Death of a Pet

[sesf110]

My Heart breaks tonight. Not for a Pet but a Mother Doe who has lost her baby. One of the Dogs got ahold of her baby yesterday, now she goes around calling for her tonight in the most saddest cry I have ever heard. She has called and called for her baby, and you can just hear her fear and heart break.

She will not give up. I have tried to talk to her from my window explaining that Her Baby is dead and gone and I am so so sorry for her loss.

The cries of a Mother is the greatest Pain I know of.. In Humans and Nature. God says there is a Purpose and a Reason and a Perfect Time for everything under the Sun, but I will be dang if I can make any sense of this at all.

Death is a cruel monster for the Ones that are left behind.

victoria

[sesf110]

Hello,I don't know how this happen but somehow my Username is on the post about the poor mother deer and her baby. That was not written by me. I apologize to the person who posted this, but I don't have any idea how it happen.

sesf110

What I had wanted to post was that I still grieve for Mylar - my way of helping my own grief was mailing a Memorial I wrote to all my friends. It ended up on Golden Retriever Rescue of Michigan. Please have a visit - he was such a good boy. And, all who knew him, especially those so close to him still grieve for him.

http://www.grrom.com/mylar_golden_angels.htm

[barbarab]

I am heartbroken reading all your posts about your beloved pets, but is helping me to come to terms with my loss. 2 days ago I found my beloved cat Ren dead at the side of the road he had been hit by a car. I have not stopped crying, have lost interest in everything around me, I have an ache in my heart that will just not go away. His sister is looking around the garden for him and meowing which is also heartbreaking to watch.

Ren was the most beautiful gentle cat, he was my handsome little man, and I used to tell him so every day.

At the moment I cannot see myself getting over this. I have nightmares about

whether he suffered and whether he was calling out for me. Ren was only 2 years old. I always thought we would grow old together and he would have a good long life and die naturally.

REn was cremated yesterday, and I am collecting his ashes today (in a sweet little casket)

I need advice because I need to keep it together for his sister. Please, can anyone help me?

[pghermarykay]

Someone past this story to me after I had to put my dog, Casey to sleep after 12 years with him. He was close to 14, I adopted him from the humane society when he was about 2 for my step daughter, but he became my dog, in every way.

I miss him terribly. Today is the 2nd month since I lost him.

I can relate to those who think of getting another pet, but I can't get past the anger towards the vets that I had taken him to. I feel I don't want another pet because I don't trust the vets.

I wish I could get past this somehow because I truly love all animals, but I can't risk this kind of hurt.

Subject: Dog Story

Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005 12:10:12 +0000

> Why Dogs Don't Live as Long as People...

>

> Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a 10 year-old Irish

> Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their

> little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping

> for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told

> the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform

> the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

>

> As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be

> good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt Shane

> could learn something from the experience.

>

> The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family

> surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last

> time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few

> minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept

> Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.

>

> We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering out loud about

> the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

>

> Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

>

> Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth stunned me. I'd

> never heard a more comforting explanation.

>

> He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life

> -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old

> continued,..... "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't

> have to stay as long."

>

[swede1]

pghermarykay,

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, Casey. Losing our beloved animal companions is excruciatingly hard, never mind when it's complicated by bad vet issues....I know, I had some myself when I lost my feline boy. I'm still stuck with having to use the same vet for our remaining furgirl (his sister) because she's the only holistic vet in our parts who has enough training in alternative areas, which I'm adamant about. Technically, she's very good, but she has little heart and is seldom available when we need her, as she's in such demand. We also have a distance vet, who's a homeopath, so doesn't need to see our girl ( we do appts. on the phone ), but we still need a local one, too, for exams, etc. I've made up my mind that should I EVER adopt another one later on, I will have a trusted vet in place FIRST before I'd even consider it. Interviews, research, talking to other clients...whatever I have to do to ease those fully justified fears. Unfortunately, there are a ton of bad vets out there, no matter where you are ( I talk to people all over Canada and the States about this ), so I feel it's up to us, their guardians, their moms and dads, to provide the best care we possibly can throught their too-short lives. I don't trust most of them, either, and have heard the most horrible horror stories of 'care', you wouldn't believe. A former vet of ours also could have and should have been sued by us for malpractise, she made such a stupid mistake with our boy, one that followed him the rest of his days and made our lives a living hell. So yes, it's a good and loving thing to consider carefully first.

[swede1]

I need advice because I need to keep it together for his sister. Please, can anyone help me?

Barbarab,

Yes, I had to do the same thing for my furboy's sister, who became not only anorexic after his passing, but was also diagnosed with early stage kidney 'failure'/insufficiency. What did I do? I grieved the heaviest grief of my life ( more than what I'm suffering now even after my Mother and brother died not too long ago ), as did his sister, but I also didn't want to lose my girl, either!, so focused on doing as much for her as I possibly could, including all research, etc, that I needed to learn for her conditions. I also found her a better vet than the one who 'handled' our boy's illness. She has now been with us for 5 more years and is 18, where her brother was only 13 when he left us. When you look at your boy's sister, try as much as you can to think "Life!" for her and allow her to sweep you away (as much as possible in your sorrow), with any games or poking around that she might want to do. They have an amazingly effective way of keeping us in the world when we'd rather just lay down and die ourselves. For me, my girl started pulling me back after a few months, when it warmed up and she could take me outside in our first spring without her brother. After about another month, she finally dragged me to one of our usual haunts, where we used to always go to romp in the tall grass, a place where I couldn't bring myself to go because our boy spent so much time there with us. It became a turning point for me and I realized I had to start thinking of living again, for HER sake, if not my own.

