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How We Honor Our Children


melstep

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This year I honored my son by decorating for the Holidays, hanging his stocking and putting stuff in it- sharing it with his friends, having a candle lighting at our house by his tree..(his friends got it and a "stone",& planted it)-his friends (a surprise to me. like 30 kids not to mention the adults) lighting candles, saying a prayer at 10:14 pm on January 1- I think that ceremony really made Griffin feel honored and respected, and very much loved by us all. We all miss Griffin so much.

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joellykidsmom

I'm Liz and am new to this site. I pray for all of you. I was reading all of your notes to each other. It's amazing to me that we're all feeling the same thoughts and having the same reactions. I sometimes feel like I'm going nuts. We lost our 16 yr old Joel on Oct 25th. He was driving. A new driver with 2 friends in the car. It's not even 3 months and it feels like years, yet.. unreal.. yet.. he should be coming home anytime. Unable to concentrate, good and bad days.. mostly bad. I pray for good days and comfort. Usually the better days now are the days I can put him out of my head for awhile. Sometimes he just won't go away and that causes guilt. I have been looking for ways of dealing with this when it gets too hard, but am heartened and saddened that it appears that we're all going thru a normal thing. A new normal, I guess. Just makes you wonder. I know you all know. Take care.

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Joellykidsmom, I am so sorry for you loss. It is so very hard. This is a good place to talk, but I might point you to the loss of a teenager strand where you will be able to talk to other parents that have lost children, Joel's age. I lost my son Kirk when he was 17 and there are so many issues we had to face. Jim

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For Griffinsmom- Are you from Jensen Beach, Florida? xoxomamabets

Yes, we are in Jensen Beach, Griffin was a senior at MCHS, went to First Baptist Christian School, JD Parker Elelmenary, Stuart Middle....wish bellsouth email wasnt always down...(rls714@adelphia.net...is good now as I try to figure out how to get my addresses and folders off BellSouth)...Griffin is like my dog Toby- everywhere I go, someone knows him. I hope Griffin and Toby find each other- I had Toby for 12 years.....I miss them both, but there is a big difference between Toby and Griffin. End of story there. Have a nice day, all.

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For Griffinsmom- I hope that you get your e-mail up and running- I sent you a long one in the night!!! Just heard from my sister who used to live in Jensen- A Nancy Wipkee from Jensen passed away during the night- My nieces nursery school teacher!! My niece is 23- xoxomamabets

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foreverchanged

My husband and I honor our son by giving out a "Heart Award" each spring to a Head Start student in our community. We have the teachers send us letters nominating children based upon the characteristics of our son.

(The children and their families do not know their child is nominated so there is no competition or hurt feelings to those not chosen.)

We choose a child and give him a plaque and his parents a check. This check can be used however the family sees fit, but the purpose is so the child can be prepared for Kindergarden. (clothes, lunch box, shoes, crayons, coat) As our son never got to enter Kindergarden, we felt lead to help a child of the same age enter Kindergarden on the right foot.

We do not generally meet the child or his family. It would just be too hard. We just use the letters as an instrument of getting to know each little boy and base our decision on them.

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For Foreverchanged- My Danny leaves "heartprints" everywhere since he has passed... "Hearts" are everywhere, and I have put together 3 photo albums since his passing of these miracles that he leaves. He was due on Halloween of 1978, and born on Halloween of 1978, so coming into this world he was full of surprises- The first heart appeared on my makeup sponge very soon after he left this earth, so I immediately knew that this would be his way of always letting me know that he is with us still, as it took my breath away. Since that time, he has left many other signs, hearts, however, always being his constant... xoxomamabets

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Foreverchanged, what a wonderful way to keep you child's memory alive in the community. Head Start is a wonderful organization and helping a family in such a giving way has to be very rewarding.

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Last May, less than 5 months after my son\'s accident I started the Devin Knupp Passion For Music Award for deserving senior(s) at his high school. For the first year I gave a plaque and $500. I hope to continue this as long as I live. Music was a daily routine(drums & guitar) in my son\'s life and I know he would enjoy helping someone(he always did when he was alive). The money that had been saved for his college education is being used to fund the award and a fund is being set up now to put monies into. I know this is not for everyone, but for me, it is a way to honor him and to make him still a part of my existance.

