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Aged 31 and both parents gone.


just

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Hi there.

I lost both my parents to cancer over the past two years. They were 59 and 64 and there was never a break. Mam died and then Dad was sick. Dad is only gone five months. I was extremely close to both of them. I'm not doing very well about it. It's just my younger sister and I now. It breaks my heart that ww don't have them or even a home anymore. My mam's family pretty much abandoned us after she died. I know I am grieving for them too. I guess I am just looking for some words of support. Thank you.

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Guest Kirbibizzle

Dear Just,

 

Everyone is here for you. Though you might not feel that way right now, I'm sure you will see that many people are feeling the same as you right about now.

 

I lost my father a week ago, and my mother isn't in very good health and probably doesn't have much time left either, sadly to say. If, and when that time comes, all the pain that I've felt losing my father will start all over again. The only good thing I can say that has come from all of this is that you don't have to lose your parents again, you've already suffered such a huge tragedy for hopefully the last time in a long, long while.

 

I am glad that you at least have someone to rely on, your sister. No one should have to go through something like this alone. Though I, myself, actually have preferred living alone with my dad for a few years now, it's probably not the most healthy of things to do to yourself. Isolation can lead to all your emotions getting bottled up with no where to go.

 

I can relate to the whole family abandonment issue, too. My father's family members act like this is just normal for someone to die suddenly, and shrug it off and go on with their lives. I'm basically through with them at this point, if they don't care about how I'm doing after this then I shouldn't feel the need to do the same. Your parents would have wanted you to be happy, not miserable. If it makes you at least an ounce happier then you shouldn't regret cutting toxic relationships out of your life. 

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I am only 26 and lost both my parents, my dad died when I was 18 from brain cancer, he passed 4 days before christmas, he was only 55 and as strange as it may sound my mom also passed at the age of 55, she just recently passed on Janruary 29th of this year from copd. she was put on hospice and just barely two weeks after this is when she passed. Its hard to lose both parents, especially when they weren't very old, they were taken too soon.

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That is tough.  My husband (along with my 17 year old daughter) died when he was 45 leaving my son without a father.  My son was really close to his father.  I see how difficult it is for him. 

 

Really do feel for you.

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johndoe109

I dont know how y'all do it .  MY mother passed away in feb and it is rough

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I'm sorry about your loss.  I can sympathize with a family that seems to have abandoned you after the loss of their brother/sister.  It's rough.  You don't realize that your parent was the one holding that group together.  I recently lost my father to a stroke and it's the hardest, most painful thing I have ever felt.  I, too, feel like I know longer have a place to call "home".  I just hope that you can find comfort and peace knowing that you have your sister to lean on during this tragic time.

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Thank you for posting this, as I didn't realize there would be so many others in a similar situation.

My mother died when I was a kid, and my dad died in May 2015. The constant feeling of being a 'lone wolf' is hard to deal with, and I find it's very hard to relate to people whose families are still intact. (Note: I have a biological sister. We were never close to begin with, and she's basically a terrible person. We haven't talked in 10 years and I don't miss her.)

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that have helped? I would like to stay active on this thread. Maybe we can all help each other. <3

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Hey There, 

I'm 32 and lost both parents 2 weeks apart from one another May 2018. One was sick, the other was sudden (broken heart, perhaps?)

the loneliness is real. 

Just when I think I'm having an "ok" day, something triggers me and I become an emotional mess. They say to hold onto the memories we had with our loved ones, but those memories make me sad because that's all I have now.

It feels so strange to be a young adult without parents that I find myself angry and jealous of friends who get to spend time with their parents & grandparents because I don't have that anymore and no one understands because they haven't got a clue what it's like to be in my shoes. 

Life is hard and very cruel, but I guess we are not alone in this journey...

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Dear Sonia,

I am very sorry for your loss.

Please know we are with you. I agree with you completely life is very hard and so unfair.

I hope you will consider talking to a grief counsellor or joining a support group in the community. I also found these websites helpful in understanding my loss:

What's Your Grief

Grief in Common

GriefShare

Tiny Buddha

Grief Healing Blog

Facebook also has a lot of support groups for loss of parents.

Thinking of you.

 

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