My Nicole

[nicolechristine]

Today is July 10th...my daughters birthday and the 5 month anniversary since she has been gone...

When i was 16 i had a baby...i lived with my sister and her husband at the time...she said they would help me with the baby so i could finish school...she was 17 when she had her first child and so knew what it was like to have a child at such a young age...when my daughter was 4 months old everything seemed to change..they (my sister & her husband) decided i couldn't be a good enough mom for my baby and took her from me...telling me she was being put up for adoption...then they kicked me out...

Every year that has gone by i celebrated her birthday...knowing that meant i was 1 year closer to begin my search for her...my sister and her husband committed suicide in Jan 2007....by December 2007 their son, my nephew, decided he was done keeping the secret he was made to keep from me all these years...he let me know that Nicole was actually given to his dad's brother and his wife to raise as their own...he had grown up with her...thanks to my nephew i was able to get in contact with her parents...they were under the assumption that i didn't want her and i abandoned her...when they heard what really happened they became very apologetic and insisted that we all start to get to know each other...they said it was very important for Nicole and I to be reunited...

Nicole and I talked everyday...on the phone...through email..text...messenger...she was very happy...she had great parents...they were doing an awesome job raising her...she was polite...respectful...loving...funny and full of life...it was hard to see her as a teenager..she seemed so grown up...her parents and i had developed a good relationship...they were good people who adored her...you could tell she was their life...

On Feb 9, 2008 Nicole and her Dad were on their way home from a Regional Spelling Competition she was in...she called me to tell me that she had won...she was very smart...i was so proud of her...the excitement in her voice was unforgettable...thats when it happened...while i was on the phone with her...out of no where all i heard was her scream and then nothing...it wasn't until a few hours later that i got a call from her mom...she let me know Nicole and her father were in a car accident...she said it was a bad one...her father had died on the way to the hospital...and Nicole was in surgery....I spent the rest of that night  so stressed and panicked that i exhausted myself and finally fell asleep...it was 12:45 am as i looked at the clock and hear the phone ring...i answered it...knowing it had to be her Mom....i remember her talking...but i don't remember what she said except for the part where she told me that they had worked on her for nearly 5 hours...and that she didn't make it....Feb 10, 2008 @ 12:17am my Nicole was taken from me once more...this time permanatly...