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Some photos of my son


mattsmum

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I just wanted to share a couple of photos of Matt.  Now bear in mind he died in 1995 and we didn't have a digital camera then.  I don't have a scanner at present as mine gave up on me a year ago and I haven't bothered purchasing a new one.  So I took some pictures of some pictures that I had and uploaded them to my machine.  They are not that good, but bear with me - I am no photographer.

Here's my baby - aged four

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Aged 14

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Aged 15 with his sister

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Aged 18 - about 8 weeks before he died

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Thanks for letting me share my boy :)

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thanks for sharing your sweet, handsome boy.  the pics look great...almost makes me wonder why I bother with scanner...you did such a good job.  I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious son.  The pain lingers, but the sweet memories also remain.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

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Thanks Carol, it's his birthday in early March and he would have been 32 years old.  I am struggling at the moment, I always do around his birthday. 

Hugs

Gerry x

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Gerry:  I noticed on another thread that you mentioned that Matt had died of cancer...if he's 32 next month, that would make him in his teens when he passed.  What type of cancer did Matt have, if you don't mind talking about it, that is.   My son Mike passed on Oct 14, 2006, after fighting brain cancer for 17 months.  Learning your child has cancer (or any terminal illness) is such pain and heartbreak...you just want to take their place and let them go on with their lives.  Mike had three children, and a young wife.  His baby wasn't even 2 when Mike passed.  We miss him so much....I know he watches over his boys.  One of the first things he said when he learned of his diagnosis and prognosis was, breaking down crying, "I won't see my boys graduate high school, I won't even get to take Damon to his first day of school!"  That was, amazingly, the last time he actually cried...he spent the rest of the time fighting, and living every moment that he could.  One of the last things he did was to try to take his boys fishing, but we had had flooding in the area, and the only accessible place for him for fishing at the time was closed due to the flooding.  He was so very disappointed, as he knew his time left was very limited.

Again, I am so sorry that you had to suffer through this, and our boys, as well.  Mike would be 34 this coming August...

love and peace,

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[user=15807]mikesmomrs[/user] wrote:

Gerry:  I noticed on another thread that you mentioned that Matt had died of cancer...if he's 32 next month, that would make him in his teens when he passed.  What type of cancer did Matt have, if you don't mind talking about it, that is.   My son Mike passed on Oct 14, 2006, after fighting brain cancer for 17 months.  Learning your child has cancer (or any terminal illness) is such pain and heartbreak...you just want to take their place and let them go on with their lives.  Mike had three children, and a young wife.  His baby wasn't even 2 when Mike passed.  We miss him so much....I know he watches over his boys.  One of the first things he said when he learned of his diagnosis and prognosis was, breaking down crying, "I won't see my boys graduate high school, I won't even get to take Damon to his first day of school!"  That was, amazingly, the last time he actually cried...he spent the rest of the time fighting, and living every moment that he could.  One of the last things he did was to try to take his boys fishing, but we had had flooding in the area, and the only accessible place for him for fishing at the time was closed due to the flooding.  He was so very disappointed, as he knew his time left was very limited.

Again, I am so sorry that you had to suffer through this, and our boys, as well.  Mike would be 34 this coming August...

love and peace,

Carol,

I am sad your son has left so much behind - I saw a picture of his wife and little boys.  That is just so sad:( 

Yes Matt died of cancer - he was diagnosed just after his 17th birthday with bone cancer (Ewing's Sarcoma).  It eventually spread to his brain and he had partial paralysis in his face and body.  He had all the treatment, (1 years worth) but just after his final chemo round, we learned that it had returned with a vengeance and he was given a few months to live.  Like Mike, he fought the good fight and enjoyed what time he had left.  He loved fishing, so my brothers took him fishing, even carrying him when he couldn't walk anymore.  Strangely, from diagnosis until his death, it was like Mike, 17 months.

I am so happy that you have little grandchildren - they are precious.  I have two, Jack who is 8 and Chloe aged 6.  Jack is the splitting image of Matt;)  My daughter found it so hard after her only brother died.  She is still coping with his loss, even 13+ years on. 

My son never had a girlfriend, nor a car, nor a job - we have missed out so much.  We so miss him and always will.  But I know that one day, we will be with him again, that makes this existence bearable.

Hugs

Gerry x

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Gerry:  I am so sorry that your sweet Matt had to suffer through this disease.  I am also very sorry that he didn't get to live more of his life, enjoying the later "teenage years" passages of life...Mike also had no response to the treatment he underwent in the later stages of his illness...they stopped it after the 2nd or 3rd such treatment, as they knew it was just robbing him of the quality of life he had, and it wasn't doing anything for him. 

