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constant reminder while at work


cindyjane

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It's been almost 3 months since my mom passed away after being in the hospital where I work. She went in for a gall bladder surgery and 6 weeks later was gone. Although I work on a different unit of the hospital I am reminded of those 6 difficult weeks every time I park my car in the parking lot, every time I walk through the door to go into work, every time I walk the hallways to other units to get supplies. My days at work are filled with thoughts of my mom's last 6 weeks of her life in that hospital. I have taken some time off work after her passing but those thoughts stay with me any time I am working. I love my job at the hospital but some days I dread going to work because of those difficult memories. Gratefully I am off later this month for 4 weeks so hopefully things will get better after that time away from that building.

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I'm sorry for your loss. I had the same reminders. I worked in a nephrology clinic and many of our patients were elderly and on dialysis. So many of them reminded my of Andy as he struggled near the end. I was going to take early retirement to take care of him then when he passed I found I couldn't focus and couldn't do my job as well as I felt I should so I opted to keep my retirement date. I know not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to retire early.

I hope you find an option that brings you some peace.

K

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Thanks so much for your responses, much appreciated. I am also sorry for your losses. It's never easy. I still have 4 years left to work which seems like a long time the way I feel about going there. This is still pretty fresh in my mind and I am hoping that as time goes on the heaviness in my heart lightens. Take care and thanks again.

Cindy

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I completely understand Cindy. I am at my mom´s home, totally on my own, and everything reminds me of her. I was supposed to have a nice holiday, as I live overseas, but it has been a nightmare. Anyway, I went to the clinic where my mom passed away yesterday, and I couldn´t help but feel miserable once again. It brought back all the memories from the last two weeks of her life, the dread of going to her room and seeing her in pain. It was like reliving the nightmare, so I could not imagine working in a place like that.

Fortunately, you don´t work in the same wing or department, and only have 4 years left. That´s such a wonderful thing, and something to really look forward to, retirement, no more stress and worry caused by work, which adds up to the grief and makes it insurmountable at times. I know 4 years seem like an awful lot of time, but they are not, they will pass pretty fast, particularly if you are very busy every day.

Anyhow, I´m really sorry for your loss, and if you ever need to talk, I´m here for you. I know what you are going through and how you feel, as I am experiencing a similar situation. It was my mom and very best friend who I lost, and I miss her every second of every single day.

Warm regards,

Trish

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Hi Trish and thanks for your comforting words.  Yes, the way time is going by so fast, my 4 years until retirement will have wings.  I am sorry for your loss as well and that you have many reminders of the tough times during your mom's last couple of weeks.  I am trying to just be grateful that I could be there with my mom as much as I was in those weeks.  Like you, I miss my mom so much but that just confirms the love we have for our dear mothers.  We were blessed!  thanks again

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Hi Cindyjane, I'm relatively new here but I wanted to stop and comment here. The idea that you are going through your grief with constant reminders like you have being in the same building seems overwhelming to me. My mom passed 28 days ago, she was in another town but even the week that I spent cleaning out her assisted living unit were difficult and I was definitely in the shock stage so I can't imagine what it must be like for you now, in the raw emotion stage. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you find some peace during your time off.

 

Strange times when your parent goes. One minute you're totally fine and the next you're off into another world. I know that people likely say it a million times to you but be well, take care of you, be patient with yourself and peace. 

 

Dawn

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