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missing him so much


mompinkyellow

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mompinkyellow

over 2 years have gonne by ......the more times passes the more i miss him ,

since his birthday July-19 i can't stop thinking about him .i go to bed with him on my mind i wake up with him on my mind , have i lost my mind ......my marriage was so bad because of his alcohol abuse ...we divorced and 3 months later he dies , why do i feel like i died with him..................:(

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separatewidow

I am just now in a very similar situation; I left him 4 months ago, so we were not yet divorced, and he just died. He apparently had cancer for a while (with very limited symptoms), but never went to the doctor (one contributing factor amongst many as to why I left-he took no care of himself), and his family finally called me when he was in extremis.  I made it back to him before he died, but only just, and he died without knowing I came back to him. He suffered intensely when I left him, and if I had only waited he would never have suffered like that before he died; he would have died secure in our marriage.

I don't see how I'll ever get over the guilt.

Did that happen to you, and do you still feel that way? Maybe that is why his birthday set you off. Logically, I know that I had no way of knowing he was going to die, and neither did you. While it is so sad that he died, you have to remember why you got the divorce, not just that he died soon after. I hope this forum helps us both; we sure need it, don't we?

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mompinkyellow

I don't know what will help me anymore , all i know the guilt is never easing off me ,as the time goes by it seems to get worse , I can't figure out why he did not tell me .I have not found peace our comfort in over 2 years ....i have totally giving up on life , what ever happens will happen .then after his death i had to deal with the ugly ness of his family he never had any contact with , his Mom found a check I guess he signed it with intention to pay for his funeral (thats why the hospital contacted me ) after he passed on, o no she took the check and filled it out in her name for $8000.00 ..did his funeral get paid for ???i don't know they will not tell me . Now i understand why he never wanted anything to do with his family ,well the list goes on and on .....i hope you find peace and comfort my friend

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traumaqueen12908

Hey....

My name is Kim. I'm only 17, but I kind of know how you both are feeling.  I've had 2 friends that have killed themselves and my uncle...along with 8 other deaths this year...the guilt I am going through of not talking to them, or calling them, or hanging out is really getting to me. It's like...if I had only known that they would be leaving me I would have done soooo much more.  I think everyone goes through this thinking, so we are not alone. I don't know if this will help any, but just be strong & learn to accept what happened...Life is what we make of it, and they would want us to find peace again....in time.

 

tc!!

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It has been seven years since I lost my son Jordan Paul Wodehouse, he was killed by a drunk driver and I know the grief never goes away and the anger sometimes just erupts like a volcanoe. Loosing a child has got to be the most painful thing in my life it never ever goes away. I cry, I laugh and I am but this pain and the whole in my heart just gets larger every day. But the funny thing about it "life goes on" such as it is. That is the ironic part, you have to wait to see your beautiful child again, the waiting part is the terrible part. I love you my Jordan and you are always with me each and every day that I breath.

Judgesmom:?

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Dear Members,

We are excited to mention that we are moving to a more new and improved message boards on MONDAY MORNING AUGUST 9th! The boards will be done for a few hours while we are making the conversation. Remember we posted information about this move a month ago. For some of you this might seem a bit sudden,  but when we were reviewing the site we determined the current message board you are using is out of date and the company that designed it is no longer in existence. The good news is this new message board will have new features that have been requested in the past like more fields we can add to your profiles and a chat room up to 20 people at one time. If we find the chat room is bursting at the seams we will add additional room for extra people. All your old posts, private messages and such will be migrated to the new message board. You might have to put up your profile picture again but not sure. The new company will be doing the migration for us. Here is a short list of some of the new features on the board:

- Custom Profile Fields

- Users can customize their profile pages by selecting a background color or background image, with tiling options.

- Facebook and Twitter Integration

- users can respond to multiple posts at once with "mini-quote"

- Pinned discussion threads - like welcome to our board etc.

- Announcements made across some boards or the entire message board

- Search: Users can easily find all content generated by a particular member, by clicking the 'Find Content' button that appears on the main profile page, or in the Mini Profile Popup which can be accessed throughout the board. The results page allows content to be filtered by application, as well whether the member created it or merely participated in it.

- Privacy: allows users to sign in anonymously, hiding them from the online users list. Users also have the option to disable personal conversations and user-to-user emails, as well as ignore other users if necessary.

The next exciting piece of news about the new message board is it will have a new domain name of www.grieving.com for search engine optimization purposes. It will still be apart of Beyond Indigo and can be found through www.beyondindigo.com. We will be redirecting your current URL's to this new domain name but we might miss a few. If that is the case simply go back to www.grieving.com or www.beyondindigo.com to find your message board thread. We will try to make the transition as seamless as possible.

The bottom line is the new board will give us room to grow our community and more options to interact better with each other.

If you have any questions please direct them to feedback@beyondindigo.com.

Kelly Baltzell, MA

CEO/President

Beyond Indigo Family

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it is going to take time to heal and you should join a support group. I lost my mom 6 months ago and am in a support group.

praying for your healing peace and comfort.

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