Members airymoon Posted January 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 naz one of my husbands friends did the same thing to me and at first i was really mad but then i realized he was joking but still a little interested. Your right it does feel good to know that someone else can think of you in that way and the best way for me to handle it was to laugh it off because anything else would have made me angry. I remember how shocked i was to realize the first time a man looked at me after my husbands death. I cant explain why i was shocked i gues it was a combination knowing that someone other than my husband noticed me and noticing men other than my husband. Now i find it amusing.becky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missinmyhubby Posted January 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 "Angel, is that a new Christmas puppy on your photo? What good stuff did anyone else get? Have a good day girls. Lisa"Hi Lisa...it was an early gift for our 14 year old son Hello everyone else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 naz/airmoonI feel the same way about my current situation with Wes. You go so long wondering if anyone will like u the way your husbands (or boyfriends) did and to meet someone you cant help but smile when u think that they see you the same way. i think thats one of my bigger concerns- do i like whats going on because im having feelings for him or do i like it because its flattering to know someone wants me and views me that way.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 my almost 4yo DS told me last night he wants me to find him a new daddy. should I start dating? I really have no intention of getting married again so I figure what's the point? maybe I should though. I have never in my life "dated" though. I Have had several men approach me but I tend to scare them off. (purposely) lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 I put my profile on Yahoo personals last month and I think I have met a really nice guy - we will be going out later this week for a "celebration" dinner - celebrating my recovery from surgery. My friend Jim is just not a good match for me, nor I for him, and it is time to move forward. A year ago, when we started emailing, my life changed for the better, the depression was gone within a couple of weeks and I started to live again. Life is too short to live it alone - at least for me. Fun is funner when shared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missyouhoney811 Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 April and Linda I agree with both of you. Life is too short to live it alone without having some sort of happiness. I think you both have good attitudes on the re-intering the world. No one is trying to forget their past. We know how much we love and miss our husbands. That will never change. Here in the present we must find whatever it is to remind us that we do have a reason to be here and to be happy and whatever it takes to make this happen GO FOR IT...........April, that was sweet what your son said. You are so very young I don't think it hurt for you to DATE........you don't have to remarry.........just have some fun.Prayers & Blessings,Dorothy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 yeah but I don't really want to even date is the problem.at least not yet. maybe if I met someone interesting that would change. I also told DS he won't ever have another Daddy. and even though he is not here he is still a part of us. hope that wasn't horrible? I think he understood what I was saying though, AND I love being single now! LOL. maybe I will work on finding some male friends though. for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missyouhoney811 Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 April, I don't think getting married again would solve anything. Dating on the other hand for you could be fun. Dinners, shows adult conversations. I know the feeling of loving being single again. My situation of course is different from yours. You still have children at home.............where I am totally by myself. I have alot of free time on my hands now. This year I will make sure that I am constructive with the time I have. I want to do busy happy things. Blessings,Dorothy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missyouhoney811 Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Linda, I like that....................fun is funner when shared. Very true...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rodless Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 missque, take it slow and you'll sort out your feelings and know if this is the right thing for you. I agree with the others...life is short and it's okay to move on and be happy. Anyone who truly loved you would want you to.I think I would be ready to go out if someone asked although I'm not in any hurry. It's just such a relief not to hurt so bad all the time and be content with home and friends. 18 months tomorrow...can't believe it's been so long. Sometimes it seems like yesterday or was it like this forever? Doesn't matter. I think I've turned a corner and am ready to go a new direction whatever that will be.Best to all of you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 MJ - you sound great - so glad that you have found some peace. On Jan 17th it will be 2 years for me - I was looking at photos earlier today from Terry's last birthday at the beach house. I have never been able to look at them before without crying, and I caught myself smiling at them. Sometimes it does still seem like yesterday, but mostly seems like forever since I have seen him and talked to him. He would be so amazed to see me now, I wish I could have lost the weight years ago but I guess I just wasn't ready. My doctor says that I will do much better with treatment because of the weight loss, so it is all good. Jim will be moving to CA soon and I will be staying in MI. Medicaid is paying for the treatment and I was told that I have to stay here to stay covered. My meds will cost $500 a month for 5 years, so leaving is not an option. We aren't a good match, but he has become my best friend and it will be hard to see him go. I wasn't ready yet when he started emailing a year ago, but it was great that he was persistant. I will always be grateful that he pulled me out of the abyss. Life is much too short. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Linda- that is ironic you and Jim are essentially trading states.lol. wierd! I wondered if you were still in MI! Good luck with your tx. I think you will do well through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Very weird is right. I wouldn't be here at all if I hadn't come to help him and now I am stuck in the last place I would want to be. I guess there must be a purpose or a reason, it better be a good one LOL I went shopping on Friday, and to a friends house. I am getting stir crazy already - I need to get back to work. I hope to find out next week when they will let me. I carry heavy trays on that side, so not sure what they will say. Hopefully the pathology report will be in by then too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mishknit Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 linda...thanks for the update, and that is weird that you are trading states...life is strange tho. I'm sure you will do well with your chemo, you have a lot of people pulling for you! and good luck on your new date.it's rainy here in CA, and I'm dismantling Christmas....it feels