And although I hate to take people away from this site, I would still strongly suggest you visit LightningStrike's website, as you'll have more company there than you know what to do with, and more advise than you could imagine - it's ALWAYS very active. It's a site strictly for animal loss.

[sumaspikey]

It was reading barbarab's post that made me decide to write this: her situation is a bit like my own. I had only had my lovely cat for 18months, she belonged to a friend of mine before that, but he gave her to us (me and my boyfriend) and she became part of our family, we both loved her so much, she was our first pet, our baby. We had to move from our quiet cul de sac to a busy main road but I belived she was quite streetwise and she didn't go anywhere near the road. I came home from taking my friend's little boy to see the ducks last Sunday morning to find she had been hit by a car, so she is now buried in her favourite spot by the pond in our back garden. I feel like there's no point in anything any more, I can't eat, I only sleep because I'm so exhausted from crying constantly. I feel so guilty becuase before I left that Sunday morning, she was sitting on the front room window sill, outside, I called her in but she didn't come, I should have got her in, I shouldn't have left the house that morning. The only consolation I have is that she was a really happy cat while she was alive and I like to think that was down to me any my boyfriend and the love we gave her. How long am I going to feel like this for?

[care4u]

I never thought to write on this post because it was more than a year ago that I lost my cat. I seemed to go through one loss after another I had 4 cats pass on in 4 years. My heart broke every time. It never got easier. I had lost my children. But one night I had a visit while sleeping. I could feel energies moving all around me on my bed and then I felt energy curl up to my legs in a ball just like one of my cats use to do. I moved my hand down to my legs and could feel his fur. It was all so amazing to me, but at the time I thought I could pass it off as a dream. I now know it was my darlings visiting me. All of them. Letting me know they are ok. I still have one of the brothers and he lays in positions that his brother use to do. It is so neat that he can use his brothers body to show me signs. Animals are the best! I wish I had have been prepared for the visit because I sure would have spent alot more time with them. I think I will ask for another visit. I'm sure they will come back. So it goes to show you that just like people our sweet furry freinds continue to live lives in the spirit world.

[swede1]

Care4u,

So nice to see you in this forum! ( no, I haven't done my exercises yet - am in the middle of yet another crisis with my furgirl and can't concentrate ) But reading your post here does me wonders. Me and my furgirl got visits from my boy ( her brother ) after he passed, although yours 'tops' mine in the sense that you could actually FEEL your boy's fur! How very wonderful! I was pleased you mentioned one coming through, through your remaining furboy, as this has happened with our furgirl, too, with her brother 'making' her do things only he used to do. I figure it's either that, or they WANT to emulate them in some way, for whatever reason....but I simply prefer to believe it's the first thing. I lean that way because some of these behaviours were only done once, just for me to see, and also some of them were things that our furgirl didn't really LIKE to do before, though they were common to her brother's behaviour and were things HE like to do. It's very comforting, no matter how you look at it. And BTW, I'm so sorry you lost so many in such a short time, no less! I don't know how you survived that, as I was a basket case for 2 years, and it took 3 years to really start getting on with my life after I lost my boy...something I attribute mainly to my gal, as she really came to my aid, even though she grieved hard herself for many months. They are the biggest blessing we have upon this earth, as far as I'm concerned.

[emmagfunk03]

I'm new to this message board and I'm here because I don't know what to do or how to feel. I'm lucky because my cat hasn't passed away, but we think he is dying. Harley might be sick. The vet doesn't know what's wrong with him or if anything even is wrong with him. His bloodwork came back fine but he has a shadow in his stomach. They say he has a mass but they don't know whether it's cancer, a benign tumor, or even just a hairball. The vet says that even if he went in for exploratory surgery that our cat probably wouldn't make it out alive, especially if it happened to be cancer. He says that the mass may have spread to other organs and if this happened that the surgery would be pointless. My first thought was for us to go to another vet. But my dad just had surgery and has only been paid 40% of his normal paycheck while he's been out of work. We spent two weeks worth of money on this last visit. This is all made worse because I live about three hours away from my parents and can't be with him everyday. He's 11 and I expected him to live a lot longer. I'm trying to be positive but it's so hard when I don't know what's going on. Tuesday I came home and he was so skinny I could hardly recognize him. Thursday we discovered he liked turkey and he gained a considerable amount of weight - not to what he was before, but he looks better. But he didn't lay on my chest...or purr in my face. He layed on my stomach. I tried picking him up but he kept biting me...I think it hurts him. I don't know what to think anymore. I've been praying to God but I don't know what that will do. This just sucks. A lot. What do you do when something or someone you love is dying? What can you do? Should you pray? Should you be positive and deny it? Should you be negative and assume it? Should you wait things out? I'm trying to wait things out but that doesn't make things better. Then I just worry and assume, and hypothesize. I guess it's better than sudden death in some ways. I can try and prepare myself. But how can one prepare themselves for the death of a loved one? Then again, I don't even know if he's dying. It is hard and strange. I can never know what to expect or how to deal with it. I find myself crying all the time and thinking that my mom is about to call me at any time and tell me that he's died. I told him a million times over the past weekend how much I love him...but it wouldn't really console me if he died. I want to be there.