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Our son Anthony was 7 yrs old when he died in a wreck. his chool, mainly his teacher alone had a memorial service for him once i was well enough to attend. they made a flower garden kinda, with his favorite tree in the center, a dogwood. they made a sign and a plaque also. recently the hurch where we wrecked at put up a sign at the spot where we hit. I will upload the pic to his website as soon as i get my new camera tomorrow. meanwhile, here is what i personally did. I fixed a website http://anthony-cox.memory-of.com/about.aspx and put loads of pics and lots of feeling into so later we could look back and say, Anthony is never forgotten... I made a book (3 ring binder) and put a pic of him on the front and a poem i wrote on the cover and drew doodles around the boarder, the back i put a poem i found helpful. and in the middle, i put all my feelings, my kids put theirs and i think it is thick enough to be a book already! we are doing other things too, i will right more later as i am on one of my cry all night days~ or should i say nights? thank you for allowing me to share,

Carol

Anthony's Mom 4 ever

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Was just at Anthony's memorial site. He was certainly a beautiful child. I'm so sorry for your loss. Always remember that Anthony's light will continue to shine.

BettyAnn

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Carol, I look at Anthony's pictures and see so much of my little toe head there also. It is so heartbreaking to know what pain you are going through. It just isn't fair. I am so very sorry, I wish we never had to know the feelings we now share.

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I hear mothers and daughters murmuring softly in the background...

Reminding me that I have become a listener...

My sweet angel died in January 2005, no answers, many questions, so much sadness..

My garden is my tribute to her, butterflies, angel statues, and waterfalls softy murmuring in the background of what was once my life.

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I have a golf tournament every year in his name with the proceeds going to his daughters trust.When we feel we have enough funds for her we'll donate the proceeds to the make a wish foundation in his name.Brian always loved kids.He used to hate to hear about kids with a terminal illness

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Hello,

We have had requests on the suggestion board for something that people can wear to show they are grieivng. We created a pin and a braclet to let people know that we are remembering the ones we have loved. You can see them at http://www.redjetmedia.com/pins/special.htm. In the future we can make a pin that might say remember my child or honor my child. This is the first in the series to see if these appeal to people in helping them honor the memories of their loved ones.

Kelly

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Corinnesmom

My daughter's class is graduating the third of June. I wanted to do something in her memory. She loved dolphins and she loved the color blue. I bought 100 car fresheners that were blue and in the shape of a dolphin. The principal at the HS is going to distribute them to the Senior class as a "Corinne momento".

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Corinnesmom...what a nice tribute to Corinne. It's nice that the principal agreed to pass them out to the class. Our thougths and prayers are with you on June 3.

BettyAnn

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My son was murdered in 2000. He was almost 2. It has been a long and difficult road for me in so many ways. But, I have found that much of my healing has come in my own way of honoring him. I volunteer. I work with kids. I volunteer at the schools in my area and I have found so much comfort from being able to be a positive and caring influence in a childs life.

Most of them, would never know what started the motivation for the work the I do. But, I know that each and every child whose life I can benefit, whose words I hear and whatever words of encouragement I offer, are my tribute to him, and to a better world.

I grieve my loss of him. But I now I am at a place where I can thank him too. I am better for having loved him. I hope that my work, in it's own small way, is making the future better too. Like throwing a pebble in a pond.

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For All~ I celebrate my Danny today by sharing him with all of my wonderful friends here at Beyond Indigo and beyond....June 15, 2004....There are no words....I love you Danny, as much as you love me and I thank you for showing us the way!!! xoxoMom

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My son Michael was a 4 year varsity wrestler in high school from 98-02. I was of course involved with his wrestling program then but i am now (8years) still involved and have the title of "wrestling coach assistant and head stat girl coach" The wrestling program keeps me going. that is where i got my name "MommaQuinn" and am called that all the time. I cherish it.