good to take it down, but i realized how much i enjoy having the tree, the lights and everything up. while the holidays were hard for me, they were also nice.....next year i will concentrate more on the good part, i think. the day after new years i went to las vegas with my son...took him to see LOVE fior his xmas present. it was a lot of fun, and a great show. i wish i had dorothy;s luck, but i didn't lose too much! lol!I don;t make resolutions, because i beat myself up when i don't mantain them, but i feel positive about 2008....this year i will grow, i will move ahead, and all the things i've learned since tom died i will put into practice, instead of dwelling in the sadness and the "poor me" stuff. i want to be optomistic about my future, alone or with someone.....i want to feel good again way more than i want to stay in the sadness. I have already accepted invitations to things that might be easier to hang at home and...what? wallow? no more.....if i'm not out participating in life then why am i living?i'd like to recapture some faith, some hope...especially in myself.everyone on here seems positive, and that is so great. it is hard to move ahead, but loosing our beloveds is hard, and we did that. now, i guess, we need to move ahead in life, grow, and make what we learned with our loves important in the world...does that make sense???I hit 2 years on the 21st of january..unbelievable, and yet, so believable. I miss him so much still, but, as linda said, i think.....i smile much more at the pictures and the memories than i cry...that seems good.anyway...happiness in the new year to you all. I don't post much (i really dislike this new format!...but i read and celebrate and cry with you all.and i wish i had some of that hommade kalua, anna!peace,michele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Michele, So great to hear from you! I am hoping to visit CA for my dad's 90th birthday in May - gotta get my car and my stuff and bring it back to MI. Maybe we can still do lunch I am dreading chemo and radiation, but you do what you gotta do and hopefully it will go as well as the surgery did. This is a piece of cake compared to losing Terry.My brother in law had a birthday party last night and we did pudding shots with kahlua and vodka in them - very yummy!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 I just looked through yahoo personals. 171 men. not one caught my eye. lol. maybe I am just hopeless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 It's even worse when you are over 60... I never wanted to date my grandpa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 sadly i think we can all say 'its even worse when...' at my age being younger no one gets the way i feel they all think i can just get on with it and it so not the case.. im very confused with the way things have been going with the other guy right now.. now im starting to second guess if its even what i wanna try- i dunno i dont like being confused Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 6, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 missque- well at least you can say you have plenty of time! I am sure it will take time to be comfortable with your new friend. or not. time will tell! you could just be friends too for awhile and wait and see. what's the rush? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 true that there is plenty of time i guess...and things have been going slow but than i start to wonder what his ententions are- after all he is a 26 yr old man... lol they all think with one part of their bodies lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I think if he is ~really~ interested he may be treading lightly. maybe he knows inherently you are not ready? or doesn't want to screw it up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mishknit Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Linda....that is so funny! I feel the same way....I look at these guys and go.."what?" I feel 30 but know I can't attract 30 year olds, nor do I reallly want to. It's just that when you're young and grow old with someone you don't notice it, i guess. They don't notice either..which is the other side of the coin. So many men in my age group are looking for 35-45 year olds, rather than women their own age. oh well....meanwhile..grampas galore! ugh!peace,michele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 i agree april we will see- and who doesnt love baggage haha oh i make myself laugh sometimes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 michele- you might be surprised about younger men. lol. I think some men tend to liek older women! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 btw bacafly your pic is GORGEOUS!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members armaiti Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 You know, I have a few friends who are partners with men that are ten years younger than they are, or even more. And they are really happy. I'm still not interested in being with anyone else. I still feel in a "interdimensional" relationship with Ishaq, and that's enough. I'm working on me now, and on my house, on my art. It gets lonely sometimes, but I've always enjoyed having alone time - all those years living in communal houses or with roommates cured me of wanting anyone else living here! I've been creating new shirt designs like crazy this weekend. I got inspired to do a line of designs for yoga/meditation, so I did a bunch of mandalas with Om signs, and some other shirts with positive statements and affirmations on them. It's been too wet and cold to work outside, and I felt a bit under the weather today too, so I stayed home from the Sufi healing class tonight. I wish you all well on creating abudance of love and joy in your lives! You all certainly deserve it!And where are GrannyC, Darlene, Crushedheart and some of the others? Let us know how you all are doing if you are still checking this board!Blessings,Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members armaiti Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 April, I swear this is the third time you and I have posted similar comments at the exact same time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 great minds.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members armaiti Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 By the way, who did the piece you are using for your avatar? It's really lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I have no idea! I got it off a friends blog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Error username not found Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 thenx april. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members amberi Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Everyone,Just thought I would stop in and say hi. I have been trying to move on so I havent been here in a few weeks. Its a New Year and Im ready to try and move forward. Still miss Al deeply but I need to find some kind of happiness. Not necessarily with a new person more just in my life. Trying to find more things that I enjoy doing. Alex used to control everything I did and I finally want to control my own life. I was reading some of the post and think its so funny or interesting I dont know. But the whole younger guy makes me laugh. Cuz I have been hit on several times by a 27yr old. And cant think of why the hell he would want to date me out of all people. But alot of my friends say it could be a good thing. But Im not quite ready yet. