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HOW I MISS HIM!


ADITI

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Hello Everyone, I  am a seventeen year old who has joined this group in order to find some solace. This year on 12th of June , I lost my Dad. it happened so suddenly that i was totally swept off my feet. My father was a great guy. He was just 57 and had no records of any kind of substance abuse. Losing him made me loose my everything. it has been almost a month that he has gone., but i still have a hope that he will come back. i wish one day he would knock the door of the house and tell that it was all a dream. Reality is so hard to believe. I was my Daddy's princess and now in his absence, i am the one who is supposed to take care of my mom . I was so damn dependent on him. I miss him a lot. Every night i  talk to hm saying that it was so rude of him to leave me and go. Can't you come back Dad? every night i ask him but in response to this i get no reply. Life is so cruel. I have suddenly transformed from a Hindu devotee to an atheist. The last thing that i sincerely wished from God, was not given to me , that is , MY DAD. i have developed  fear for praying to God. That day on 12th of June, My dad and I had a long conversation in the day and we even watched a movie together. during that period of time he was quite normal and he told us he was feeling little feverish and believed that he would soon recover. But.......... HE was so selfish. He did not tell  us the amount of pain he was bearing and till the lst moment he kept on sying that " I'll be okay". It was around 7:00 pm that he told us "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, QUICKLY". And that was it.. That was the last thing I heard from him. Just in front of my eyes,  i saw him dropping dead. I kept on rubbing his cold hands and feet. I kept on telling him , "Baba I love you. You can't leave me". He was taken to the hospital while I stayed back at home. I prayed and prayed. Then my mom called me. i was sure that she would say, "He is fine" but she said, "He is no more ".. My world fell into pieces. My hero was gone. I was shattered and i still am.

Dad, if you are reading this, remember one thing, I love you and I miss you a lot. I just cant shed the hope of your returning back. Please Dad , if possible just talk to me once. I want to listen to your voice one last time..

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