Members terri251 Posted November 27, 2013 Members Report Share Posted November 27, 2013 My fiance passed away two weeks ago today. I woke up one day went to work and went home to find out he was taken to the hospital in a amubulance. By the time I made it to the hospital they were preparing him for surgery. He had bleeding in the brain, eventually found out he had a brain tumor that exploded in his head which caused a massive stroke. After a few days of praying and hoping he was declared brain dead. My heart is broken into so many pieces. I honestly don't know what to do. We a 19 month old little girl who will never know her father. He loved her so much, she was his best friend. He was the love of my life, I don't understand why this happened. Why do everyone else get to have their happy ever after, and one week after I buy my wedding dress, my love is taken from me.I am trying so hard to be strong, but I'm not. I can barely wake up in the morning and get to work. I have been a horrible mother, leaving my daughter with my cousin at night so that I can go home and cry. I don't want my daughter to have to deal with my mental breakdowns, but she needs her mother also. I don't know how to do this, everything reminds me of him, and everything that I have lost with him dying. Some mornings I can barely breathe with the amount of pain I feel. Most days I wish that I had been the one to die, because I don't know how to deal with this pain. It is so overwhelming and intense. People look at me and keep telling me how great I am handling things, but in reality I am a basketcase. I go to work and put on a happy face, smile and laugh but that takes so much effort. I do it mainly because I have to have income coming in to suppport myself and my daughter, but it is exhausting. All I want to do is crawl up in a ball and cry but that is not good for me or my daughter. I just want to know, how do you do this, how does life continues when the person I planned to share my life with is gone, along with all of our plans, and dreams. How do I become the mother my daughter needs and deserves, I just don't understand none of this. I know life is not fair, but why does it have to be so cruel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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