One breath at a time..

[Cherish's Mom]

Cherish was born into this world with much confusion and chaos... but I loved that child from the moment I knew she existed.

She just celebrated her 23rd birthday ... two weeks later, she would leave this earth. And in leaving this earth, she took with her my heart and soul. My hope and dreams. My life and breath.

To make matters worse, Cherish was murdered. Insult to injury, literally. So in these last few weeks without Cherish, I have grieved not just her loss, but the manner in which she was taken from me. I don't get to move away from her services, say goodbye to all the well wishers and slip back into what is to become my new normal. I have to contend with DA's and Cororner's reports and of course, the defense lawyer.

I'm not sure how I feel about the man that took my child from me. I'm not even sure how I feel at all right now. I hear so many tell me that I won't ever get over it, but I'll get through it. Really? How do I get through another day where I don't sleep. How do I make another day where I don't eat? How do I manage another day... another hour... another breath, without Cherish?

I want to fast foward a year. Two. Five. I want to not feel this pain any more that is so searing and so consuming that it steals my very breath.

I DON'T want to do this!! I DON'T want to walk in this valley.

I fight every day to be strong. To hold every one up. There are two dads and a sister that are crumblingh before my very eyes and I try to encourage them and help them and ... I'm failing because they are still so broken.

And I'm at a loss. I'm at a place I never knew I could be. How... how does one go on when all one wants to do is stop?

Cherish's mom

PS: This is my first post, if I've done it wrong, I apologize

[Jeff's Mom]

Cherish's Mom...I am so very sorry for your loss. Please come and join us on loss of an adult child site. Many here have walked in your shoes and still are. Hope to hear from you soon. Kate

[Mommysangelisabella]

Cherishs mom,

First off i am so so very sorry for you loss . Kate is right i know it might sound weird but everyone post under loss of an adult child and there are many there in all stages of greif and losses. Some like me whos angel went to heaven before her first breath and even more who hv passed on in similar ways to your angel. Everyone here know of the pain but in truth will never know your pain because as we hv all stated our greif is our own. I to am the rock in wich my family holds onto and my rock is this suport group. I find days i cant breath that im to overwhelmed and i want it to be a bad dream. we go to this sight sometimes just to vent to yell and scream to say all the things we need to say but cnt for one reason or another. We talk about our familys even more about our angels and what life is like this day. Its a process if one hour is to much take it a min or a second at a time . Wr are always here. Ive tx in the middle of a party locked in a bathroom crying. So dnt feel bad or wrong about anything. Youve found a good place. In our group we say we belive our angels found each other in heaven and lead us together for help so i honestly belive your cheris joined my isabella a boy name brooks a boy named jd a girl name cara and so many many more. We would love you to join us tell us about you , your story your girl. Remember just breath even when you cant just breath. I also think i saw you said she has a sister ? Fall on her as well i hv little boys and thats what helps get me threw im forced to keep going to take care of them. Not sure how old she is but take time go to the park or mall something to keep you moving but allow your self the time to greive and dnt let anyone tell you how to do it. The day my angel went to heaven was sept 24,2013 it is new for me as well . It is been said we dnt move on ever yes and no i dnt think you get used to it i think we just deal and find our way into this new life we are thrown into. Im sorry youve had to join our group but glad youve found us. I will add you to my prayer list you and your hole family even your angel because weather shes here on earth or in heaven she is yours and will forever remain so. All my love wendy

[hotrod]

Welcome Cherishsmom

I am so very sorry to read of the terrible loss of your precious daughter, Cherish. It is good that you found this site and had the courage to share your sadness and pain. I lost my only child Stephen over 6 years ago and this site and the understanding people who are here helped me to "hold on" and when that was all I could do and to move forward an inch at a tiime since.

It is important to connect with others who understand as few others can. Come here often, read, share your heart, post poictures of your sweet daughter and we will all walk this road wiith you.

You are not alone

e

[wgreenlee]

Cherish's Mom…I will be hear for you…we all will. I would love to know more about her…lean on us and share whatever you need. I found it was hard at first, because the pain and sorrow are so new…still is I guess, but it helped so much to share Brooks with everyone. It was my way of coping. After my family left it was just my wife, Renea, and I. Brooks was our only child. My friends are trying to help, but they just don't know our pain. Not their fault and I hope they never do either. But we all feel your loss and want to help you…I know it helps me in my grief journey.

Praying for you…Wade