Sorry I am new to this

[Steve s mom]

I just found this site recently .i lost my son Stephen 2 years ago 11-14.he was 29 .he died suddenly and unexpectedly and I still can't understand why.it seems like yesterday he was here with me .i still think this is all some bad dream and he will wake me up at 5am to go out to breakfast .like he always did and it made me so mad.i always used to tell him it,s too early ,leave me alone till later.now god I wish he would just come back and do that again.i didn't realize what a wonderful treasure he was then. I always thought there would be tomorrow ,now there are none.

Even tho he was grown he was still very much mommies boy.he was finishing up his degree in college so he lived at home untill just a month before he died.he would help me take care of his grand mom my mother who lived with us.he helped me with animal rescue work I did.he spent every weekend even his last day getting up early and helping me take cats to the clinic ,most boys his age were sleeping in...

I saw him everyday even after he moved out only a few miles away.he called me constantly sometimes for nothing just to say I love you.i can't tell you how many times I told him don't call me now I,m working or busy ...I,ll call you later.now I wish so much that phone would ring.he always said I love you every time he said goodbye on the phone or anytime he was leaving.i wish I,d done the same

It seems he somehow always knew his days here would be short and he wanted to be sure to always part on a good note.ever since he was little when we talked about his future he,d always say I,m not going to love to be 40. I,d just laugh and tell him he was silly.on his 29 th birthday we didn't do anything really special ,we planned to all go away ome where nice for his 30 th next year.he said that day kind of sadly

I won't be here on my 30th birthday. I said why are you going some where with your friends instead without me.

He didn't answer .at the time I just brushed it off.a few weeks before he died he said jokingly like he always did ,he was a big jokester always made me laugh.when I die donate my organs to someone who will make better use of them.i laughed.i would soon realize how not funny that statement would become

He never seemed sad. When he talked of death seemed like it never bothered him or that it was ok with him.a few weeks later he helped me with the kitties in the morning then we would often go out to breakfast or shopping or something for a while that day he said he didn't feel well and just wanted to go home.so I dropped him off and told him to call me later incase he felt better and wanted to eat dinner or needed anything.he just had a cold it seemed for a week or so he was coughing said he was short go breath off and on and that his chest hurt from coughing he said .he wouldn't go to the doctor he took I guess way too much OTC cough medicine instead.i tod him to go to the doctor I told him tomorrow Monday I was taking him.that was Sunday that evening he called and asked if I could drop off something from a fast food place for dinner for him.so I did,he said he was just going to stay home and rest and I was going to pick him up the next day Monday am as I always did because I was off on Monday's.when I left him I told him to go lay down and I would call him on my way to get him on the morning.i think I said I love you back when he said he loved me.i so hope I did.those were the last words he ever said to me.

I awoke at 1 or 2am to the police banging on my door...they said my son was in critical condition in a hospital and I needed to go right away.i was surprised when they said what hospitality was not near us not the local one.it was in n j near where he went to college,I found that very strange.

When we got there we went to where he was in the trauma icu.they said he had a cardiac arrest and the met shocked him back,but they were not called right away and that he may have been down for an unknown mount of time.so his brain was without oxygen and swelling and they were doing everything to help him recover,they were a good specialed neuro trama center using the latest treatment to help him

That was 11-6 .i sat by his bedside from then for 8 days untill he finally was declared brain dead on 11-14

Some of the days he seemed to do better I had a few imes I could talk to him and I know he heard he responded minimally sometimes we thought he was getting better...but he didn't

On nov 14 he was declared dead though his heart was still beating and the machine made his lungs breathe. He was gone.we donated his organs as he wanted...tho I don't think anyone better could have gotten them.i often wonder is that why he died did god need him to die to save the lives of others who needed to live instead of him.he was my only son my only child.the only family we had left the only hope for the future of both our families gone.he never had the chance to have children yet both my husband and my IDE of the family lost the last heir to their name.my mother died a few weeks after him she was 83 and had nothing to live for without him.my father died of cancer ,my sister died a few years before we had none but him ...my beautiful baby why did god take him away from me.

[DeeDee624]

I am so very sorry for your loss of your precious son and I most definitely feel your pain. I lost my healthy 27 year old daughter suddenly on 8-4-13, 8 days before her 28th birthday. No real explanation for why her heart stopped-- cardiac arrhythmia was suggested. Amy was my youngest and the joy of my life. I miss her more and more each day. She, too, lived at home and loved to go out for breakfast on the weekends. Oh, how I wish I could turn back time for all of us... keep posting. We all understand.

[shellykut]

Steve's Mom - I read your heartbreaking story...that of your dear son and how you lost him. My heart and prayers to you, I am so sorry for your loss. May I suggest you post in the Loss of an Adult Child on this website. There are many there who will listen and grieve with you, as they have lost a precious child also. I am from PA also and lost my daughter at the age of 29. She battled leukemia for 11 months. This is the hardest and most unnatural thing a parent can go through. Please continue to post on the Adult Child thread of this website and tell us of your Steve. We will share your burden.

[shorty16]

Steve's Mom,

We have all asked the same question. "Why did God take my son, Brian." The silence is deafening. Our 16 year old son, Brian died 6-19-2008. Brian and his 2 friends were screwing around on a vehicle. Brian died, the other 2 boys walked away.

There is no sense to be made from this. A cosmic shift of our kids becoming angels before us. Please know you are not alone in your grief. Keeping busy with your passion for helping animals will help you in so many ways.

Please join us and tell us about your son, Steven. We will listen and cry with you.

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4 ever

[Jeff's Mom]

Holding you close. We are here to hold you up. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can relate to all that you are feeling. You are not alone in this....We know how hard this is. Love, Kate

[wgreenlee]

Maryann...

I am sorry for your pain and loss. We all feel that tremendous void and your words are so true. It is good to let it all out. We will be here for you to talk with...encourage...and just show our support. I know so well, now, that pain too. I also lost my only child a few months ago. I also will have nobody to continue my name, but I do have so many amazing memories of my son, Brooks, that I will treasure and relive every day. It's so hard to fathom life without our only child...so many dreams and hopes. Now I must live his life through me...every day I will try to make him proud of me...I want to let his many friends know that he is with them as well so that his name will always be close to their hearts. He had so...so many friends who came to pay tribute to him. I found that he did so many things for others that I just wasn't aware of...and now I hold those stories and memories so close. His name will live on even though he will never marry or have children...but he will live on in the hearts and minds of everyone that knew him. I know your son will have the same effect. He will not be forgotten. Steve sounds so much like Brooks. I can't remember when he was ever mad or had a harsh word for others. I don't know why God took him so early in life...but I believe with all my faith that God did, indeed, take him for reasons only known to the Lord...and now he is truly in a place that I can't wait to get to...to let him know how much he was missed and loved...but also a place where we will never ever be apart. I must believe that because I miss him so much and want to be with him.

I am sad you had to find this place...but hopeful you will continue to come and share. We will listen unconditionally and share this journey together.

Wade