[care4u]

I'm new to this message board and I'm here because I don't know what to do or how to feel. I'm lucky because my cat hasn't passed away, but we think he is dying. Harley might be sick. The vet doesn't know what's wrong with him or if anything even is wrong with him. His bloodwork came back fine but he has a shadow in his stomach. They say he has a mass but they don't know whether it's cancer, a benign tumor, or even just a hairball. The vet says that even if he went in for exploratory surgery that our cat probably wouldn't make it out alive, especially if it happened to be cancer. He says that the mass may have spread to other organs and if this happened that the surgery would be pointless. My first thought was for us to go to another vet. But my dad just had surgery and has only been paid 40% of his normal paycheck while he's been out of work. We spent two weeks worth of money on this last visit. This is all made worse because I live about three hours away from my parents and can't be with him everyday. He's 11 and I expected him to live a lot longer. I'm trying to be positive but it's so hard when I don't know what's going on. Tuesday I came home and he was so skinny I could hardly recognize him. Thursday we discovered he liked turkey and he gained a considerable amount of weight - not to what he was before, but he looks better. But he didn't lay on my chest...or purr in my face. He layed on my stomach. I tried picking him up but he kept biting me...I think it hurts him. I don't know what to think anymore. I've been praying to God but I don't know what that will do. This just sucks. A lot. What do you do when something or someone you love is dying? What can you do? Should you pray? Should you be positive and deny it? Should you be negative and assume it? Should you wait things out? I'm trying to wait things out but that doesn't make things better. Then I just worry and assume, and hypothesize. I guess it's better than sudden death in some ways. I can try and prepare myself. But how can one prepare themselves for the death of a loved one? Then again, I don't even know if he's dying. It is hard and strange. I can never know what to expect or how to deal with it. I find myself crying all the time and thinking that my mom is about to call me at any time and tell me that he's died. I told him a million times over the past weekend how much I love him...but it wouldn't really console me if he died. I want to be there.

Hi emmagfunk03,

I feel very deeply for what you are going through. After the loss of my first cat, I use to break down if I called my other cats in from outside and they wouldn't come. Right away I would start crying, thinking they were gone. My boyfriend tried to do a nice gesture by getting me two more cats a year later. I immediatly began to cry(hiding it from him of course). I felt like I was replacing my pets on the other side and that they would think I no longer loved them. It was actually the loss of my pets that got me to start investigating exactly "what happens when we so called "die"". I can't tell you how much it helps to gain the knowledge of what happens after we pass. Just like us our pets go back to live in spirit. I don't want to make you upset though. Your much loved furry freind may still have lots of time left here. Just spend as much time with him as you can and if the day should happen to come, you will know that he knew you loved him and you will feel better. At least I hope you will. I have been there many times and it still hurts, even when you know they are happy on the other side, it still doesn't stop the pain of missing them. I wish your furry freind many more playful years with us and will be here to talk whenever you need to. Take care.

[care4u]

Hi swede1,

I'm glad to hear that you too had your loving furry ones show their existance through the brother still with you. I know it was my darling Harley because

Charlie who is still here never use to lie in this position. I noticed it right away. Right after Harley passed, he started doing it. In a way I think maybe the reason my babies chose to leave was because they knew it would help me to become more spiritual. It is so nice to talk about it. Nobody understood why I took my animals passing so hard. They do not look at animals the way I do. They are my children and have just as much personality t'boot. After getting so in touch with my spiritual side, I now look at there passing in a new light. I am still sad because I miss them, but I know they are safe. As for a year ago I would cry forever, even to look at a picture would do me in. I hated it when people would show up unexpected and I would be trying to choke back my tears. I think I was going into a depression. Here's some food for thought: now that I have gotten in touch with my spiritual side, I haven't been going through this repeated chain of losses anymore. "knock on wood" I believe they really came down just for a short period to help me get in touch with my personal spirituality. Aren't they just wonderful? It was nice to chat with you Swede1. Talk to you soon.

[kitanaangel49]

I too am new to this board. I lost my best friend Brandon , a Bichon Frise, he was 13. When I was diagnosed with lupus, and my then husb became emotionally vacant, It was Brandon that NEVER left my side. He was my rock.

I had him cremated and have his urn on my mantel with a Bichon angel on top of it.

I do have 2 more Bichons, and I love them dearly, but there will never be another Brandon....I cant wait to see him at the rainbow bridge and grab him and love him.......

He was my child.....

