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How to help family member dealing with double loss


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Dear all,

I am at a loss as to what to do and am seeking advice from this group.

A few months ago my uncle, to whom I was rather close, passed away. I recently moved far away from my family and as such did not attend the funeral. I wrote a long letter to my aunt and we decided we would get together when I visited over the holidays. However, just last week, my aunt's mother passed away as well. A few days ago I contacted my aunt to see if she wanted to get together while I was home. She said she didn't know yet, as she was in a bad place and I remind her too vividly of my uncle.

I want to do the right thing and show my aunt as much love, support and understanding as possible without being invasive. Although seeing her would allow me to move toward closure with my uncle's death, I am more concerned about her well-being, and letting her know how much I care. I know that sometimes those who are grieving want others to step in, but I don't want to overstep either. Should I insist about getting together? Let it go? Drop off groceries with or without asking if I can stop by?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Many, many thanks in advance.

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