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We have a website that friends and family may post their thoughts on Keith. Since he died due to a drunk driver, I run an event that is a fundraiser for MADD. When the driver gets out of jail, he promised to come with me to talk in schools, but has no choice since it's also part of his comminity service.

I am also setting up a scholarship fund in his memory. We sued the bar that did not put a check on the driver before letting him leave and won. Now we are using the money for ourselves, our loved ones and for doing things in his name.

Anything that we get with the money, like getting repairs on our house, we call gifts from Keith. It took us a long time to get over the fact that it was not blood money. I did not "trade" my son for money. I would live in a tent and eat bugs to have him back.

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I HONOR MY SON JAMES BY TALKING ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY...........TO SOMEONE...EVERYONE KNEW HIM ...HE KNEW NO STRANGERS AND JUST WENT UP AND STARTED TALKING TO PEOPLE...'

HE IS THE ONE IN 95 THAT STARTED THE 4 RIBBONS PEOPLE WORE FOR THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING..IN BEDFORD IND...HE WAS IN KIDS FIRST AND THE MAYOR,,,PRINCIPAL..AND OF COURSE US WERE SO PROUD OF HIM...I HAVE THE VIDEO WHERE TV CAMERA MEN TALKED TO HIM AND ALSO A CASSETTE I LISTENED TO LAST WEEK PEOPLE LOCALLY TALKING TO HIM..I HAVE PHOTOS OF HIM POSTED ON MY REFRIGERATOR..BEDROOM..ALMOST EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE..HE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN BY OLD MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TOO SPECIAL...I THINK WE ALL NEED TO TALK ABOUT OUR LOVED ONES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND THAT MIGHT HELP US WITH THE HEALING PROCESS...

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jamiedawnsmom

What haven’t I done would probably be a better question. I guess I’m so afraid that people will forget Jamie that I’m doing whatever I can to make sure that doesn’t happen. It’s also what keeps me going.

I bought a pictured entitled “Heavenly Hands” (it’d be worth the look) http://picturesofjesus4you.com/gallery1god_angels.html. It’s the second picture of a teenager with a young girl showing her around heaven. The teenager looks so much like Jamie it is unreal. I bought a big picture for the church and 8 x 10’s for myself, my girls, my mom, Jamie’s second family and her godmother.

For Jamie’s High School I had a sportsmanship display made up. It tells how all our children are stars and lists ways in which we all should conduct ourselves. Jamie was big into sportsmanship. It also has various pictures of Jamie and her friends playing sports with the caption “Friendships formed are more important than the outcome of any game.”

For the Grade School I’ve offered basketball camp scholarships. Jamie attended MSU basketball camp since she was a fourth grader so that is something I wanted to offer the students going into the fifth and sixth grade in the fall. This year I sponsored two youth to the camp and I plan to do this for the next ten years. There is a plaque with Jamie’s picture that will include all the participant’s names hanging in the school.

Jamie was a 10-year member of 4-H. I work at the Extension Office, which coordinates the 4-H program. I bought a park bench for the entry at the Extension Office in Jamie’s memory. I also have a fake tree and two live plants. The 4-H youth dedicated the 2006 annual 4-H Basketball Tournament in Jamie’s memory.

The basketball team had wrist bands made with Jamie’s #24 and wore them for the rest of the season. The coach and girls also had a display box made and put Jamie’s #24 jersey in it along with her shoes and other memorabilia. I have it hanging in my living room. The coach wants to hold an annual tournament in Jamie’s memory and use the proceeds for youth to attend basketball camp - hopefully he’ll follow through with it.

The Booster Club dedicated the athletic banquet to Jamie. The Class of 2006 dedicated their annual to Jamie and Jamie’s Class of 2008 planted a tree in Jamie’s memory.

I’m in the process of making a memorial garden off my deck for Jamie and Kim, my husband who was killed in a car accident on 9/28/03. I have a water feature and wood burner on my deck. The wood burner will be great to send messages to our loved ones. We can each write a note, burn it and let the smoke carry the message.

On Jamie’s birthday, June 29, we got together and celebrated her nephew’s 3rd birthday and Jamie’s life. We launched 17 pink balloons and my grandson let his three blue balloons go. It was a perfect day and the balloons all stayed together and went so high it was awesome.

