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My dad passed 11-30-17


Bren1212

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My mother and i have never been close. She "tries" fo belittle me- told me at the age of 50 i was a mistake- she married my dad at the age of 16. Etc!

Last year was horriable as my dad passed 11-30. On my dads dying bed as i sat-next to him he told me i wouldnot love him as much of i knew him. WHAT?? She wont tell me. She is evil. She got mad at me as i wasnt planning them a 50th Anv party! I had a daughter graduating hs-Taking her to Texas and more. Mom didnt talk to mefor  over 6 months..My dad told her he knew she would meet another man but no she said.. When my dad wanted me to stay the nite with him she said NO!! He asked why, she said i didnt need an answer. Well That is all she has done is meet men over the past 5 months. I want her happy but obviously that 50th anv wasnt that important! i want her happy but one minute she is crying over my dad then the  next talking about a man.. I want nothing to do with her... Im an only child of theirs and nothing has prepared me for this!! 

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Sorry about your loss Bren1212....also sorry that you are going through this with your mom.  All I can say is that in coming here for the past 3 years, I see that everyone grieves differently.  Some people just can't handle it and create drama and chaos in their lives to not have to face things.  Also, some people (like your mom is doing) quickly get into relationships and sometimes that keeps them from having to face some things.  Not making excuses for people but grief is very different for each person.  If anything, I have compassion for people who have a difficult time facing a loss.  The main thing is that you look after yourself and hope that one day your mom is in a better place within herself.

take care

Cindy Jane

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Cindy, 

What you have said makes perfect sense. Ive tried to reason with her. Someday she will need assistant living, nursing home etc. The reason I mention this. Last year she went through $60,000 on her 2 rentals (which didnt need anything)  She just changed things out. Plus items on her home which were not done right! She got screwed.. When I mentioned to her about the saying of money she said " it was rude of me to tell her about a nursing home". " what if my kids told me that"?? I told her they know they dont have too take care of me  im prepared.. I accept life is changing. She says she has to keep busy.. She wont volunteer as "you dont get paid" WOW!!

I guess i just need to hear its ok for me to just let her go!! She can piss it all away and end up possibly with the state taking care of her.. Because after  i visit her,the next 2- days im sad. I have a supporting husband that helps me too.. My college kids make me proud but i tell them nothing of this. ( kids) Just seeing them makes me happy.. 

We watched my dad pass and before doing so he told Ron to take care of his girls.. Sucks 

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