giving up

[usagainsttheworld]

Its been 10months and realizing no one can help me. For some of us it will probably never get better. Good luck everyone. I accepted my new and depressing life in hope that one day it ends very quick. I'm officially giving up.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Prayers for you...

[obakesan]

Hi

It depends on how you view things. If you expect that anyone can help you get back to how you were before, that is of course impossible.

I view things as like re-learning life as any massive accident victim who looses (say) both legs does. Things just won't he the same.

Best wishes to you on your journey. Mine too is fraught.

[usagainsttheworld]

I'm fully aware life wont be the same reminded of that everyday thanks.

[Jeff's Mom]

I truly am sorry for your loss. I wish there was something that I could say to help you to feel better. But we both know that I can't. I do not have the answers to why bad things happen to good people. Grief has many stages and we all go about it in our own way. At the beginning after the initial shock has worn off we start to feel crippled by pain and anger. It is so easy to roll over and just give up. It takes a huge amount of effort to keep going every day. When my son died I felt briefly as you do now. I wanted to join him as living without him seemed unbearable. I tried to be strong for him as I know your fiancé would want you to do for him now. Slowly, very slowly...in time the pain started to ease a bit. I found I was able to go about more daily tasks focusing properly. Eventually in time it did get a bit better as in manageable. It softened a bit. I told myself that he was indeed dead but not gone from my life. I would carry him in my heart everywhere and for as long as I lived. I hope you will consider continuing to post on the site. Although I am usually on the Loss Of Adult Child site my own husband is very ill with cancer and I frequently scan this area as well. You will find a great bunch of people that are feeling just as lost as you are at this very time. They will listen and hopefully be able to give you better advice then I can. I can only say to try to be strong for him. You can do it.

[mgilbertson]

I understand how you feel. I doubt that it will get better, just more bearable. Its just going to take time, lots of time!! I hate it all!

[obakesan]

I'm fully aware life wont be the same reminded of that everyday thanks.

do not be so dismissive of what I have said. You seem to have read it as "just empty words from yet another who does not understand"

just before my wife died I had to have (not quite, but close to) emergency surgery for an aneurysm on my aortic artery. they were happy they discovered it (by accident).

Then my Father died.

5 weeks later my wife died of a brain cancer which we didn't know was there.

6 months after that I find there was an infection in my sternum from the open heart surgery, 4 months of operatoins - recovery - reoperations - re recovery all alone, all with none to help all with the love of my life dead and wishing every day I'd just died.

I tried to be brief, but what I was saying was no matter what, we can relearn how to live again.

I looked really carefully at my shotgun for weeks ... so I perhaps understand a little of how you feel.

My point is that we may look at something many times before we see it differently.

I wish you all the best on your journey.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

do not be so dismissive of what I have said. You seem to have read it as "just empty words from yet another who does not understand"

just before my wife died I had to have (not quite, but close to) emergency surgery for an aneurysm on my aortic artery. they were happy they discovered it (by accident).

Then my Father died.

5 weeks later my wife died of a brain cancer which we didn't know was there.

6 months after that I find there was an infection in my sternum from the open heart surgery, 4 months of operatoins - recovery - reoperations - re recovery all alone, all with none to help all with the love of my life dead and wishing every day I'd just died.

I tried to be brief, but what I was saying was no matter what, we can relearn how to live again.

I looked really carefully at my shotgun for weeks ... so I perhaps understand a little of how you feel.

Obakeson, I usually post in the other thread, Loss of an Adult Child...I have lost two children, one as an infant and my beloved son, Jesse, in October of 2012...he was ran over in his own lane while driving his motorcycle to a doctor's appointment...

Sometimes I look through the other threads and have found the commonality of grief...the feeling of being lost, the desperation, the loneliness, the questioning of faith and about life in general, the exhaustion and flood of tears...

I just wanted to say to Obakeson, that I have read some of your writings about the loss of your wife...and that it was noticed...I even read some of the blog you put out, it was of interest to see the world through another's eyes...

I believe you had a posting about people who are able to speak multiple languages and how that makes a difference on how we perceive our world...it gave me food for thought...

Wishing everyone on this thread a peaceful day...