Just lost my father last Monday

[daddysgirlx3]

My name is Erin, and I'm 18.

I'm having an extremely difficult time dealing with my father's death.

I was eating dinner with him, and afterwards him and I were crossing the street.

A man running from the cops hit him going 70 mph. He died instantly. I saw it all happen.

The image haunts me.

Here's the articles for a broader picture of the story:

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/02/newark_man_charged_in_fatal_so.html

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/02/daughter_saw_dad_get_hit_in_so.html

I don't know if anyone needs some kind of proof that I am who I say I am, I have a facebook if its necessary.

But really, I just need to know when I'll stop feeling numb. I feel like it's a dream, that nothing is real and that he's going to call me soon and ask how I am.

I was always a daddy's girl. We drifted because his awful girlfriend took him away from us and all that.  But the past 3 months, we were getting so close. I called him everyday, we were making plans, I ate dinner with him minutes before he was hit.

What did I do to deserve this??

[butterfly13]

Erin, I'm soo sorry to hear about your dad.I live in NJ,I remember hearing this terrible story.You most likely are in a state of shock right now.It's probably going to take a long time for the reality to set in.I wish I could say that it will get easier,it doesn't,but at least the pain eases a little as time goes on.Be prepared,you will probably go through alot of emotions.Just be thankful that you and your dad became close again in the last 3months.Life is so unpredictable and unfair at times!!!I will keep you in my prayers.

[daddysgirlx3]

Thank you so much.

I'm going through so many emotions. It's horrible but I know it gets worse before better. Especially since it isn't even real yet :[

[connorsmom]

Oh Erin,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dad.  I was sitting here feeling badly for losing my mom last year.....and you put it all in perspective. I'm 2x your age......and loss hit me hard.

You are such a young woman to be going through such a tragic loss.  18 is way too young to have to deal with this tragedy.

My advice......seek out a counselor....you have enough on your plate with college, exams, stressors.  Make sure that you find someone for support while at school.

Are you close to your mom? Siblings? Make special time with them; you will be "rocked to your core" for a decent amount of time and may need to go "home" and eat lasagna and watch old movies for a bit  It's okay to feel what you need to feel.

I was sad, then okay, then angry, then okay......and the cycle continues.  This morning while cleaning out the closet, I found the sweater that I wore to my mom's funeral and it set me off once again. I've been great for weeks.  Grief comes in waves.

Feel free to vent on here; we've all been there........and are happy to help.  Also, I don't know what your beliefs are......but watch for signs.  My mom gave me a lot for the first few months.

Take care of yourself, eat well and rest......((hugs)) to you.

Jen

 

 

 

 

 

[lifes1k]

Erin,

My heart goes out to you! Lean on your family and friends at this time, I am sure they all want to help you! I read the article it sounded like your father was truly loved and what an amazing man to have saved you! I hope one day that memory becomes a light of hope instead of the darkness it seems to be right now!

 It is never easy to lose a parent and at such a young age too. I too lost my father early in life and had the same feelings of why I deserved such a horrific adventure. Please know you did not do anything wrong, no one deserves this!!! Along with the heavy sadness comes all these overwhelming emotions of every kind and that is just part of this rollercoaster we call grief. It is so soon after such tradegy, so take it one day at a time!! I wish you and your family peace through your journey!

Debbie

[4froggies]

Hey girl...

So sorry to hear about your dad. I suffer from the pain of having lost my dad as well, he died in front of me as well. Different circumstances, but emotions are prob much the same. Look me up on fb if you would like. Michele Cyrek. I would be glad to talk to you and help you through what I can. You aren't alone...I assure you. 

I will pray for you and your fam.

Michele

[Kelly]

[align=center]SAVE THE DATE!![/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] [/align] [align=center] We are excited to meet you!! Come join us at the Beyond Indigo Reunion!![/align]  When: August 14^th through the 16^th,   2009. We suggest you arrive the night of the 13^th.

Where: Minneapolis, MN

For Who?: All Beyond Indigo members and people healing from grief and dying journeys. This means YOU! If you know someone who is not a member invite them along!

 We will be having speakers, social networking, opportunities to remember our loved ones and just a plain good time.

 More details (schedule, pictures of the location etc) will follow in the next 7 to 14 days.

 We need at least 25 people to make this event possible. We hope to see as many of you who can make it!!!

 Have questions? Please post in the Beyond Indigo Reunion Forum at  http://beyondindigo.com/forums/view_forum.php?id=83

 

Kelly Baltzell, MA

President

Beyond Indigo

[oilyducks]

You didnt do anything to deserve this, awful things happen just because they happen.  I also wondered what did i do for my dad to be taken from me when i was so young, but life kind of just happens and i know thats a sucky answer but its nothing you did or didnt do.  I also watched my dad die, not in shocking way like yours but i had to give permisson and watch as they took him of life support. its hard and the first year is probably the toughest, especially the first few months.  feel free to look me up on fb alicia bragg if you like. im here for you.

oilyducks.