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How do you do this exactly?


Seeking something

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Seeking something

My fiancé was killed in a car accident December 19th. I don't know how to do this. I feel like I need something but I don't know what. I am unravelling and lost.

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I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry you have had to join our club, the one none of us wish to belong to. I wish there was an easy answer to give you. You are only a few weeks in & still in shock. On January 18th it will be 1 year since I lost my boyfriend & I'm slipping back into that phase. Just try & be kind to yourself, sleep as often as you need to, cry as often as you need to & just let yourself feel. Post here whenever you need & even read the old posts, they have given me comfort when I've needed it. It's a difficult road but there are always people here to listen. Thoughts are with you.

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I am sorry to hear about your loss. Feb 20th will be a year since I lost my fiancé in a tragic snowmobile accident. One thing I can tell you is that as much as you seem like you cannot breathe, sleep or eat right now just take life minute by minute. At some point you will do hour by hour and then day by day. I came here just a week or so after his accident and I don't know where I would be today without the support of this site!

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I am so very sorry about your loss. I'm 5 1/2 months since the loss of my husband. You need to find ways to be kind to yourself. Try to find people who will just be there with you and listen. You don't need them to talk, just listen. This is a hard road you are on and there are people here who will listen so share as you are comfortable. Try to sleep, try to exercise and try to eat. Whatever you accomplish is enough as it's what you are able to do today.

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Hi seeking something

Sadly none of us know. Unravel but don't fall completely apart. The path is different for each of us. It is just over a year for me and only this lat month have I felt less aginised and falling down each day.

Reflect, face the feelings, cry, just keep thinking "as long as it takes, as long as I need to, but I want to get better somehow"

Don't look ahead, don't think about the future, just do what is in front of you now.

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I was reminded a number of times yesterday that one of the things we have trouble with is breathing. During my Tom's illness I used the Serenity Prayer as a mantra to calm me down during the panic attacks. One of the ICU nurses taught me some deep breathing techniques to add to that mantra. Neither of these remove the sadness but they do help me focus when I need to stop the panic. I try to breath deeply and slowly, air in through my nose and out through my mouth.

I pray you have some peaceful times as you work through your grief.

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Seeking something

Thank you for all your thoughtful and reassuring responses. I am sorry that I had to meet you here, but thankful that there are people that understand.

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Looks like everyone here already covered many of the same things I would say. Even the phrase that you have joined "our club" is somewhat accurate, even though it sounds horrible. We all understand what you are going through and are here to help in any way we can.

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