On June 30 I got my first ever tattoo. Jamie had a tattoo of a butterfly and her nickname, Bird, tattooed on her foot. Her dad never called the kids by their given names - he had a nickname for all of them. The girls each had their nickname in their dad’s handwriting tattooed on their foot. I had Jamie’s butterfly tattooed on my foot with all the girl’s nicknames and Kim’s name. A month before Jamie’s accident she kept on asking me if she could get her dad’s initials tattooed on her hand. I had Jamie’s initials (JDG) in her handwriting tattooed on my hand.

Other tattoos include Jamie’s oldest sister having JDG tattooed on her chest. Her middle sister had a star with Jamie Dawn tattooed on her calf. Two of Jamie’s best friends had butterflies and Jamie Dawn tattooed on their shoulders. Her cousin had angel wings and Jamie Dawn tattooed on her shoulder. Two out of town friends had Jamie Dawn tattooed on their feet (I don’t know who they are - just that the tattoo artist said two girls came in and had it done). Two of her other cousins and a friend plan to get tattoos in Jamie’s memory also. Jamie’s cousin and classmate had JDG engraved inside his class ring.

I registered as a bone marrow donor. I would have done anything to keep Jamie here on earth so if I can do the same for another parent I’d gladly do it.

I also have pictures of Jamie everywhere - at work, in my car and at home. I don’t know what I’d do without my pictures and videos. Another indulgence has been angels. I have angels everywhere.

I am now in the process of trying to get a webpage setup in memory of Jamie. This is new to me so I’ve been checking different sites out. Hopefully I will get it together by Jamie’s angel date of December 23. Like I said earlier, it is what keeps me going.

Thanks for letting me indulge.

May our memories sustain us all.

Renee

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I guess I honored Ron within 3 days by having an "Open House, Celebration of His Life" in my home and invited anyone and everyone to attend.There was close to 70 people in my home that day, most I had never seen before in my life. The last to arrive was Ron, the "mailman" delivered his ashes as the last person came through the door. Since then a year has passed, our first Christmas, we had no clue what to do, I couldn't possibly go through all the ways we had in the past, we decided to "run away". there was no Christmas last year for us. My son/daughter/husband and I went to a condo on the beach and just let the day go by and we talked about Ronnie. His Birthday was in June, another hurdle to jump...I had friends and family all over the country light a candle at 7:46PM the time of his birth and take a minute to talk to him. Everyone did! I hope Ronnie saw the glow from earth!! The next week was when he became an angel, July 4, 2005. We went to the Drop Zone in Tampa to visit with his friends and be at the place where we released him to "FreeFly one more time"..also his friends had planted a magnolia tree with a plaque and we wanted to see its progress. While there, they showed us his memorial tapes and other videos with him and the group in them, it was wonderful to watch him smiling and laughing in those tapes. (I do have copies and watch at least 3 times a week)...Now I have an ash pendant, just a teeny amount of his ashes are held inside and I wear it everyday, (this might be crazy, but...) I sleep with his hospital ID card, its in my pillow, it was the first thing I picked up when we got to NJ and I held it all the way home, so its with me everynight. Some people sent us Money (?) in sympathy cards., didn't know what to do with that and people wanted to know if there was a charity they could donate to, so we sent the $$ and had people send money to "Special Olympics", Ron always had empathy for children with problems, and he was such an athlete I figured that would make him happy to help there. Now we have to sell his home, none of us want the $ from that either, (we WANT HIM), but we decided to take the money from the sale of the house and use it to get together, my daughter lives in Vegas, and my other son is in another part of fl, we don't get together very often, and Ron also loved to travel and would get mad because we always "sat at home", constantly yelling at us to "go out and have fun, Just Do it" was his mantra..so if theres any monies left my little family will get out once a year and do something fun and be together, it will at least pay for airfare so we can be together "as a family".....I'm reading all these beautiful ways you are honoring your children, some are amazing. My next thing is to start a book or scrapbook of Ron, just haven't been able to really start digging through his stuff yet, too painful. His brother went the day we got home and got a tatoo on his forearm, it was huge, from the inside of his elbow to his wrist, it was a picture of Ron swooping down with parachute (taken from an article in a local paper), with the words in memory of Ron and the dates, I normally dislike tatoos, but I cried like a baby when I saw this one, it looks just like the newspaper article, and his brother was so proud to have it done, he also wrote a poem for his brother which was Beautiful.

