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Dealing with how to cope


Missingmyseconddad

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Missingmyseconddad

2 and half weeks ago my father in law passed away. He only had two sons ( I married the youngest) my father in law welcomed me with loving arms from day one. Even though it was 11years ago I first met my husband I was immature and my fil still didn't care and was super nice to me. He started going downhill 6 months after husband ( boyfriend at the time) and I met due to fil's mother passing. Anyways yes his sons took care of him hit I was a little more aggressive when I knew they wouldn't be. Like calling the nurses to check on him when he was in and out of hospitals and even last month calling hospitals when we haven't heard from him and his sons thought he was ok ( he was in hospital for heart attack and didn't tell anyone) . Anyways needless to say I loved him. When I had kids his eyes just lit up when he saw them. He was a amazing grandpa!! 

Now to current day. I am trying to deal w his death but I have two young kids who need me so I haven't been able to cope. My husband has literally checked out and will spend the day playing video games or going through old memories alone. He has shut me out of everything. He claims that's how he deals with it but how I deal is I like to be around people I like to talk and be around My husband especially. The first week he died my husband was so busy w my brother in law taking care of the funeral arrangements. Then little by little he further shut me out. Getting in fights doesn't help. Also neither does feeling like I am alone in this. No matter how much I talk to him. 

I have never just wanted to run away. 

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wistletone

This is so difficult.  Can you talk to a grief counselor?  the hospitals should have people they can recommend.  Then maybe you can get your husband to talk to one, even if they don't want to talk to you.  Men internalize things differently and everyone deals in their own way.  But when you have a family, it can be very stressful and even destructive.  Find a grief counselor and see if you can get him to go to one as well.  Its less intimidating... or a grief group for men.  Sometimes its easier for them to talk to other men.  Peace and love to you.

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