Hugs to a ll

[needinghelp]

i am new to this board and i lost Sandy...she was so important to me...i miss her so much

[steff143]

I just had to put my 13 year old dog to sleep yesterday and thought this site may help. I have used it bfore when my boyfriend of 10 years had passed. it almost seems as awful losing my dog. she was the sweetest doberman who ever lived. i know i am lucky to have had her for so long but i am so lost w/o her. comming home from work today was the worst because i knew she would not be there to meet me. thanks for letting me post.

Steff

[mycasey]

It will be one month tomorrow that we lost our Yorkie, Casey. He had had a heart attack at 5 am and by doing CPR, I brought him back. It was short lived however. He had another attack 12 hours later and passed away. I could not believe that 12 years was gone. It seemed too short. He was a gift from my husband at Christmas time when we were still dating. I fell in love the moment I saw him. He was and always be my little man. Although I understand the circle of life and I am not angry that he is gone, I feel tremendous guilt. He was my everything until I gave birth to triplets in 2002. My time was limited and consumed by \'three little dolls\'. I hope he understood that I still loved him but that they needed me more, kind of like he did when he was a puppy. We always took him when we went to my parents for dinner or a Bar BQ, and he would play in the back yard with us when we took the girls outside. Was it enough? I always talked to him and told him I loved him, with a scratch on the head. I need to get over this guilt. Sometimes I lie in bed and stare at his urn and cry. He was taken so fast. The only thing that does make me feel a bit better was that in those twelve hours between his attacks I gave him a bath, we took a nap together, I carried him around the house and before I jumped into the shower I told him how much I loved him and always did, though good times and bad. He passed away about ten minutes after I told him my love and gave him a kiss. Was he waiting for me to say it one more time? I hope so. God bless you Casey, forever my \'little manny man\', my \'little love\'.

[annietina220]

Hi All,

I lost both of my kitties who were brothers that I raised from

5 and a half weeks of age six months apart. Whiskey got killed by a neighbor's vicious dog who lied to me about it and then his bother Lacey

six months later when he was hit by a car.

I dream a lot about Lacey.

What does that mean?

Love,

Annie

[Guest Guest]

> He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life

> -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old

> continued,..... "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't

> have to stay as long."

>

Thanks for this, although I have been sitting here crying for my Sebastian. This touched my heart. I had to have him put to sleep yesterday. He was hit by a car and we were waiting to see if he would heal up within a week. Vet gave him 50/50 chance of regaining use of his hind legs. But he was not urinating and was very swollen. Since we were not sure he if would ever have body functions below the waist ever again, I decided not to operate on his badder..if that was what it was. This has been so hard for me. When my husband brought him home as a pup I didn't want another dog. I tried not to get close. But this dog just wedged his way into my heart little by little. I've never had a dog like that. He was so big, but gentle and playful, and loved to be hugged like a person. Anyway the part that hurts the most is not knowing if he would have pulled through..although my gut tells me no he wouldn't have and he would have suffered and been in pain for the rest of his life. Will this always haunt me? Everytime I close my eyes, I see his face looking so pitiful. I can't sleep.

[DeeAnn]

Dear Annie,

Maybe you just have Lacey on your mind a lot subconsciously, or maybe she's visiting you from the other side. Whatever the reason for her visits, I hope you're able to enjoy them.

Guest, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Sebastian. I had a 16-year-old dachshund that we had to have put to sleep shortly before my husband died, and it was very overwhelming. I hope you will be able to find peace about your decision which I'm sure was the kindest and most caring one you could have made for Sebastian.

Let us know how you're doing...

DeeAnn

[annietina220]

Thank you once again DeeAnn! :-)

I think it might be both.

I miss both of my babies so much and I know they are with Tina and Joey

but for some strange reason, it's always Lacey who appears in my dreams.

Guest,

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know your dog is with you always.

We are all here for you!

Love,

Annie

Lacey and Whiskey's Mama

Dear Annie,

Maybe you just have Lacey on your mind a lot subconsciously, or maybe she's visiting you from the other side. Whatever the reason for her visits, I hope you're able to enjoy them.

Guest, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Sebastian. I had a 16-year-old dachshund that we had to have put to sleep shortly before my husband died, and it was very overwhelming. I hope you will be able to find peace about your decision which I'm sure was the kindest and most caring one you could have made for Sebastian.

Let us know how you're doing...

DeeAnn

[mycasey]

Dear Guest,

I am sorry for the loss of your Sebastian. My Casey has been gone for almost seven weeks and it is still difficult. He was taken from us suddenly with a heart attack. What I did the day after Casey passed was write him a letter. I sat down (with a glass of wine) and just started to write. I ended up writing eight pages to him from the day I brought him home, the fun we had, who will all miss him etc. It was absolutely amazing how much I could write and not stop. You have so much love for your pet and it just flows out. I ended the letter with a kiss which I told Casey was for him until I get to heaven.

Sometimes you have to wonder if it is a good thing that they come into our lives, the intense pain we feel. But, close your eyes, and see your pet, and you know everyday was worth it.

I firmly believe we will see them again. Maybe at the \'Rainbow Bridge\', I don\'t know, but I know Casey is up there. There couldn\'t be a better guardian angel for me. In life and death he will always be my little man.

I hope this helps, even a little bit.