How sad that we have to think of ways to share their "memories" and not their "life" He will always be alive in me.

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I WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I FINALLY GOT ALEX'S MEMORIAL PAGE UP AND GOING. ITS NOT COMPLETE BUT I WANTED TO PASS THE ADDRESS ON TO YOU ALL.

alex-foster04.memory-of.com

I LOST ALEX ON JULY 5, 2005 DUE TO A CAR ACCIDENT. HE WAS 16 YEARS OLD. YESTERDAY WAS HIS 18TH BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS A VERY HARD DAY FOR ME. ITS JUST STILL SO HARD TO BELEIVE THAT HE IS GONE. SOME DAYS SEEM TO BE BETTER THAN OTHERS BUT I HONESTLY THINK I AM DENIAL ON THOSE DAYS. AFTER A COUPLE DAYS OF THE DENIAL THE REALITY SETS IN AGAIN. I JUST PRAY THAT THE LORD AND ALEX WILL CONTINUE GIVING ME THE STRENGTH TO GO ON WITHOUT HIM HERE WITH ME.

HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A PEACEFUL WEEK.

GOD BLESS,

STACY (ALEX'S MOM)

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jamiedawnsmom

Stacy (Alex's Mom), I just wanted to say I feel the same as you - the denial part. If I really let myself think about it I get such pains in my chest that I keep on pushing it back to deal with later, but I never let later come. I guess my head knows the truth, it's just having a hard time convincing my heart. To lose such a young, vibrant person is just unimaginable. I'm in the process of making a web site for Jamie. My goal is by her angel date of December 23.

Take care and thanks for sharing Alex with us.

Renee

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When my Keithie died my oldest son Joe went and order fifthy tee shirts that said(SUN RISE WITH THE DATE HE WAS BORN AND SUN SET WITH THE DATE HE DIED)AND HIS GRADUATOIN PICTURE IN THE MIDDLE)we gave out to all my family and friends and my best friends daughter when to school with the tee shirt and she had to go and order one hundred more so now all the kids wear it on special days in school in his memory,like to all the football,basketball games.(Judy)

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Hi everybody,

I have spent hours reading through post after post on this forum, but I have never actually posted. I lost my beautiful daughter Stacia 4 years ago, and despite having lots of support through family and friends, find it difficult getting by each day. Not an hour seems to pass without Stacia passing through my thoughts. I visit her grave as often as possible, and have developed other special ways of remembering Stacia which I thought may be helpful to members.

1) Create a memory box containing special items that belonged to you and your loved one. Place little notes in it with special memories on.

2) Put notes into a box with a secure lock on it. Place messages into this box and write down words and feelings which you wish you had said to your loved one before they passed away.

3) Make a collage of all your favourate photographs of your loved one and put it up on the wall where you can look at it anytime you like.

4) Create a new tradition in remebrance of your loved one. For example you could light a candle and listen to your loves one's favourate music on the 20th day (or a particularly special day) of every month.

5) Donate money to a charity, to help those less fortunate than ourselves (you may be suprised how well this works)

6) Create an online memorial for your loved one and visit it often, lighting candles and leaving tributes. Stacia has a memorial, feel free to visit and light a candle at http://remembered-forever.org/stacia1/

I hope people may take up one or two of these little remembrance methods, I know they have helped me a lot, but everybody is different. Do you have any special routines or activities that help you cope, if so, I would love to hear of them! Hope you found my very first post helpful.

