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Recovering from loss


iamafish

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This past June my sister was killed. That morning I saw her, happy and well, then 14 hours later in the morgue.

The next few weeks we had many family and friends visit and the sympathy that our community showed was truly touching. But of course everyone soon returned to their lives and everything seemed to become normal again.

Anne's death is a loss which I could never have imagined. We had grown from bickering children to become very close as adults. She was the closest and most important important person in my life, and I can never recover the love and support she gave me.

Many people have told me that time heals all and assured me that someday happiness will return. 6 months later it's true that the crying has mostly stopped, but in other ways it's worse than ever. Crying felt fulfilling because I was expressing my love for her. Now she's just gone.

Things that I used to enjoy don't make me happy anymore. I enjoy seeing my friends but I find the initiative to call them up less and less frequently. Although I'm not thinking about Anne all the time I find it hard to focus so my work and relationships are suffering. Every day I go through the motions of living a normal life but can't shake the feeling that I'm a fraud.

Perhaps I need to let go in order to move forward, but I don't want to let go.

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Iamafish, I am very sorry about the loss of your sister. If you are up to it, do you want to share what happened? When my brother died, I had been talking with him just a few hours earlier, and then--he was gone. It was just so mind shocking. At first I was able to function normally, but then I felt like I was living some weird movie-like life. That soon changed to a dull ache. When you say you need to let go in order to move forward--what do you need to let go? Your emotions? Just know we will be here to support and encourage you. --ModKonnie

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My sister and her friend went out on a shopping trip and the building next door, which was under demolition, collapsed on the store that they were in.

When I made my previous post I was very upset and I don't like to take such a negative view.

The truth is that I do have a strong support network of family and friends but sometimes I think I don't think I know how to use it.

Maybe 'letting go' is the wrong way to put it. Of course I want to always remember my sister.

The problem is that I'm constantly distracted. Half of my brain is always thinking about her and what happened instead of the task at hand.

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