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proudarmywife509

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proudarmywife509

Hi everyone,

I keep having dreams about my dad, and everytime I do, I wake up bawling my eyes out.

I lost my dad 3 weeks ago suddenly in his sleep. We're still awaiting autopsy results to see what happened.

My dad was my best friend. He was a huge baseball fanatic (Detroit Tigers fan) and as I sit here watching them play now, I can still hear him yelling at the TV. My husband is in the Army, and we live in Louisiana, while my parents live in Michigan. We would sit on Yahoo Messenger and chat during the games.

When my husband and I first got back to Louisiana after the funeral and everything, the first game I watched on TV, I hopped on Yahoo IM to check if my dad was there yet. Then I realized that he wasn't. He was never going to be on Yahoo again.

I'm having a really hard time dealing with everything. I'm an only child, and even though I have my husband's support, he doesn't know what I'm going through. It's just so hard. =[

Kayte

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Dear Kayte

I so understand how you feel, I lost my Dad and best friend Monday July 21, just 7 days ago, we used to chat every morning before I went to work, I woke up the other day to see if he was online already...my heart crushed and I couldn't stop crying.  My sister lives very far away so it's just me who have to deal with everything alone so I understand you very well.  In my case I am 6 months pregnant of my first child so knowing my daddy won't meet my first child here is really taking a toll on me.

Sending all my love and support, keep writing as I have found out writing my feelings seems to help a little.

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proudarmywife509

Thank you so much for the reply. It gives me a little peace knowing that there are others out there who know what I'm going through.

It also hurts me that my dad will never get to meet his future grandchildren. =[

Thanks again for the reply. Keep your head up.

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Yes, it is very hard to lose your dad. I lost mine as a child; it affected my family a lot. We all missed him, but Mom was really hurt the most. Recently, the feelings have been dredged up again, because Mom passed away last week.  Some folks say it's good they are together, but I'd really rather they be together here, with me, instead of being in Heaven - maybe they are better off, but I'm not!

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[user=21052]lgoldenm[/user] wrote:

Yes, it is very hard to lose your dad. I lost mine as a child; it affected my family a lot. We all missed him, but Mom was really hurt the most. Recently, the feelings have been dredged up again, because Mom passed away last week.  Some folks say it's good they are together, but I'd really rather they be together here, with me, instead of being in Heaven - maybe they are better off, but I'm not!

I'm sorry about the loss of both of your parents.  I lost mum and I can't imagine losing dad as well.  He's my everything now, my pillar, my bestfriend, my mother as well.

I'm glad you decided to post it up here because we are all griefing over the loss of someone dear to us and hopefully you can relate to us! :)

Your parents are looking after you from above, remember this in heart.

Truly,

perfectfan

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Thanks, perfectfan! I am trying to feel "normal" after this loss, but as you know, it is not easy. Your family changes forever. I know that Mom or Dad would not not want me to mope around constantly, even though it is normal to feel sad and lonely some of the time.  Again, thanks for caring, and I hope all of us here can feel better.

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[user=21052]lgoldenm[/user] wrote:

Thanks, perfectfan! I am trying to feel "normal" after this loss, but as you know, it is not easy. Your family changes forever. I know that Mom or Dad would not not want me to mope around constantly, even though it is normal to feel sad and lonely some of the time.  Again, thanks for caring, and I hope all of us here can feel better.

lgoldemn,

i just want you to know that believe that you are strong enough to tide through this.  it's through adversity that our characters are shaped, losing both of your parents might seem a terrible blow. it feels as though the whole sky crumbled down, but in reality it's not - because of that experience, you are so much wiser and mature now.  and in reality, the sky, like your parents' love, will always act as a canopy, it'll always be there.  just like how your parents will be for you spiritually and emotionally, though sadly not emotionally.  i miss hugging and kissing mum :(  yknow, human beings need hugs regularly, been deprived of it sucks.  but all these has perhaps mould me into someone of a resilient character, at least i get through those obstacles i faced in life everyday telling myself "i can survive without my mum, there's nothing in this world i can't overcome".  :D

you dont have to force yourself to feel normal, when the time is ripe you will naturally get back to your daily routine plus i dont really believe in feeling "normal" again, i mean you lost your dear ones, the one who raised you up to be who you are today.  how could things be ever be the same again. people just don't understand, after the first few months, or even weeks, they think you should be back to "NORMAL", how i wish i could scream at them and say "hello, it's my mum we are talking about, how could life be ever perfect as before ever again?". 

but it's okay, at least coming here makes me no longer feel lonely.

i hope you are coping well :)

always,

perfectfan

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