Best Wishes

Denise

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4everjoeysmom

Hi Denise: Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart. I'm glad you made your first post. Some of the things you listed I also have done for my Joey. I have a box of his little treasures that I visit very often. I made a collage of photos we stood in an easel at his memorial service, which I gave to Joey's brother Patrick, an only sibling. I also write letters to Joey at his college e-mail address he last wrote me from. I don't send them. I just save them as a continual letter draft while noting each entry date. I can go to it anytime and write to him whatever I want...just stuff I would normally call him about or chat about. We talked very often. I also write my deep feelings there. I work as a missionary and am currently in the field in Ecuador. This Christmas we are feeding 2000 orphans and that brings me some comfort of doing something worthwhile that Joey would be proud of. While the work is where God wants me, and it is fulfilling to a degree, trhere is still much sadness for me. I just miss my boy. Some folks donated to our ministry/charity in memory of him, (www.pathwaysinternational.org) which was an awesome tribute to him, our work, and their love for Joey and the Lord. I too have a memorial site for Joey at http://Joey-McConkey.virtual-memorials.com. I recently posted about a light tree he helped me make on the wall one year when he was little. My mom read my post and dug up a picture of him with his wall tree. What a gift that was! (THANKS MOM!!)

My Joey has been gone only 5 months this New Year's Eve. My heart is shattered and my guts are wrenching every day. Some days just to breathe is a chore. But somehow God sees me through, and that's all I can hope for. I know in time I will learn to live my days half empty-half full, but I will never get over losing my baby. Having the support of folks here that "know"... it's a gift. Thank you all, and God bless you.

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Hello all,

Thank you for being members of our message boards. In March I am going and speaking to a group of funeral directors who really want to learn how to help their families they serve better. The discussion is to help the funeral directors think about what death means to them (including their own) so that they treat people with more companission. I could really use your help by answering this short survey. The results will be shared with this group of funeral directors but not your name. Please copy and cut this link into a new browser to take the survey http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=816323037425 .

Thanks!

Kelly Baltzell

President

Beyond Indigo

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1) Share your memories with friends and family and get them to share theirs too. You may learn things that you didn't know about your loved one.

2) Leave memorial flowers at your church, or another special spot such as the beach.

3) Create a memory box containing special items that belonged to you and your

loved one. Place little notes in it with special memories on.

4) Put notes into a box with a lock on it. Place messages into this box and write things down which you wish you had said to your loved one before they passed away.

5) Make a collage of all your favourite photographs of your loved one and put it up on the wall where you can look at it anytime you like.

6) Honor your loved one's favourite tradition.

7) Create a new tradition in remembrance of your loved one. For example you could light a candle and listen to your loved one's favourite music on the 20th day of every month.

8) Hang a stocking at Christmas containing lots of loving memories of your loved one.

9) Gather your friends and family together in celebration of your loved one. Perhaps throw a remembrance party on the anniversary of their death.

10) Light a candle in your loved one's memory.

11) Make a memory book of photos and memoirs of your loved one.

12) Donate money to a charity, or donate your time to help those less fortunate than you.

13) Wear a photo pin of your loved one or put their picture into a locket to treasure always.

14) Start a memorial trust or scholarship fund for your loved one.

15) Write a poem or a story about your loved one ( See Funeral Poems.org for ideas and inspiration

16) Visit a place that you used to like going to together. Remember the good times you had there.

17) Hang a special bauble or ornament from the Christmas tree.

18) Plant a tree in memorial of your loved one. Place a plaque next to the tree with a message on it.

19) Listen to your loved ones favourite music.

20) Cook your loved ones favourite meal and think of them while you are eating it.

21) Make a memorial quilt in your loved ones memory. You could even make it out of their old clothes.

22) Release balloons with friends and family in memory of your loved one. Perhaps attach little notes onto the balloons with messages on them.

23) Visit your loved one's resting place often and take flowers to leave at their grave.

24) Name a pet of even your next child after your loved one.

25) Plant a memory garden for your loved one, plant their favourite flowers and trees and every time you are tending to it you will remember your loved one.

26) Write a letter to your lost loved one, tell them everything you are missing about them and everything that you learned from them.

27) If you are hosting an event such as a wedding or christening, do something to remember your loved one at that special time, to show how much you wish they could be there with you. Perhaps light a candle or hold a few moments silence in their memory.

28) Wear a piece of jewelry which belonged to your loved one, whenever you look at it, you will remember them.

