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Today it hurt...


gambitjr

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Thanksgiving...one of my favorite holidays. The pain of loss was severe today. Felt the lowest I have felt in the last 7 months. Tears flowing and it hurt so bad in the depths of my soul. Did not know who or where to turn. Just sat in the middle of the madness, and couldn't find my way to any consolation. Is this the path I must walk for the rest of my life? If it is, is it really worth it. It's only been 7 months, but I am so tired and worn down. Feel disillusioned about alot of things that I held dear for so many years. Pills, sleeping aids, therapy...oh God I have just started walking this road and I am worn out. I pray, but I feel I don't get answers. I have questions that I think there are no answers to. Lost my daughter 7 months ago...the pain and feelings of loss just never, ever, stop. Thanks for listening and having somewhere to vent. God bless you on your path.

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Yep, Thanksgiving is hard. This is my 3rd since I lost my 5 year old daughter Charlotte suddenly. Really any special day is hard but I think Thanksgiving is really hard because it's always spent with family and because you're supposed to sit around and think about how thankful you are. It's hard to feel thankful when you feel like everything has been taken away from you. Your loss is still so new. The first year or so it's just about getting through. Then slowly, you are able to still find things to be thankful for. Be good to yourself.

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I agree that the first couple of years are the hardest... as you try to adjust to a life without your child. I can only say that if you have supports in place then use everything that you can to help you through this very difficult period. Special occasions are always the most difficult as you are lost in past memories and traditions. Eventually over a period of time...and we are all different in this...we slowly begin to rebuild our life again. It is different for each one of us, but we do start to find happiness again. It comes in little ways at the beginning... and then eventually you are able to carry this burden of loss while you carry on with your life. Angela is right in that you must make a huge effort in trying to take good care of yourself. I know the interest is not there right now... but it is important to try to stay healthy and fit. Thinking of you. Kate

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Thanksgiving was not so bad for us, but Christmas coming, it is ripping me apart. Our 3rd Christmas without him.

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It is so hard for me to believe that Lori is not here. I keep asking why, and I get no answers. It feels like someone tore my soul in half, crushed my spirit, and reduced me to a pile of rubble. I just want my daughter back. Maybe I didn't do things right the first time. Maybe she didn't do things right the first time. Everyone gets a second chance. I keep finding myself wanting to bust something. This is so not fair. This is such a hopeless feeling I have everyday. The tears never help, nor do they wash away the pain. Pain, anger, hopelessness, frustration, guilt...they are my new friends because I can depend on them being there everyday. Feels like this will never end. I am just so heartbroken.

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Yes, I know how much it hurts. I can't explain why this happens to good people. Please consider joining us on the Loss of Adult site. We are all walking this road together. You do not have to be alone in your loss. This time of year can spark many triggers that make the pain seem unbearable. Talking to others o this same journey can give you an immense sense of comfort. I am thinking of you and hoping you will consider. Love, Kate

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Albert...

I know the feeling. Every day starts and ends with thoughts of your child. It's ok to let it out. Wish I could say something to make it better. Don't know myself. But what I do know is that coming onto this site does help. You can just let it all out...and there are wonderful people to help. I hope they are all right about the pain being less eventually, but right now it's not. Like Kate said we would love to listen and offer words of encouragement on the "loss of adult child" forum. Certainly has helped me...although I'm sitting here early in the morning and can't sleep again. But I made it through another day and who knows what tomorrow will bring...loss and pain for my son...and you for your beautiful daughter, but if we look around there are things to make us smile too.

Will be praying for you...Wade

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