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LOST MY MOM BUT FEEL TOO STRONG ITS STRANGE


sina27

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I lost mytmom on July 1, 2008 and have been too strong it seems strange.  She had a stroke, followed by a leg amputation and a few weeks before she passed we started praying for her release from pain and anguish.  My sisters and I were with her when she passed.  It feels strange that though I cried when we burried her, it seems I am in denial.  I do not feel sad, I feel gratitude for what she did in life and its just strange that I do not feel so sad like when my husband passed five years ago.  We had a very close relationship with my mom.  Is my reaction normal?  I am afraid that it will hit me few months down the line.  The main thought for me is that she is free from pain and suffering. 

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Kat_Clayton

I don't know what faith you are, but what I believe is that God has given you peace by preparing you and giving you the strength to realize that it was her time. My father just passed suddenly, and I feel oddly at peace. I still know that I need to see someone about it, because I feel like I should be hysterical, but I also feel that God has prepared me the past few months previously with such a strong faith and understanding of life that I can deal. It may be the same for you. It's worse to see a loved one suffer, and you know that she is now in a better place.

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I know what you mean my mom had tumors in her lung and brain and the last couple of months were so bad for my mom that she could not get out of bed at all and needed assistence to do everything. Its hard I know when she was alive I just wanted her pain to end but the selfish side of me did not want to let her go. Its such a mix of emotions. We all go through this in different ways. We have to be strong and believe that they are in a better place with no more suffering. I hope you are well.

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Thank you Stacy.  It is hard but I am taking it one day at a time.  I find it is hard to visit her grave.  Looking at her pictures on my computer makes it difficult. Somedays it feels as if she has gone somewhere and will be back.  However, I did not want her to continue suffering like she did.  It is sad to go home, knowing that she is not there but we have to cause Dad is all by himself. I have started a journal with the hope that it will help.  I miss my mom daily.  Keep well.

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sina27,

I tried to do the journal but everytime I started it I just found myself getting more frustrated. I was hoping that would work for me but it did not. I still have my moms email address on my computer and her cell number on my phone and her car is still in my drive way. I just can't bring myself to get rid of anything yet. I don't know why, but I feel like the minute I do that ts officially over. I took care of my mom, my dad just was not strong enough to do it. She was with me for 10 months and then she past away in feb. holding my hand. She went in such a peacefull way and for that I am gratefull. I miss her so much too that it hurts. I have a two yr old and I'm so sad that he will never truly know her. I have a hard time going to the cemetary also, I just brake down. I feel like life for a while is going to be bitter sweet because even if good things happen for me they would have been alot better if she was by my side. This truly sucks. I know that if I did not have this site to go to I would feel like I was only girl in the world going through this. Keep taking care of your dad and I hope the journaling works well for you. ((((HUGS))))

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Hi.  Stacy.  Good to hear from you.  I hope you are getting better and feeling stronger with time.  It seems the whole pain of loss is catching up with me.  I cried quite a lot last nite.   I just kept remembering how she was before she was sick and how she was by the time she passed.  I just wanted my mom as she has always been and the reality that she will never be here for me, was just too much.   I cried myself to sleep and even missed church this morning.  I feel sad for my dad, who is all by himself.  They were always together, and would have celebrated 54 years of marriage in December.  I lost my husband in 2003 when my twin kids were almost 10.  It was  the most painful period of my life, but by Grace of God we pulled throug.  Now its the pain of losing my mom and its a different and unique painful experience on its own.  I so much wish we did not have to lose our loved ones, but one of the books I read quite a lot after my husband's death said that "widows think the death of their spouse is the ultimate, and should prepare of other losses in future" and here I am.  The journal helped me quite a lot after my husband's passing, and  I still write in it from time to time.  I hope journaling will help me during this time as well.  I bought one for my dad, but he has not started yet.  Keep well and you remain in my prayers and thoughts.  One advise from the grief counsellor I saw in 2003, was that acknowledge your feelings and work on your grief.  Cry when you feel like and laugh when you feel like.  I am doing my best to recall all the good advise  and hope that you will also acknowledge your feelings and work on your grief.  Blessings to you and your family.

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