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When will I stop hurting so bad?


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I am new to this group. I have never turned to a support group but it is now time. I lost my mom 4 years ago after a 6 year battle with cancer. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD from watching her die. She was my best friend and my everything. I was her only child and really had no support. I mean people only stay around for so long and my husband was not supportive. My nana does not like to talk about it and my dad well he really doesn't have emotions. I felt like a bother and lost the only person who truly cared. So I stuffed my emotions with pills so I didn't feel for years until I got pregnant and stopped talking them cause I believed she was a blessing from my mom my little miracle. So for some time I had no time to grieve I had my baby girl to take care off. Well I had a break down a few weeks ago and apparently I have not grieved properly which I agree with because I cry for her all the time and yearn for her to be here to see my little gir, for advice and to talk to about so many things. I can not talk about her out loud cause it is to real and final to me. In my groups I fight back tears or shut down what I am saying! My daughter was just laying with me and I just burst in tears over my mom. I feel hopeless at this point and needed to find somewhere to talk

Thank you for reading


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I'm so very sorry for your loss.

My heart goes out too you, I lost my father in sept too cancer and now I'm losing my mom to cancer. Like I said too my mother when she found out that she had stage 4 cancer, I said mom losing you would be the hardest event in my life to date, but life is only temporary and I wouldn't want too go on, but I would because life is short and the higher power wants me too endure the pain of losing both of my parents in a short period of time.

Mom had a stroke about two weeks ago on top of the cancer, so now I have no way too communicate with her.

I feel your pain it's not easy too lose your support system, I keep thinking that saying that god doesn't give you more than you can handle.

Just remember that your not alone, and I'll pray for peace for you.

I know all too well about the tears, it's natural my grandmother would cry everyday (I thought she was depressed) I would ask her grandma why are you crying, she would say when you get older you will understand.

If you need too vent that's what we're here for.

Peace. Alex

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Hugs Kristan


I am so sorry for your loss.  Losing a parent is the toughest thing I've ever gone through ... and still going through.  I lost both parents in less than a year and still grieving.  As I go through this grieving process I keep asking myself this; why does it hurt so much?  I can tell you why.  Because I loved my parents soooo much.  In seeing this reason why I am heavy hearted, I come to see that I had something very special in my life.  A loving mother and a loving father.  I've also come to a conclusion about grieving these losses.  IT IS NORMAL to feel sad, cry endless tears and miss my parents like crazy.  So as much as it hurts, I let those tears flow and allow myself to feel sad.  Cause that's just how I feel.  


 You mentioned feeling hopeless.  I am not a religious person but since my mom's passing I have become very spiritual.  throughout my life I have read bits and pieces of the bible and really didn't understand it but since she passed on I read the bible a lot and I've found scripture that speaks directly on death and how Jesus Himself comes to take each of us "home."  In that I get much comfort and hope.  There are many other scriptures that bring me comfort.  Another thing that helps me get through this is that I want to honour my parents and I do this every day in trying to be the best person I can be.  I know that they wouldn't want me to be crippled by this.  They would want me to carry on with this life and even enjoy it until we meet again.  I believe that is what your mom would want for you.  She would want you and your daughter to enjoy each other like you and she did.  


I hope this helps and will keep you in my prayers for comfort and hope.

Cindy Jane



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