29) On special occasions, such as birthdays or Christmas, buy a gift for your loved one and then donate it to someone who needs it, such as a homeless person. It will make their day as well as yours.

30) Put a bench in your garden, or in the cemetery garden with a plaque on it which says in memory of your loved one and a few words about them.

31) Visit http://www.remembered-forever.org and create an online memorial in their name.

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4everjoeysmom

Over these past several days, through Christmas, my husband and I were blessed to be part of a missions project that saw 2000 fed in Quito Ecuador that may have otherwise gone hungry. During this time we had the opportunity to serve these people, pray for them, and pray with them. I carried on thi smission with me the memory of my dear son Joey, who I lost on July 31st of this year. In sharing my testimony of God's mercy, His grace, His love, and His faithfulness that has carried me through these past five months, I was able to witness and pray with individuals and whole families that received Jesus Christ into their hearts as personal Saviour. I can think of no better way to honor my son, and I am so blessed for the gift that God has given me--He is teaching me how to carry on and serve others in the face of my pain. Thank you Lord, and thank you Joey. I love you!!

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I am starting an organization to do charity work in the memory of our children. They brought so much happiness while they were here, so I want to spread that happiness while keeping their memory alive. www.angelwingparents.org

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ladyhitchhiker

In memory of LeAnn I donate to the meningitis foundation, and to the humane society - she loves/loved animals. Also, I try to be a better person than the day before. She showed me who I wanted to be. She gave for no reason, other than it was right to give. She loved because it was right to love, and she lived every day always like it was her last. She was completely and utterly selfless. I hope to be just like her someday.

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ladyhitchhiker

I also try to write poetry in memory of her. :) Not a lot yet in that department because it's hard to write about her creatively.

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I run an annual dance competition that raises money for Mothers Against Drunk Driving in my son's memory. We also have an annual, "Life's Too Short Not to Party" party in his memory. Our take is we are tired of just seeing people at funerals so why not do it while we are all alive.

We also have a memorial garden and a website. I just closed the old website and have on on myspace.com for him.

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i am having a hard time fixing my son's grave site .....picking out the headstone.....finding the right words......the design.....hardest thing i have ever done......i could really use some ideas and help....the pain inside aches when i think of trying to pick out the headstone......i miss him so much

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Guest,

I understand why you are having a tough time. We just finalized the writing/print/etchings on our own sons headstone/monument last month. You are right- it is very difficult to find the right words, designs and I agree that it is very tough. No parent should ever have to go thru this and I wish none of us were, I'm sorry that you are going thru this. I feel and share your pain.

We included our two college age daughters when deciding on what color Wades stone/monument should be, the size/type of stone and what writings/etchings/print should be placed on Wade's monument.

Each family/parent is different and I just wanted to share with you what seemed to "feel" right or "seemed" right for us.

We decided to go with a monubench instead of a monument. If you're not familiar with a monubench, it's a stone that is connected to a small bench. We had a variety of reasons as to why we went with the monubench, but the main reason was that it allows a place for someone in our family and or Wade's friends to sit if they desire while visiting our sons grave. The front of Wade's monument is more formal, with his name, date of birth, date of death, and the back of the monument is more personal. We have several things on the back of it that allows others to see what our son enjoyed doing while he was on earth, his likes, interests and it tells a bit about Wade's personality as well. This was extremely tough to work on, and I hope we will be ok with what we decided on. At this time, nothing feels right, the same, or the way it should be.

I have heard that it is also painful for any parent once the monument arrives and is placed. Our sons monument will not be in for 60-90 days. So at this time we are waiting to see what it looks like. I am so sad that we are all going thru this- I am sad each time I see a new name that appears on the BI website, Please feel comfortable with whatever you'd like to share /express on this Website, it helps sometimes just to be able to talk about it with those of us who might possibly know what you are experiencing due to our own loss/losses.

I didn't proof read this- sorry for all errors.