My Casey

[mamabets]

For DeeAnn- Just a note from one daschund lover to another... We have four of them, my daughter has one, plus a Bassett Hound. My Dean calls them our 16 feet- We adore them and they are all still with us, ages 8 through 13. I am an extremely fragile person and my son, Danny, passed away in June of 2004. I am panicked about the day when something could happen to one of our dogs...Do you have any other pets??xoxomamabets

[Guest Guest]

Hi my name is Linda and I lost my beloved guinea pig, granma on Jan 1, 2006. She was a wonderful little girl who I loved very very much. she was 6 years old and that is like old age for a piggie. She had been sick on and off for several months and this time she was ready to let go. I held her for the last 24 hours of her life.

I have cried buckets of tears, and more keep coming. She ahd a friend, Sandy who runs around the house, I think looking for her. I have 3 others, but they do not replace Grandma in my heart. I spoil my piggies very much. Some of my friends say I treat them better than I treat myself.

I made a memorial for her, where I keep her picture, her cage and light a candle, I can not bring myself to clean and take her cage out. When one loses a pet, or a least for me it brings up other losses I have had in my life, and I have had a lot. My mother is in the process of dying, and I feel very overwhelmed.

Hope to hear from someone soon, Linda

[mycasey]

Linda,

I am so sorry for your loss. It has been 8 weeks today since I lost my Yorkie, Casey. He was soooo sweet. It is hard to believe that I will never see those big beautiful eyes again, at least until I join him someday. I understand your pain. I understand you wanting to talk to someone. I am still waiting for someone to respond to my note, January 30th. You must know that even though you are in so much pain, your time with Grandma was worth it. You would never go back and live your life without her. You gave her love and she gave right back. There is no greater gift in life than love. It is sad that some people never have a pet and never experience the joy that we all know with having a pet. Dog, cat, guinea pig, rabbit, etc. They all give tremendous joy to each of us. Many people told me how sorry they were when I lost Casey but two stuck out. One person said love deeply, grieve deeply. Another said my grief is an indication of my love. These are both so true.

Take care and I hope today is better than yesterday.

Terri (aka My Casey)

[maskott]

Terri and Linda...I am truly sorry for both of your losses. I know the guilt that arises when a loved one dies (and that includes our pets). They have become a part of us. A psychic talked to me about my son (who died 6 months ago) and said that our cat was with him. She had died many years ago. So know that they are happy. We are the ones left behind to grieve. I know this doesn't always make the grieving easier. I cry daily for the loss of my son even though I know he is happy and at peace. I liked what Terri said...the harder you grieve means the more you loved. Granma must have been greatly loved and she couldn't have asked for a better owner. Take a little comfort in knowing that you gave her a wonderful life...and allow yourself time to cry. It's natural. I hope you find a little peace soon. My heart goes out to everyone that loses a pet.

BettyAnn

[mycasey]

Thank you for your kind words. I have talked to many people and they say guilt is normal. Why can I not get over my guilt? Why can I not let him rest? I have cried so many times tonight, I loved him so much. Twelve years have gone by soooooo fast. My parents bought me a huge frame that holds forty pictures. I am in the process of finding pictures of Casey when he was a puppy, an adult, with me, with my husband, my brother, his family, my parents, our girls etc. I am making a memorial/celebration of life collage for him. I am, if I can say so, quite a writer when it comes to the heart. I am composing a poem dedicated to him. He gave so much, it is the least I can do. Today has been a bad day. Why did he leave me so suddenly? I had no notice. If I could I would have had him stay with me until I left this earth, but I know that would have been impossible. We have no magic, no potions, no super powers. Our beloved pets just do not live as long as us, if only they could. I think of all the good times we had and although it does make me smile, it makes me cry. I always thought the vet would tell me that he was sick, give me some pain medication for him and I would have a few weeks to say good bye. Why did he leave so fast? He was so much a part of our family that he was mentioned in the birth announcemnt in the newspaper when our daughters were born. I was so busy when the girls were born (we had triplets in 2002) and afterward as they started to grow and my work, that I wonder did he know that I still desparately loved him? I would never change a day I had with him. Casey had many health concerns, but I do know that every night before bed time, when I let him outside and he came in, I would give him his medication, pat him and say 'good boy, good manny'. What a wonderful little man I was blessed with. I have to go. The realization that I have gone through Jan. and Feb. without him is overwhelming.

In our hearts forever,

Terri

[maskott]

Teri...in time you will get over the guilt and you will be able to let casey rest in peace. In time, the good memories will take over and they will fill your heart. It doesn't mean you will stop crying...you won't. The guilt will just vanish a little at a time. The memorial for casey is a terrific idea. When our dog, Rusty, died many years ago, my husband put his pill box (he was epileptic) and his bananda hanging from a picture of a golden retriever that we had hanging on our wall ever since we got him. That was our little memorial for Rusty. You do what feels right for you. Celebrating casey's life in pictures is a soothing gesture for you. Hoping you find some peace as you do this.

