Jump to content

Holidays approaching fast


antspop

Recommended Posts

  • Members

Thanksgiving is almost here and the word alone is enough to make me sad. I truly am not looking forward to the next 3 months. I don't know how I'm going to handle it. My son loved Christmas. Not just for the present (I know he loved getting presents) but he loved going to get the tree, decorating it, the Christmas songs on the radio, the smells in the kitchen--all the things I grew up with. And now he's not going to be here to enjoy all of that so how the hell am I suppose to?!! Sometimes I have doubts about what happens when we die. I like to believe we go to a much better place that this one we live in now. I pray every night that I get some kind of sign that Anthony is ok and maybe for a dream or two and nothing happens. Maybe I'm just looking too hard or I'm not being open enough. I want to believe but some of the things that go on in this world we live in make it hard. I find it hard to believe that our children died for a reason. I don't know of any reason good enough for a parent to lose a child (no matter what age!) It's not natural. The weekends for me (and my wife) are the worse. We have to get use to the fact that our son won't be coming down the stairs and asking for an omlette or pancakes and bacon, or all three. At least during the week we're in and out and our jobs keep us busy--not that we don't think about him then. There's not a minute that goes by that Anthony is on our minds. My poor wife works in a school and I think she's stronger than I would be. I'm so glad I found BI. Just being able to send messages and receive them back from parents that are in this same crappy club (that no one wants to be a part of) that my wife and I are in is very helpful. I want to wish everyone good luck with the upcoming "holidays" and I will try to get through them. By the way how did most of you put the pictures of your children under your names like that? God Bless you ALL!

post-18566-128153886054_thumb.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
4everjoeysmom

AntsPop, Go to MY ACCOUNT (top right toolbar) and then choose AVITAR (middle tool bar).  Browse for the photo you want to attach, upload it, and that's it.  You'll have a beautiful photo of Anthony to accompany all your posts.

I so know your "holiday pain".  I am visiting my family for 6 weeks over the holidays this year.  My surviving son Patrick is 24, but I am going to bake him our famous cream cheese cookies for Christmas if it kills me--and it just might.  Joey LOVED the holidays.  He was always the most vibrant at the family gatherings.  All of the memories of holidays past, how can they ever be as happy again?  I share your sadness and anxieties and pray we all can make it through with grace and love for all of the life still around us in our surviving kids and families.

Like you, I find it hard sometimes to imagine a perfect heaven and a good God when so much loss and pain exists in this world.  The only way i have found comfort is knowing that each life is created and destined from beginning to end, and its so random which lives are destined to be so short.  I wonder too why we have to endure such unnatural order, loss and pain in losing our beautiful kids.  But I believe some purpose lies in what we make of them and life after they are gone to continue their legacies, what we do in grace and love despite our pain and suffering.  It's so unfair and cruel, and my only hope and comfort is knowing I will have eternity with Joey beyond this life.  Hold onto that hope for you and Anthony, even if it doesn't come clearly or make perfect sense, because heaven with our boys is definitely worth holding onto.  I hope your dreams and comforting confirmations come.  I'll be praying for that as your gift this Christmas.  Love & Hugs, Claudia--JoeysMom 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
4everjoeysmom

..and I'm so happy now to see Anthony's bright and beautiful face alongside your posts...  He comes to life through your words and his photogenic expressions.  I know it isn't much consolation, but I thank God he has left such beautiful footprints in your heart, as my Joey has in mine.  How would we even know true love and life if it hadn't been for our wonderful sons?!  Blessings of peace and comfort, Claudia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.