Take care

Wadesmom

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Our family is honoring our two year old Kelsey Briggs that was murdered after months of documented abuse. We started a website www.kelseyspurpose.org that helps other families in abusive situations and dealing with state agencies. Kelsey's Daddy was in Iraq fighting for our country while his child was here fighting for her life. She lost her battle, but we hope to win the war and get justice for Kelsey. Her mother and stepfather have both been charged in connection with her death. We also lobbied for a new law in Oklahoma name for Kelsey and it went to effect last November. We sponsor the Kelsey Briggs Walk Against Child Abuse each October. Our Governor declared April 27, 2006 Kelsey Briggs Day in the state of Oklahoma. We had car stickers made and have distributed more than 150,000 all over the world. Several poems and a song have been written so we had book marks made. We have heard of several children who have been saved because of Kelsey's story. We are proud of the difference she is making. For more on her story please visit her website.

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My son Donovan died March 1st this year. Being 2, he was a typical boy, and he LOVED cars. Any kind. When he died, weasked for donoations of cars instead of flowers. We plan to donate them to hospitals and other places, so that many many more little boys also can share my sons love for things on wheels.

We also donated his eyes and heart valves, so that some other mother out there may not have to feel like I do now.

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I had twin sons that were born 4 months early. They lived for about an hour. My husband and I got to hold them the whole time they were with us. Since we didn't have anything to remember them by (except for their ashes and a baby blanket they had in the hospital) we decided to get tattoos. My husband and I are very much into western/cowboys and we had named them Waylon Thomas and Jesse Redden. We thought of them as our little cowboys. I got a tattoo above my knee with two cowboys; each on a horse riding into a sunset. Each horse is on it's hind legs and the cowboys have their hats in the air. Their names are below the sunset. My husband got two antique pistols one on each side of his chest. Their names are on the barrell of the guns.

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We also got tattoos for my son. Alot of other friends and family members have, or are planning to get, tattoos for him as well. I plan to put pictures of all the tattoos in a memorial book for my son.

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I lost my precious daughter due to cancer, I was really lost in the world, but my fest friend told me that she has created memorial website for her father and that it has helped her a lot. At the begining I was reluctant to create memorial website for her. But I have checked the website and I have found out that many people think of this as of good way how to cope with the grief. So I have also created website for my girl and it is helping me. I can visit the site anytime i feel sad, and I can tell you it really helps. The name of the website is www.last-memories.com . Please let me know if this helped you.

yours tracey

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I have created a website for Little Angel Elijah Simpson.

I want his memory kept alive forever. The brutal murder of this little boy touched my heart. It has saddened me to no end and i just felt like i wanted everyone to help me keep his memory alive so please visit his website and light a candle for this precious little angel!

http://elijah-simpson.memory-of.com/

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My son Ryan Wrigley was murdered on 12/29/06 by his mother/my wife. I struggle daily with a great many things - one of them being how to best honor him. There are numorous pictures in my office and house, including things made specifically for the purpose of honoring him.

We had wrist bands made with his name on it that several people wear, we have a website designed to remember and honor him, as well as having a tribute to him on my work website.

The main thing I have tried to do to honor Ryan is to be a better person and to help others - especially ones with children - as best I can. The better person I become and the more people I can help the better chance I have of getting to spend eternity with my baby someday. Without the hope of that there is really very little purpose in my life. I hope this has helped someone in some small way.

My son's website is: http://fisherfuneralchapel.com/obits/obituaries.php/obitID/175378

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My son Ryan Wrigley was murdered on 12/29/06 by his mother/my wife. I struggle daily with a great many things - one of them being how to best honor him. There are numorous pictures in my office and house, including things made specifically for the purpose of honoring him.

I just saw this and straight away went to look at Ryan's site. He certainly is a beautiful boy, such a cheeky smile, I'm so sorry for your loss.

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When he died, weasked for donoations of cars instead of flowers. We plan to donate them to hospitals and other places, so that many many more little boys also can share my sons love for things on wheels.

That's a lovely idea. He'd have liked that I'm sure.

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Our family is honoring our two year old Kelsey Briggs that was murdered after months of documented abuse.

I've been to Kelsey's website, I just wanted to comment on what a beautiful little girl she is and how in the photo of her with your son in his uniform, what a beautiful photograph.

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