Members whitedove2 Posted June 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted June 2, 2008 I was just wondering if anyone here has felt like it was your fault that your parent is gone?Reason i ask that is because i feel like i killed my mom. i am now 36 years old and she passed away when i was 15 just 2 weeks from my 16 th birthday and was buried on mothers day in 1988. for 2 weeks before she died and even up to 3 months before she died i held her head up while she threw up night after night, while she suffered i stayed in the bedroom with her, then i finally made her ( yes i made her go to the doctor cause she was always afraid of the doctors and never went ) so i basically told her that if she did not go that when i got home from school that i would drag here to the doctor, when i got home that day dad told me they had put her in the hospital. so i went to see here for every day for one week, then on a saturday when we had went to see her the doc said that friday night she had suffered a stroke and was paralized on her left side, he also said that her stomack was eat up with cancer and that it had spread so much that there was nothing they could do about it or for her, so all that next week i stayed by the hospital by her bed, i did not go to school - of course it was like the finale week of school so it did not matter, then the night i went home to get some sleep and take a bath and get a change of clothes the police came to my door about 3 am and took me, my younger brother, and my dad back to the hospital. my mom had had another stroke this time paraluizing her right side and was clinicly brain dead. The machine was the only thing keeping her alive. then my older brother came in and while i was at the school picking up my report cards ( and the stupid cancerler of the school had done put in the report that me and my brother had quit school , i told her i did not quit and was at the hospital with my mom and her exact words to me were well if she dies she dies but you need to be here in school so i got mad and just left / was already upset. well while i was at the school getting that my older brother had the doctor pull the plug on mom and she passed away. i never got to say good-bye to her..now i feel like it is my fault. if i had made her go to the doctor earlierr then they could have found the cancer on here sooner and could have done something to save her, then i think about if i had not have made her go to the doctor then she still would be here with us. i keep blaming myself for her death. i cant seem to get past that..so i was wondering if anyone has ever felt this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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