losing my dad at 15

[mad005]

Hello, I'm quite new to this. I find this website nice because some others understand my pain I am experiencing. I don't want anyone to think I'm here for you to feel sorry for me, I am just here to express my feelings. I am 15 years old and I recently lost my dad (June 4th 2016). I loved him so very much and he loved me more than anything. I don't think I've loved anyone as much as him. It was very unexpected. He was 41 and healthy as ever. One night he went to someone's house to visit and on the way there, he was killed. A truck ran head-on to him, by accident of course, while he was on a dirt bike. No one got in trouble, and everyone is okay (besides my dad), it was just an accident. I didn't get to say anything to him or even see him. He was gone. it's been 6 weeks and I have panic attacks when I think about him and how tragically he went. I had dreamt of him, where he hugged me and I told him how much I've been missing him but he didn't say anything. I am slowly forgetting him and I'm scared. I don't want to forget him. i don't know how to describe exactly how I'm feeling but I'm lost and anxious all the time. If anyone has went through something similar, please share because it's helpful to me to know I'm not alone. 

[Lauryn]

Hi, 

I also hope I will not forget my dad. I have one very short voicemail that I listen to so I don't forget his voice. I am also visiting his side of the family for 2 weeks so I can surround myself with people who remind me of my favorite person. My dad passed in May but I still have bad dreams that replicate the hospital right before he passed. I wish I never saw what I did because I'm afraid it will haunt me forever. There was also a dream where I kept trying to hug him but he just looked down at me and wouldn't hug back. Very similar to yours :/