Members Steve s mom Posted December 1, 2013 Members Report Share Posted December 1, 2013 I just found this site recently .i lost my son Stephen 2 years ago 11-14.he was 29 .he died suddenly and unexpectedly and I still can't understand why.it seems like yesterday he was here with me .i still think this is all some bad dream and he will wake me up at 5am to go out to breakfast .like he always did and it made me so mad.i always used to tell him it,s too early ,leave me alone till later.now god I wish he would just come back and do that again.i didn't realize what a wonderful treasure he was then. I always thought there would be tomorrow ,now there are none.Even tho he was grown he was still very much mommies boy.he was finishing up his degree in college so he lived at home untill just a month before he died.he would help me take care of his grand mom my mother who lived with us.he helped me with animal rescue work I did.he spent every weekend even his last day getting up early and helping me take cats to the clinic ,most boys his age were sleeping in...I saw him everyday even after he moved out only a few miles away.he called me constantly sometimes for nothing just to say I love you.i can't tell you how many times I told him don't call me now I,m working or busy ...I,ll call you later.now I wish so much that phone would ring.he always said I love you every time he said goodbye on the phone or anytime he was leaving.i wish I,d done the same It seems he somehow always knew his days here would be short and he wanted to be sure to always part on a good note.ever since he was little when we talked about his future he,d always say I,m not going to love to be 40. I,d just laugh and tell him he was silly.on his 29 th birthday we didn't do anything really special ,we planned to all go away ome where nice for his 30 th next year.he said that day kind of sadlyI won't be here on my 30th birthday. I said why are you going some where with your friends instead without me.He didn't answer .at the time I just brushed it off.a few weeks before he died he said jokingly like he always did ,he was a big jokester always made me laugh.when I die donate my organs to someone who will make better use of them.i laughed.i would soon realize how not funny that statement would becomeHe never seemed sad. When he talked of death seemed like it never bothered him or that it was ok with him.a few weeks later he helped me with the kitties in the morning then we would often go out to breakfast or shopping or something for a while that day he said he didn't feel well and just wanted to go home.so I dropped him off and told him to call me later incase he felt better and wanted to eat dinner or needed anything.he just had a cold it seemed for a week or so he was coughing said he was short go breath off and on and that his chest hurt from coughing he said .he wouldn't go to the doctor he took I guess way too much OTC cough medicine instead.i tod him to go to the doctor I told him tomorrow Monday I was taking him.that was Sunday that evening he called and asked if I could drop off something from a fast food place for dinner for him.so I did,he said he was just going to stay home and rest and I was going to pick him up the next day Monday am as I always did because I was off on Monday's.when I left him I told him to go lay down and I would call him on my way to get him on the morning.i think I said I love you back when he said he loved me.i so hope I did.those were the last words he ever said to me.I awoke at 1 or 2am to the police banging on my door...they said my son was in critical condition in a hospital and I needed to go right away.i was surprised when they said what hospitality was not near us not the local one.it was in n j near where he went to college,I found that very strange.When we got there we went to where he was in the trauma icu.they said he had a cardiac arrest and the met shocked him back,but they were not called right away and that he may have been down for an unknown mount of time.so his brain was without oxygen and swelling and they were doing everything to help him recover,they were a good specialed neuro trama center using the latest treatment to help himThat was 11-6 .i sat by his bedside from then for 8 days untill he finally was declared brain dead on 11-14Some of the days he seemed to do better I had a few imes I could talk to him and I know he heard he responded minimally sometimes we thought he was getting better...but he didn'tOn nov 14 he was declared dead though his heart was still beating and the machine made his lungs breathe. He was gone.we donated his organs as he wanted...tho I don't think anyone better could have gotten them.i often wonder is that why he died did god need him to die to save the lives of others who needed to live instead of him.he was my only son my only child.the only family we had left the only hope for the future of both our families gone.he never had the chance to have children yet both my husband and my IDE of the family lost the last heir to their name.my mother died a few weeks after him she was 83 and had nothing to live for without him.my father died of cancer ,my sister died a few years before we had none but him ...my beautiful baby why did god take him away from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.