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Loss of a child


mom2wasim

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Dear all i want to pay my respect to you all by offering my condolences to you for the loss of your beautiful angel's.. My heart kept breaking as i read some of the posts here and the sad story's of your loss's... Every person is unique, every loss is unique..... May God bless you all, may your children continue to shine all round you, sprinkle down from heaven there warmth and love.. Amen.

I loss my first born last year, he was 20years old.. The life i knew ended when i lost my son, my friends are not my friends any more because my life has changed forever, i became a differant person, a grieving mother.:(

 

Lifting you all in my prayers and holding you in my thoughts.

(((HUGS)))

Mom to Wasim

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4everjoeysmom

Hi Wasim's Mom,  Thank you for your sweet sentiments.  Most of us hang out on the "main threads", as these little mini threads become a bit much over time to try and keep up with.  When posting, instead of starting a new thread to engage in "general discussion", it's much easier just to "reply" to the existing thread...  that way your post will reach everyone who reads the major threads and won't get lost in the shuffle.  Hope that makes sense.

Look forward to getting to know you and Wasim better....  Blessings, Claudia

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I am writing this because I would like some in-put on how to help my very good friend. She lost her 16yr. old son in an accident on 6-2-08. He was the passenger and the driver was ejected but lived. Her son was wearing his seatbelt. I hurt for her so much:(. Our boys have grown up together since kindergarten. I don't know what to say to her when we are together. I don't know if I should just make small talk or bring up Evan and talk about him. When I have brought up her son she will start crying and  then I feel I just send her back steps because she tries to hide behind small talk. She won't show her pain in front of no-one. I see her slipping into a severe deppression but if you say anything about talking to someone then she won't talk to you and say yea maybe I need to. She has said if know one is around she just curls up into a fetal position and wants to shut out the world. What can I do or say to help her thru this. I know it will never go away and I know time will make it easier to cope with life. But please help guide me thru this process and then maybe I will know what to do and say to her. Thanks for any help and gudence.:?

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If it were me..I would gently hug her..and hold onto her for a lingering moment.

Be prepared..she might break down in a torrent of tears..and if she does.. let her cry as long as she needs to.

It doesn't matter how well you know someone..even if you were a complete stranger.

At times like these..holding someone brings comfort.

Don't worry about what to say.. your actions are more important right now.

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eVERYONE Is different but I just lost my son 6 weeks ago but for me talking about my son makes me cry but I want to talk about him.People walk on egg shells about talking about there loss love one but ask your friend if talking about her son is ok.I dont want the world to forget him.So for me I want to talk even though I cry but this is a good way of grieving.

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Like she said everyone is different. My son was stillborn and there were a lot of people who wouldn't talk about him or to me just because they were afraid it would bring it all back up and upset me. Most of the time it really helps to talk about them and its nice to be able to have someone to listen and to cry with. Don't feel guilty if she does start to cry because crying is good, she needs to let it out because its eating her up inside. Just be sure its not bad timing like you don't want to bring it all up right before work or while shes at work just use good judgement. I wouldn't try to say anything like time will heal or he's in a better place now because all she is thinking is it hurts now how can I think about the future without him and how she wants him here and its not fair. Just be sure to let her know that it is important for her to talk to somebody and that you are willing to be that person to listen. Good luck.

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I just wanted to write and check on everyone. I was wondering if you could write me and tell me one of the main things that have helped you cope with your loss. Maybe something you do, or something you've read, or maybe even a family member or friend that has done something for you. I was wanting to post a blog on my myspace with helpful advice on coping especially for those who are just experiencing a loss. So if you could please give me some ideas I would greatly appreciate it.

Amanda (Mother of an Angel Baby)

www. myspace. com/dedicatedtoourangelbabies

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Hi! I added you to myspace. I lost my 21 month old son 3 weeks ago. You asked what am I doing to help with the process of grief. Talking about it. I have talked about my son and talked about his illness and talked and talked about me missing him until my face goes blue. I know it's only been 3 weeks since Tanner died but what keeps me going is I know he is not sick anymore. I could not have lived with myself if we decided to keep him alive through the machines. I understand you had a still born child and I am sorry. Lossing a child is loosing a child. I grieve for you. I wish I could hug you. Feel free to post or myspace me.  Cassie

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Cassie, I'm glad you added my myspace page. I hope that you will be able to visit it and feel comfort. I'm so sorry about your son, I couldn't imagine losing my child after having spent 21 months with him. Our losses are different but so much the same, like you said losing a child is losing a child. If you don't mind me asking, what was wrong with your son? I'm really glad that you are able to talk about it because that is the most helpful thing i've done. Hope to hear from you soon.

Amanda (Mother of and Angel Baby)

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