BettyAnn

[mycasey]

Betty Ann,

Again, thank you for your kind words. It is comforting to know that other people understand and know your pain. You yourself have gone through, what I would term as, unspeakable pain with the loss of your son. For that I am truly sorry. They say time heals all wounds but the memories will always stay strong. Sometimes though I think some pain will always stay. I do think of getting another dog but not for sometime. You can never replace your pet but there are so many to love, and they give so much back. To me life is a beautiful gift to be shared but sometimes even greater with a 'little love' (as I used to call Casey sometimes) by your side.

Terri

[gonedog]

I lost my German Shepherd of 16 years. Love you, Daisy.

[maskott]

gonedog...so sorry to hear about your loss. This is a good place to write about your feelings and to just "vent" when necessary. We had a white west highland terrier when I was growing up. The dog died after I married. To this day, I still expect to see him come running to the door when I come to visit. Keep the memories close to your heart. Read some of the old posts and maybe they will give you ideas on things you can do to help you through this time. I'm sure Daisy was a faithful friend and is missing you as much as you are missing her.

Mycasey...how are you doing?

BettyAnn

[Guest Guest]

My rani died last week in my arms- He was with me for 14 years and I love him more than anything. We made this short movie celebrating ranis life- please make sure your sond is up so you can hear the music- and also stay till the end of the credits. Its not just about Rani but about the love we get from our pet children - LOve Julia

http://www.chakralatte.com/ranilove.htm

[mycasey]

Betty Ann, It is true, time does help. Tomorrow will be 10 weeks since we lost Casey, which is so hard to believe. I have good and bad days. The hardest is when I look at one of his favorite spots to sit or take a nap and realize that I will never see him there again. A few tears usually follow. I am very sorry to hear of the losses of Daisy and Rani. Please know that other people know and understand your pain. It is not easy. As I stated in a previous post I am making a collage of pictures of Casey and wrote a four line poem to be placed with the pictures. "We were blessed to have you in our lives, You gave us so much joy, One can only smile and think, How sweet you must look now with wings." As Betty Ann said look at some previous posting for help with your grief as well as post here whenever you need. No one judges. We support. Take care to all, Terri (MyCasey)

[Guest Guest]

I'm new to this forum, but after the day I had today I went went looking for something like it. I had to to put my beloved Shih Tzu "Peaches" down today at the age of 16. She was a birthday present for my 9th birthday. I thought it would be easier on me, knowing she had a wonderful life, and lived to an old age. I am feeling so much pain right now, I feel like I've lost a child. Or a best friend I grew up with. I was hoping I'd wake up one moring and she would have died peacefully in the night. Instead I woke up this morning to a dog that was bleeding out of every opening in her body, and the cries of pain she was in. She went blind four years ago, and the only solice I can find in this, is that now my baby can see again. Everyone thinks I'm over reacting, my brother said "Come on Kacie, you knew it was bound to come, she was 16 afterall." I've never felt the pain of a loss like this before... is it normal? Thank You to all that have read this and allowed me to vent.

Kacie

[DeeAnn]

Kacie...

For those of us who love our pets so much, what you're feeling makes sense. Our pets sometimes seem to be the only ones that understand us. They are totally accepting of us and epitomize unconditional love. I've learned more from my pets over the years than I have from most people I've encountered.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, and please know that there are others who do understand. If you go to the search engine on our home page, you will find several articles about loss of a pet. Maybe some of that information could help you. Please take good care of yourself and let us know how things are going for you in the days ahead.

DeeAnn

[kacie24]

DeeAnn,

Thank You for the kind words. It's comforting to know that there are other people out there who understand how I'm feeling. At 25, I have not expierenced a death of someone so close. So I'm new to this. Peaches was 8 weeks old when she was given to me. She was my best friend and always knew when I was upset. She would start whinning if I was crying. It was a weird little connection. When I had my daughter 6 years ago, she didn't know what to think at first. Over time she knew she was not replaced. So as I'm going through my own stages of grief, I'm also helping my daughter comes to terms with a death of a friend she has always known. I buried her in a special place out in my backyard. My daughter and went to visit her yesterday, Emily (my daughter) left her some flowers. Over time I hope this becomes easier, since I have been crying for two days, I don't know how much more I can cry.But thank you DeeAnn for you words, just knowing other people care makes me feel a bit better.

Thank You,

Kacie

[DeeAnn]

Dear Kacie,

I relate more than you probably could know hon. When I was 41, my husband was 43, and he died of cancer. We knew he was terminally ill when Schotzi died only about four weeks before that at the age of 16 years. I understand that connection you speak of as well. When Schotzi saw Eddie after he came home from the hospital, he simply went to bed and grieved himself to death I believe. He knew Eddie was dying, I think.

Our pets are, indeed, so in tune with us, and they hold a place in our hearts that only they can fill. I think those people who don't love animals are missing out on *so* much! I'm glad you had so many years with Peaches, and I'm glad you're acknowledging and validating the grief Emily is feeling now. She probably learned life lessons from Peaches that will stay with her forever. Keep us updated on how things are going. Take care...

