Basically a mess

[Queen of No Purpose]

HI guys, i'm 20 years old and my mother passed away almost a year ago, and i'm still in so much pain over it.

See my mom had been sick most of my teenage life and I took on the responsibility to take care of her, then on August 6 2015 she died. I found her when I went to go give her, her morning pills. Now recently i learned that she died of an overdose, not the pain being too much.... So my question is how do I find my purpose again? Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. 

[seachelle]

Wow, this is such a hard and devastating situation for you!  Being a caregiver at such a young age must have been beyond tough.  Losing a parent is never easy, but it can be especially hard when you had to watch them decline like you did, and then on top of it got a double dose with the sudden loss.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's possible that because you were caretaking at such a young age, you haven't had the chance to explore your own interests.  Dealing with the grief will complicate that of course.  Do you have any friends or relatives to talk to about the loss?  If not, have you considered an in person support group or counseling?  It may help you sort out your thoughts and find some direction again.

Other than that, all you can do is try to maintain and nourish your other relationships.  You are so young, and so many people your age don't have a purpose anyway.  One was forced on you at a young age.  It might be helpful, as you are able, to try volunteering or take some classes in a field you find interesting and begin to see how you can apply your life experiences to helping others.  

You may not be ready to take those steps yet and that's normal at your age.  Right now the important thing to do is connect with quality people that can support you emotionally and take care of yourself as best you can.  Try to do things you enjoy with people who are good for you.

If all else, we are here for you!