Members sadheart56 Posted April 22, 2009 Members Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 I have been reading on this message board for a few months. I have been on a few others also. I thought I should tell you my story. My husband and I were married 40 years. we had a wonderful marriage. I married him when I was almost 17. We had four children and 12 grandchildre. He was a very helthy and strong man. A good Christian husband father and grandfather. He was very unselfish,always put others before himself. He started having a few digestive problems so I told him he should get a check up. He did and the doctor said he had a hernia and fatty liver. Nothing to worry about. I told them his dad had died 30 years ago from pancreatic cancer so they did blood work and it came back neg. Everything was fine for about a year and he started having problems again so back to the doctor. they did some test and said he had a bacterial infection in his small intestines and gave him an antiibiotic. He was a little better for six months and started to have some pain in his stomach,we thought was gas but went back to the doctor and had another checkup,this time it was celiac diease. All the time he was still feeling prety good except for having to run to the bathroom a little more than normal. Finally we decided to go to vanderbuilt where there are doctors in every field. April a0 2008. They ran some test and found that he had pancreatic cancer. It was on the arteries but no where else and they said it was a stage 2-3. He went to be with the lord 14 weeks later. He had verices from the liver which ruptured and bled. I know this is a lot of information but i have been having a hard time the last week or two and just needed to write it out . God is good and I know he is with Jesus and much much happier than here. But I still miss him so much.I hope I did not mispell any words as I am typing in the dark. I am saved and I know I will see him again and many lives have been changed from his death. This would make him very happy. Christine:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members candleonthewater Posted May 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted May 19, 2009 Dear sadheart56, I'm so sorry for your loss!!! I also lost my soulmate. Jim died on Dec. 27, 2006. We were to be married. I thought that I was handling his death ok and healing. But I guess I'm not. I thought that it would get easier with time. Just recently I'm feeling even more empty and lost. I understand about death and know that we will all be together on the other side. I had a NDE myself and felt the incredible love on the other side. My mind has accepted Jim's death, but not my heart. I joined this website the other day after "lurking" and "reading" the posts for some time. I thought that maybe if I write some posts here it may help me. Thanks for listening. CandleOnTheWater Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eternallyyours Posted July 5, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Dear Sadheart 56 and Candleonthewater,I just came on after along time of not logging in and read your posts. I, too, lost my precious husband, best friend and soul mate on April 26, 08. I miss him terribly and as a Christian know that we will be together again and that he is alive and well and happy. I also know and have experienced many graces from God in this last 14 months, but, sometimes in our toughest moments, our saddest moments that just doesn't cut it. I have met many other women who are going through this journey. Some have been on this journey for as long as 26 years and from what they say, there isn't a day that doesn't go by that they don't miss their husbands.....that makes sense....so when others tell me, "oh time will heal" or "in a few months you will be fine"....I have to look to these brave women who live it every day and hear their truth...."Don't have expectations, just live in the present moment....some moments you will smile at a memory and some moments you will cry" It is all ok and normal as long as you allow yourself to live and feel each moment.It is good to be among others who understand and who walk in the same paths....Hope you are all doing ok.God Bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missingcurtis Posted September 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 I was just reading a few of the posts too. It will be 4 years in December that I lost my husband of 36 years. Our 40th anniversary would have been this coming November 27th. I do think that time helps but so many memories are going through my head right now. As our anniversary date approaches and the date of his passing right after that.We went out to eat on our 36th anniversary and little did I know that 2 1/2 weeks later he would be gone.He had lung cancer but was doing fairly well. But in 3 days time he just went fast. I think that even if I live 20 more years I will still miss him.Debbie....................Missing Curtis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jandkp Posted December 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2009 Not sure if I am doing this right, but I just need to be able to talk to someone that knows what I am going through. My husband was killed 13 months ago and it is not easier this year. Last Christmas I was just numb. Really didn't know what was going on. This year, it is all real. His family has made no effort to talk to us or offer us any support. In fact my mother in law told me that it is just to difficult to be around me and the kids. This is her 16 year old grandson and 12 year old granddaugher. I know it is difficult to be around us, but I really did not need her to say that to me. For the first time in 18 years, I only had Christmas with my family. His brother's family came over, but the rest of the family will soon forget us. I knew this would happen on the day he died, I just held out that they would not write off these 2 wonderful kids. We too had just celebrated a wedding anniversay two weeks before his death. He was a policeman for 23 years and died in a freak hunting accident. He really only went hunting to socialize with the guys and take our son. Didn't really care to shoot anything just simply went to have a good time. Last night and today have been really hard. I am so lonely without him. The kids are here but they have their friends and they go and do things and I want them to. Sorry to have gone on so long. I pray that each one of you finds comfort somehow in each day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members klmmdm01 Posted December 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted December 26, 2009 Hi, I understand how truly difficult this is. I lost my husband 6 months ago. This is my first Christmas...first everything...without him. I am still numb and I hate to think what this pain and despair will feel like when the numbness wears off. Right now tho...I think I will stay numb for as long as possible. My inlaws turned on me with hatred and horrible accusations. Needless to say they act as tho I too am dead. We didn't have any children...but I think I can understand how lonely it might be for you as your children get older and you don't need to focus on them as much and just lose yourself in them. I don't know how any of us survive this, but I guess as long as we talk to each other and keep putting one foot in front of the other somehow, someday, we will see a light at the end of the tunnel. Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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