I can imagine how your daughter has missed him....Mike and his next older sister, Cathi, had grown very close over those last couple of months...she would be here to be with him (he couldn't be left alone by then) and they would go out in her car, roaring down the road, with Vanilla Bean Coolattas from Dunkin Donuts, with Wheezer blaring from the iPod hooked up the car speakers...they had a lot of fun doing that.  Mike's older sister lives in VA and has been there for over 20 years.  While she and Mike were closer when he was younger, they had drifted apart some over these last ten years or so, though she misses him terribly also.  I am so sorry for Matt's siblings...they will always miss him, I'm sure.

I am very glad for you that you have grandchildren...I am sure they keep you hopping.  Mine do keep me busy...I have 7, though the only two girls are in VA with their mom and we only see them a couple of times a year.  We see Mike's boys pretty nearly every two weekends, and sometimes every weekend.   When summer is here again, we will likely see them every weekend again, so they can swim in the pool in our community.  My younger daughter has two boys, 10 and 23, and we see them quite often. 

You mentioned that you had seen a picture of Mike's wife and kids; where did you see that---on BI?  Have you made a website for Matt?  If you have, may have the address so I can visit it?   I put one together over that first year after Mike passed....it helped a lot.  At first it was hard, I cried every time I opened it to work on it, but it was also healing...I could look at his picture, talk about him, write about him,and never have to endure the "rolling eyes" or the deep sigh normall heard when I would bring up his name (at work, or someplace like that). 

Mike's website address is http://www.james-michael.virtual-memorials.com if you would like to visit.

Thank you for your kind words, and again, I am so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful son. 

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

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Hi Carol,

I've just been looking at your lovely son's memorial website. It is such a wonderful and loving tribute to a beautiful boy.  It overwhelmed me and I shed some tears for your loss and also for the untimely death of Mike who had so much to live for.

No, I don't have a website for Matt - I guess I should, but don't have the first idea how to go about it!  I also need to buy a scanner so that I can scan in his photos.

I saw Mike's family on BI somewhere, but I have looked and can't think where I saw it?  My memory is sucks just lately, must be getting old!

Cancer is such a cruel disease - I remember being so ANGRY when he died, because we had such hope of recovery at first.  There were mess-ups with his chemo rounds, then they decided to postphone his radiotherapy and I now wonder if that might have helped.  I guess you need answers and somebody to blame - that's being human:?

Like Mike, Matthew took his illness in his stride.  He would often say, 'Hey mother, it's not in our hands and what will be will be.'  I remember when, a couple of days before he died, he said, 'Things are grim aren't they.' Then he cried, I held him and he sobbed, 'How am I going to tell my friends?'  He wasn't crying for himself, but for his friends and family.  That was the sort of boy he was. 

The day he died, we had a lovely elderly pallative care nurse who came in to sit through the night with him.  Around 7 am he woke up and said to her, 'has anybody made you a drink?'  Lol, I gave him what for when I came in the room!!  Such sweet, painful memories that will stay with me until I die.

Today the sun is shining here in the UK and the temperature is around 14 degrees - spring is just around the corner and everything will be springing into life.  I love the springtime:)

Gerry x

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Gerry, I saw your post here and just want to say that your Matt is a gorgeous young man. So handsome. I know you probably know it, but feel comfy posting in Loss of Adult Children if you like. I am glad that you have been talking with Carol and others whose children have left in similar fashion as your Boy. I am very sorry that your Son had to deal with so much and in turn, that you and the rest of the family have to grieve as you do. My thoughts and hopes and prayers.

Dee

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[user=7435]ericasmom[/user] wrote:

Gerry, I saw your post here and just want to say that your Matt is a gorgeous young man. So handsome. I know you probably know it, but feel comfy posting in Loss of Adult Children if you like. I am glad that you have been talking with Carol and others whose children have left in similar fashion as your Boy. I am very sorry that your Son had to deal with so much and in turn, that you and the rest of the family have to grieve as you do. My thoughts and hopes and prayers.

Dee

Thank you Dee for your kind words.  Yes I will pop over to the adult child section - wasn't sure where to post actually!

All of our children died in different circumstances, but they all had one thing in common, they died young  and we are bereft of their presence.  But I hang onto the fact that we will see hime again, one day:)

Gerry x

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[user=25842]mattsmum[/user] wrote:

All of our children died in different circ**stances, but they all had one thing in common, they died young  and we are bereft of their presence.  But I hang onto the fact that we will see hime again, one day:)

Gerry x

Gerry - So true, so young and so lost without them.  One handsome young lad with what would seem to be a sense of humour no matter what life handed him.

I am sorry for your loss but pleased you found your way here.  I post on Loss of an Adult...

I came here in April of 07.  I was encouraged by the understanding the knowing. Seeing other parents expressions of their childrens lives through postings and memorials went along way in helping me heal.

Glad to hear the weather is warming up in the UK.  We fly out on 23rd March for 3 weeks. 

Take Care - Trudi

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