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Birthday....


oilyducks

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My dad died well it will be three years in October, october 6 to be exact.  It's been a roller coaster of emotions that i could have never imagined. Most of the time i am just sad and miss him, he was my best friend or im angry that he had to die, especially when i wasnt ready to let him go i was only 19, there was sooo much we were suppose to do together that cant happen now...im mad that i had to take care of him and watch him die (he was an alcoholic and died from liver complications after spending about 2 months in the hospital). i feel like ive been on auto pilot these last few years jsut doing what i need to live.  everytime i think its better it just seems to get worst...

anyway, his birthday is on friday, the 6th (kinda ironic), and i never knew quite how to spend it, he would have been 56, just wayy too young. on prevvious years i have drank budweiser, his beer of choice (probably not the best way to celebrate, it jsut reminds me of him sooo much), broughten a stuffed animal, a rabbit (it was his nickname for me), and always brought him a birthday card as well as one for myself from him. as a college student, i am kinda broke and have no money to go out to dinner or really do anything in his honor, so i feel kinda lost. it one of my good friends birthday and he is having a party and wants me to go but i feel like i cant. any ideas?

lastly, my birthday is on the 11th, so close to his, we always celebrated them together, my friends keep asking me what i wanna do and i dont really want to do anything. last year, i turned 21 and celebrated it like most, got drunk @ the bar with my friends but at the end of the night i ended up ballin my eyes out over the phone to my dads best friend whos birthday is the same as mine.....

thanks for the vent it been bugging me for weeks.

i feel as if it shouldnt be this hard, its his 3rd birthday, when might it get easier?

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stephysteph13

oilyducks,

 

I understand your pain. I lost my mom, it will be three years in September. and to be honest it didnt get much better. But you arent alone.. If you want to talk im here for you. Im also around your age. was 16 when i lost her now Im 19.

steph

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