Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Not getting better


TiaKelly

Recommended Posts

  • Members

It's already been a month since my best friend, my love, my everything died. I still hear his laugh and see his smile every time I close my eyes..  Smh I can't stop the tears.  He passed away ten minutes after our last phone conversation by accidental misfire...  I think to this day I blame myself for not keeping him on the phone.! We knew each other via social media for years,  but finally met through friends in April.  From the day we met we've never been apart.  I was just visiting town,  met him and my whole life changed! He was everything.  Fun,  kind,  a wonderful father to two young boys,  we are the same sign,  we used to stay up late talking about religion and heaven and all that it could be...  Now the thought of him being there without me breaks my heart..  I just wanna know he's ok..  I Wana know what he wants from me..  I just wanna see him again.. 

edited_Screenshot_2016-07-03-00-02-38.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

I'm so sorry to hear what happened.  A month isn't long at all.  Are you talking to someone about this?

A lot of us blame ourselves, but in most cases, like yours, it is NOT your fault.  There is nothing you could have done and there was no way that you could have known what was going to happen.  There is no way that you could have prevented this.  Please look at these two quotes:    "We tend to beat ourselves up for what we didn't know when we didn't know it."

And:  "We do the best we can with our understanding at the time, and when we know better, we do better."

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html

Your only understanding at the time was that you were ending a normal phone call.

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
claribassist13

I can definitely relate to your loss TiaKelly. I lost my soulmate as well, and it's difficult to try to re-imagine our lives without them. Where do we go from here? Was that person our one shot at experiencing true love or finding a soulmate? 

I don't have any answers, but I would hold onto the beautiful memories you do have. Know that his death is not your fault. There is no way you could have prevented it. Sometimes, terrible things happen for no reason at all. 

Keep reaching out. We'll be here to help you out. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thank you so much for your responses.  The quotes are awesome and so very true.  I don't really have many people to talk about it to because everyone around me just wants me to let it go..  And you're absolutely on point with my worries.  I don't know if I could love like that again,  especially knowing it could be gone so quickly now.  Our connection was more spiritual than anything, so now I question my religion and beliefs and I've been ring to reach out to a medium to talk to him..  Some friends say it may be good for closure,  but my family thinks I may open a can of worms more or less. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

MadelineMQ suggested this book.  I am not a spiritual person, but I have just started to read it.  It looks like something you would benefit from.

"The Light Between Us: Stories from Heaven. Lessons for the Living"

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812987926/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
3 hours ago, TiaKelly said:

Thank you so much for your responses.  The quotes are awesome and so very true.  I don't really have many people to talk about it to because everyone around me just wants me to let it go..  And you're absolutely on point with my worries.  I don't know if I could love like that again,  especially knowing it could be gone so quickly now.  Our connection was more spiritual than anything, so now I question my religion and beliefs and I've been ring to reach out to a medium to talk to him..  Some friends say it may be good for closure,  but my family thinks I may open a can of worms more or less. 

TiaKelly,

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my love my best friend also. Please don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault please know that. The people who want you to "let it go" dont understand the journey that you are on. Take comfort that there are people who you can talk to anytime. You aren't alone. There are people here  that understand & we are all hear to listen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
velvettuberose

My condolences, Tia. 

I lost my husband 6 months ago due to a massive heart attack. He literally died in my arms and I was helpless. I blamed myself for not pushing him to go the doctor sooner, but men don't want to seem weak.

With therapy, reading books, talking to people, I realized that it was not my fault. It happened and it was beyond my husband's and my control. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. We don't know why.

The idea of talking to a medium is not bad. I have been contemplating that idea myself given that Walter died suddenly and I did not say good-bye. Just be careful because there are a lot of fake ones out there. In the end, you are the one making that decision, not your family.

It is painful, I know, but there are people here who understand the pain.

Alina

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

He sounds like a wonderful person, I'm glad you were able to meet him and have him in your life even if only for a time.  I know this loss is hard, very hard to comprehend, let alone process.  My heart goes out to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.