Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

Your Child's Memorial


nicksdad

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Like yourself we have lost a loved one. We lost our son Nicholas in 2008. For some reason like most, we find peace in trying to help others through the process whatever it may be.

We wanted to make a site that “anyone” could put information about their loved one, and have it available 24 hours a day.

Please feel free to put whatever information you’d like about your loved one.

http://www.neverlosefaith.com

Sincerely,

Dan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Well, my son was one of a kind that's for sure.  Around his 17th birthday he was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma which is a very nasty bone cancer that doesn't have a good survival rate.  We knew from the start that he might not make it, but you have hope.

I knew from the day he was born, that he would not live long, how strange is that?  I knew in my heart that his time with us was precious and short.  A cold sweat broke out when we received the news that he had cancer, because I knew that time was running out.

Matt was a clown, a loveable, cheeky clown that loved life and people.  He loved babies, old people, disabled people - he lit up his cancer ward with laughter, sat with the dying, comforted the old people who were going through chemo.  He was such a talented artist and had hoped to go to Art school - but this was never to be.  He went through a year of awful treatment, nearly lost his life twice through infections - we spent more time in hospital than we did at home, leaving behind our lovely daughter, Claire who desperately needed us around her.  It was the worst time of my life, but we made so many friends.  When his cancer returned only 2 weeks after his treatment stopped, we were told the devastating news that he would be gone before the summer was out.  It was now April.

We never told him, it would have taken away his hope, but he knew all the same.  Each week he grew weaker, the cancer spread, robbing him of walking, it took away his joy for living, his impish ways, his humour.  Slowly it took away his speech when it spread to his brain - in constant pain he would smile and say, 'Oh well this is the way it is, Ma.'  We nursed him at home, watching the days slip into weeks and the weeks into months.  By August we knew that time had run out.  My birthday on the 11th saw him barely alive - but he shared a glass of wine toasting my special day.  'Sorry I never bought you anything Mum.'  Dear God, he was here with me so why would I want anything more?

By the 14th he had slipped in and out of consciousness - he was slowly slipping away - 'Mum' he said, 'it's like floating on a cloud.'  I kissed his hand and told him to close his eyes, he smiled.  I left the room with his father, the pain was too great watching your child struggle for breath, struggle for life.  As we left, so did he, gently closing his eyes and taking one last breath.

That was almost 14 years ago - I still miss him like crazy.  I go to bed thinking of him and wake up and think, 'he's gone.'  Nothing changes - our lives continue.  My daughter is happily married for 10 years.  I have two beautiful grandchildren, a wonderful husband of 36 years, but Matt is not here.  My son will be 32 years old in March.  I think to myself, 'I might have had grandchildren, a daughter-in-law.  He would be coming round to our house and I would be cooking him his favourite dinner - but instead we will visit his grave and bring him flowers.

I trained two years ago as a Grief and Bereavement Counsellor.  I know all the facts, I know what is the right thing to say, how grief works, all the patterns etc, but for me it is personal, it is real and it doesn't help my grief or my pain.  But, I am so proud of my son - he is my shining beacon in this dark world.  I thank God he was part of my life for 18 beautiful years and I will love and miss him, all the days of my life...but one day, I know as sure as night follows day, that I will hold him in my arms again.

Thank you for letting me share my beautiful shining eternal star x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Matts Mum, I dont know what words to say/write, but I read your post and cannot just skip on to the next page.  The story of your son, his life and his passing so touched me.  From your description he sounds like such a strong young man, for some reason, deep in my heart I also knew that my daughter would not be with us forever, I can't pinpoint why, but I feel I knew. 

Our children reached out and touched so many people in their short lives, I can only guess that God felt they had reached their point of perfection and it was time for them to move to the next level... they are eternally happy and safe now.  I also believe and hang on for dear life to the belief that one day we will hold our children in our arms again, and for them it will only be a minute since they last saw us, for us it will seem like an eternity. 

Thank you for telling us about Matt,

Marcia   Bethany's Mom Forever

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Mattsmum

Thank you for sharing the life and passing of our son...it really touched me..you are right, this is personal...it is our precious children.

Like Marcia said in one of her postings we need to hang in there - we need to hang onto Hope, that in time we will found joy, peace, comfort, laughter, and all of the beauty in life again.

All my love

Enid

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

[user=25842]mattsmum[/user] wrote:

I trained two years ago as a Grief and Bereavement Counsellor.  I know all the facts, I know what is the right thing to say, how grief works, all the patterns etc, but for me it is personal, it is real and it doesn't help my grief or my pain.  But, I am so proud of my son - he is my shining beacon in this dark world.  I thank God he was part of my life for 18 beautiful years and I will love and miss him, all the days of my life...but one day, I know as sure as night follows day, that I will hold him in my arms again.

Thank you for letting me share my beautiful shining eternal star x

Thank you for sharing the story of your beloved Matt, your beautiful shining eternal star.  It truly is the years we have them to hold that matter the most as life continues on.

Knowing how grief works, what to say to others does little to alter the ache we feel each day when we think of our children.........Trudi

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Thanks Marcia and Enid,

We will never get over losing our children, that is the most important thing to remember.  We begin to heal a little inside, have an acceptance of the event, but the hurt, sadness and missing never go away.  I have a friend who lost her child 35 years ago.  She is still coping with the loss.  But as Enid says, there is hope!

I do have a faith in a Higher Being and I know that our children are safe - one day there will be a joyous reunion but God has left each one of us here for a reason.  My reason was to train as a counsellor so that I could offer help to those struggling after loss.  I do it for God and also for the memory of my son - I don't charge money either because I vowed to the Lord that if He would get me through the loss, I would give something back and I kept my promise.

On my computer desk I have this little poem, called the Divine Weaver - it gives me hope and in a way a little understanding of how life works:

My life is but a weaving

between my Lord and me,

I cannot choose the colours

he worketh steadily.

Oftentimes he weaveth sorrow

and I, in foolish pride,

forget that he  seeth the upper,

and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent

and the shuttles cease to fly,

shall God unroll the canvas

and explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

in the weaver's skilful hand

as the threads of gold and silver

in the pattern he has planned.

Love, peace and light,

Gerry x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.