2016 from Stage 4 melanoma. He had been aggressively battling the disease for a little over a year (radiation, chemotherapy, drug trial, etc) but nothing worked. It's been 10 weeks and I am still struggling now like I was when he passed. My only consolations are that he passed peacefully in no pain and I was able to be there and sit next to him and be with him when it happened. I am military stationed in Poland and it took a great amount of effort by my chain of command to get me on a plane to be there. Thankfully I was able to get there and spend a week with him before he died.

10 weeks later and I'm still trying to adjust. His birthday was this past Thursday. Fortunately I was able to keep it together at work Thurs and Fri. Saturday I couldn't hold it any longer and everything came out. I am glad I have a 4 day weekend this weekend and don't have to be back at work until Wed so I have a few days to recover. My wife went on a girls weekend trip so I've been going through this alone.

Well not completely alone. Our dog Molly is here. She's been my outlet. A few times during the weekend she's sat on my lap and looked at me while I talked about my dad and how much I miss him and basically everything else I've bottled up and needed to get off my chest for a long time. Then she would curl up next to me and lay her head on my lap and look at me as if to say "It's okay Dad I am here." She gave me reason to smile a few times when I desperately needed it. Seems like whenever I need to talk to someone, no one is around except the pets. I owned a cat for 15 years and he used to do the same thing. He'd curl up and let me talk/vent/cry/get angry, anything I felt like I needed to do to feel better. And it helped. With both animals.

Unfortunately the holidays are right around the corner. I feel like by the time I get over this period it will start over again during the holiday season and will probably be worse because it's the holidays.

I know they say time heals all wounds. If that's true I'm not there yet. I hope I get there soon. I'm tired of feeling sad and alone. I know I'm not the only person who's gone through something like this so if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do during this adjustment I would be grateful to hear what helped others get through their individual situations.

[ModKonnie]

I am so sorry about the loss of your father. You get through this by doing exactly as you are doing. Just keep crying, talking and sharing with others about how you are feeling, and talk, talk, talk about your dad. 

For the holidays, many people break from their traditional routines and do something different during the first holiday they have to manage through. Some people travel, some people volunteer, and some people choose to spend time by themselves reflecting. 

We will be with you,

ModKonnie