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The Death Of My Mother


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On May 5 2016, my mother told me she was going in the bath. I asked if she was alright and she replied "yes". Approximately 10 minutes later, I heard the sound of my brothers crying "mum, mum". I thought at first that they were joking around with my mother - laughing together. The noise continued. It suddenly seemed un-natural. I rushed in to the conservatory to find my mother on the floor, covered in blood, my brothers were trying to encourage her to breath and I began to do the same. The paramedics arrived and tried to resuscitate her. There were around 9 paramedics at our house, one even fell over in a rush to help her.


We went to the hospital where she had been taken, something was wrong. On telling the receptionist whom we were, she went into a room, she was a long time. In that time, I rushed outside and vomited with worry. The receptionist returned with an obligatory sympathetic smile. She took us to a room, a very small room. Something was very wrong. I couldn't bare it, I walked out and in to the emergency ward, begging the nurse to tell me where my mother was and how she was doing. They said that someone would be along soon to tell us what had happened. This made my fears grow - it was as if something significant had happened between her leaving our home in the ambulance and that moment I was stood there at the hospital. Bear in mind that I am used to my mother being rushed in to hospital. Sadly, she had been very ill. In 2014, she was diagnosed with oesophegal cancer. She underwent chemotherapy and was brave, even through side effects which meant she had to be tube fed. Then, in March 2015, she went for the test results of her scan. She was cancer free! She had such a relief in her voice and I began to cry with relief that my mother was well again. Then, in around January this year, she started to be short of breath. One morning, I could hear her struggling for breath, the noise of which fills me with great sadness and pain. I called an ambulance. The paramedics came and things deteriorated. She was taken into intensive care, where she was diagnosed with pneumonia. She was in hospital for weeks, but was finally released. Then, again, a similar scenario occurred. The pneumonia was still there, and this resulted in a hospital visit. Some days later, my mother went to her routine check and was told that the cancer had returned. She was due to have treatment for it but shortly after, one morning, I came downstairs to find my mother had coughed up a significant amount of blood and was still doing so. I called an ambulance again and it was discovered that she had a chest infection. The more she was in hospital with infections, the more I panicked about her not having the chemotherapy she needed. She was released and finally had some chemotherapy. Two days after returning home, was 5 May, The day in which my story began and where I shall continue in my next paragraph.


The doctors eventually came in to the room. "I'm so sorry, she has died", one doctor said. This didn't feel real. "How can she be dead if she was fine and about to go in the bath an hour ago?", I asked myself. Part of me wanted to go into the operating theatre and tell them to do more and not to give up trying to save her.  "They must have read her notes and found out that she had cancer and given up on her", I thought. Days later, we received the death certificate. The cause of death was a gastrointestinal haemorrhage, triggered by the cancer. Apparently, the cancer had spread and become metastatic, it had spread to her lungs. My mother behaved so bravely in the weeks leading up to her death. She IS amazing (I meant to type is in capitals).


Since she died, I have been wondering about the haemorrhage, wondering how common it is in cancer patients. I have e-mailed her consultant, who has not replied. I feel as though I need answers. I am hoping that someone reading this who has medical knowledge could give me some answers.




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