Loss of an adult child

[kathleen24]

I have tried to search this site for anyone who has lost a stepchild.  Kyle, my stepson, was 28 when he died of leukemia on January 28th.  I became Kyle's stepmom when he was very young and it was a very difficult transition for everyone, especially Kyle.  He was so conflicted between love between his parents and love for me.  He felt pulled in so many directions and, most unfortunately, was a constant tug-toy for his biological parents.   He was devastated when his father and I divorced, and was in those "terrible teens" and his were extremely difficult and terrible.  We lost contact for several years, and I vowed never to put him in the position of being put in a situation he was not ready for.  Just 3 months before he was diagnosed with AML, we "found" each other through my niece on MY SPACE...

I will always be grateful for those times, talks, and love the we exchanged and for the peace we made for those difficult times.

I remain devastated by his loss.  He sufferred more than anyone ever should and I became convinced that there should be limits to the "wonders of modern  medicine" at a certain point. 

I spent most of the last month of his life with him and after over 20 years, his mother and I became good friends.  She asked me to deliver his eulogy, an honor I will never forget. 

I am very interested in talking with other step parents who have lost step children, or with any one who may be able to offer insight or to listen. 

Thanks