DeeAnn

[kacie24]

Dear DeeAnn and others,

While we are on the subject of animals grieving, I have another question about this whole process on my 10 year old Pekingese "Taffy." We got Taffy when she was just a puppy so she has never known life without her her best friend and "sister" Peaches. Taffy is moping and doesn't want to eat. She waits by the back door. I think, hoping Peaches will come back in from using the potty. Deep in my heart I think she knows Peaches is gone. I am a firm believer that an animal can die from a broken heart. Aside from spending more time with her how can I help my last remaining dog? If I were to lose her too, well, I can't even think about that. I really don't know how to handle a grieving dog. Any ideas would be greatly appericated. DeeAnn, I want to thank you so much for taking time away from your day and for helping me in this terrible time. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and your beloved "Schotzi." You must truly be a strong and remarkable woman.

Take Care, Kacie

P.S. Each day for me is getting easier, time does heal, I have faith in that!

[maskott]

Kacie...I'm sorry for the loss of Peaches. I read the post the day you submitted it but was hoping that someone who just lost a pet would answer you. It's been quite a few years since my dog "Rusty" died. For the most part, time does heal...it does take awhile. Everytime you come home, you expect your dog to come running to the door to see who it is. Taffy is definitely missing Peaches and is waiting for her to come back. I can only suggest what you mentioned and that is keeping her busy. When you see her missing Peaches, distract her with something. It's going to take her time also to grieve.

Just an added note: my son died in Aug. 2005. This week a woman my husband is acquainted with said she felt Matthew's presence when she was meditating.He had with him a cat and a dog. She asked if possibly the dog's name was Rusty. (which it was) She doesn't know our family well and would never have known that we had a cat and a dog many years ago. She says they are with Matthew. So, if you believe this...know that Peaches is with someone that you love.

BettyAnn

[mycasey]

Losing a pet is devestating. They are more than a pet, they are a family member. Tomorrow will be eleven weeks since we lost Casey and I can actually say that I have now gone a few days this week without crying. The pain is not so intense and reality has set in, he is never coming home. Casey was taken so fast from us (heartattack). I will never forget my little 7 pound ball of fur. He was so sweet. Take time to cry, you need to. And as I had said in a previous post, love deeply, grieve deeply and your grief is an expression of your love. Take care, Terri

[mycasey]

To all who have lost a pet - remember that you were blessed to have your little love in your life. You have grown because of loving such a sweet, unconditional friend. Even through all your tears remember the good times, when they made you laugh, and how good you felt when you were with them. If only they could stay with you through your entire life. How beautiful that would be. I love my Casey so much and I miss him. He will always be my little man, my pally pal, my little love. I don't know if I could ever give my heart away to another dog. He gave me so much joy but in the end so much pain. However, I would never have lived my life without him and I would not change a day. Today has not been a good day. I miss my dog. I love him and look forward to seeing him again and this time forever. Terri

[kacie24]

BettyAnn... I did some thinking after your post about someone up there taking care of my Peaches. Then it hit me like a bolt. My Aunt died last April and left her two prized un-housebroken yorkies that no one wanted. Not even her own children. My mother took them in. So in my mind my Aunt might be up there returning the favor and holding on to Peaches until I get there. That's a comforting thought. Also to Terri... you are probably in the same grieveing process I am. No one and nothing could ever replace Peaches, just like no one will replace Casey. We are left with huge holes in our heart.. but like I said each day is getting better. I am looking forward to the day I can think of Peaches fondly and our memories together and not cry. I'm not quite there yet. Thank you all,

Kacie

[mycasey]

Kacie24 - I am sometimes so busy that I do not get to the computer for a day or two and I apologize. Somedays being married, working part time, shopping and being a mom to triplet four year olds my time is stretched thin. I'm not sure how far you have read back previous postings but I'll tell you what I did. First I wrote Casey a letter. It turned out to be eight pages long. All about out times together, who will miss him, what he meant to us etc. It was actually very comforting to write out your feelings. You will be amazed on how you just can't stop writing. I am also in the process of making a collage in memory of Casey. It is a memorial with approx. 40 pictures but also a celebration of life. People he touched and who cared for him as well as pictures of himself. As a puppy, sitting by the flowers, in the snow in his red sweater etc. I also wrote a verse to him 'We were blessed to have you in our lives, You gave us so much joy, One can only smile and think, How sweet you must look now with wings' Casey December 17, 1993 - December 31, 2005. It will never bring him back but it will be placed on the wall in our new house for all to see. It is alos funny on how you talk about Yorkies as that was Casey. A seven pound ball of fur and 'hyper fire' somedays. He was so beautiful. Take care. Terri Also, Thank you Betty Ann for helping me through some tough days. Although I do not mean for this to sound bad, it is comforting to know that other people know what I am going through. Terri

[kacie24]

Terri.. Thank you for the advice, the collage sounds like a wonderful idea. Love your dogs name by the way *wink*! I wrote Peaches a letter before she was buried, and threw in in her grave, it did help. Not even a week has passed and now memories I haven't thought of in years are coming back to me. I know Peaches trusted me completely and now I'm feeling the guilt of having to make the decision to put her down. I kept telling her it was going to be alright. Then she was gone. I live in central Florida, two years ago Hurricane Charley blew through my town unexpectedly. We were not in it's path or at least that's what the forecasters said. With her being blind the last four years, noises scared her to death. As the eye of Charley blew through I took my daughter, and my two dog into the closet, Threw as many pillows over my daughter as I could and basically sat on her to keep her safe. I had Peaches in my arms shaking, scared to death, our roof was getting torn off and the ground felt like it was shaking. I finally held on to Peaches tight and yelled "It's ok, Mommy's got you all." She immediately stopped shaking and nestled herself down between some pillows. So she trusted me. She lived 16 years free of any sickness and the one morning I find her dying, I lied to her and told her it was all going to be ok. I'm so angry with having to make the decision to put her down. Not at her, at myself, I lied to her. What if she thought I was going to make her better, or keep her safe like I always did? Has anybody else experienced guilt in this way? Thank you all again. I'm just a stay at home mom with idle time on my hands right now, mourning the loss of a friend, and reading these forums is really the thing that is helping me most at this point.

