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resentment


sadbeyondwords

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sadbeyondwords

I know I should not have these feelings but I do...my friend told me that her father went into the hospital to get the same minor procedure that my mom did.. and he was managed well...and he is fine, like new 2 days later and discharged from the hospital in time for Easter. My mom, on the other hand was completely mismanaged...medical error after error. the idiot freakin doctors and nurses...and she died a horrible sickening painful needless death...when my friend told me that he was out, i was happy for her and him but resentful. why didnt my mother have the chance to live. why did my mother have to die. why did we get stuck with the worst of worst doctors. Its certainly not that I want him to suffer...for goodness sake, no...that is not what i mean... i just cant believe that such a horrific outcome happened to my mom and has esssentially ended my life too. It is not fair. Yes, I know, life is not meant to be fair. nobody promised us that it would be fair but I am so angry. she did not have to die. she went in fine. why...how...I am back in my deep dark pit. This will always be there. I cant believe that for the rest of my life, I have to deal with the fact that my mom died needlessly because of these morons in the hospital. how is this possible. I am in such a bad place

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The feeling that you're feeling, I so badly understand that.  And I'm so sorry.  I know it feels like your life is over, too.  I feel that each day as well.  It's not though.  Even when I don't believe myself, it's still true, and I hope you know that, too.  I'm so sorry that your mother's care was mismanaged.  No woman, no family, deserves to go through that.

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