Members michellem Posted February 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 It has been just over two weeks since I lost my dog and I cannot stop crying. Shadow would have been 15 years old in April and although he was somewhat frail, it was so unexpected how we lost him. The night before he ate fine and even had his favorite ice cream (just licked the bowl). He was up often that night and appeared to be falling down a few times that we thought was his arthritis. In the very early hours of the AM, he laid down by the bed barking (not on the bed as he usually slept) and we put him on the bed and he just laid there with his eyes open, but with a swollen stomach. We called the vet and brought him in and she said he may have had a mass in his stomach that ruptured and inquired what our expectations were. While they gave us time to be with him, he stopped breathing on his own. The most difficult thing ever was to leave him after he died. I keep having flashbacks to that and him barking that morning trying to tell us that he was hurt. I can't sleep at night and the house feels so empty without him.I thought we were prepared for it since he was old and a big dog, but nothing prepares you for how you are going to feel after. It's like I still can't believe he is gone and yet, I feel like part of me died along with him. I read others stories on how some are comforted by the memories - I hope to feel that someday. For now, I only feel hurt and guilt that we should have done something else for him. I also wish I could believe that I will be with him again someday - that is even hard for me to understand right now. The vet said we had bonus years with him and I although I agree, it still doesn't help with the way I feel now. Thanks so much for listening to my story - any suggestions to help cope with this loss from others experiences would be appreciated. Michelle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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