Take Care and hug your furry friends tonight!

...Kacie

[maskott]

Terri...your welcome. Honestly...it helps me just as much to talk. The loss of a loved one is unbearable be it a pet or a son. Grief is grief.

Kacie...everyone feels guilty about something when a loved one dies. I had so much guilt when my son died that I sat in my minister's office and sobbed "I killed my son". He had a panic attack when I was away on vacation. He took too many muscle relaxers to ease the pain. My guilt was being away when he needed me. I now know that I shouldn't feel guilty. I did the best that I could as a mother but....at times I still do feel guilty and I know that I always will. You did what you had to do for a loved one...and if lying to her might have eased her last moments then you did a loving deed. I know Peaches isn't blaming you. I'm glad you could think of someone that Peaches can be with. I'm sure your aunt is more than happy to keep her until you get there to be with her. You might always feel the guilt to some degree...just don't let it overpower you...Peaches wouldn't want that.

BettyAnn

[kacie24]

Note to Terri... After my mother took in the two yorkies and they are as you put it "fire balls," she fell in love. Bubba is an AKC champion and weighs in at a hefty 2 pounds. The other one is Mikey, which is Bubba's son, but weighs in at 9 pounds. *Go figure*. There still is one she cannot stop from lifting his little leg on her suede furniture, but wouldn't give them up for anything, she just keeps cleaning it up. Glad you had such a wonderful time with Casey. Your short little poem made me cry. If it wasn't a Terri original I'd put it on Peaches gravestone. That's how I like to think of her... with wings and eyes that can see a rainbow.

BettyAnn.. you are right it is not your fault your son passed, but guilt is only natural. I cannot imagine a pain worse than outliving one of your children. What a strong woman you are, and God Bless You.

Take Care,

Kacie

[mycasey]

Kacie - yes, I like your name too! I am glad you wrote Peaches a letter and put it with her. The letter I wrote to Casey went with him when he was cremated so I know it is with him always. You talked about Peaches having wings and seeing again. Have you ever read the Rainbow Bridge? It is a page and a half verse and it is beautiful. It is too long for me to write. If you do not know it please find it and read it. Your vet probably has it. It will make you cry but comfort you at the same time. Good night, Terri

[feebeejava]

hello. i am new here. my feebee is my doggy. My husband gave her to me as a wedding gift and I had her for 7 years. I was the only person she really loved. on april 15, almost one year ago two pitt bulls attacked and killed her. just writing those words hurt my stomach. i saw the whole thing happen and there was not one thing i could do for her. i screamed and cried and yelled I love you and I am so sorry! I called my dad in hysterics and told him what was happening and he came up here to see what he could do. My husband came home from work and called 911. but by the time anyone got here it was too late. the pain of loosing her actually causes me physical pain. I relive it every day, for almost one year. I had 2 friends die last year too so last year just sucked. We buried her own my parents property and she has a head stone and I do visit her. I know that I could not have got those two huge pitts off of her but I just feel like she just wondered why I wasn't helping. I need to go. It's amazing how much you can love an animal. thanks, kari

[mycasey]

I am sorry for your loss of feebee. How truly terrible. I have been told the first 'anniversary' of their passing is the worst and then after it gets better. Casey has been gone over three months and most of the tears have stopped. I now catch myself thinking of something he would do and smile instead of breaking down in tears. One thing I have not been able to do is walk onto our deck. The snow has melted but I just can't look at is area, nor his little stairs off the deck to his area. Knowing that I will not see him run in the backyard again is difficult. It is true though, time does help ease the pain.

Terri

[feebeejava]

Thank you so much for your reply. I still have Feebees blanket, her fur is still on it, I sometimes close my eyes and rub on it. We have a different dog now and his name is Landry, and I call him Feebee at least two times a week. I still cry. I can't think about what I saw that day or I go crazy my stomach will turn flips. Boy I miss her. She was so spoiled and happy and she loved me so much and I had to watch her die. I kept waiting for someone to say she's fine she just needs to go to the vet. but that wasn't the case. I am dreading the 15th. thanks again, I feel better here, some people think I make way to much of her death, they say she is a pet not a person. kari

[mycasey]

Any person who says to you 'that she was just a pet' does not know the love and joy they bring us. That relationship that is unique for each person and sometimes words cannot describe your feelings towards your little love. Instead of feeling upset, feel sorry for them. They are missing out on something amazing.

Terri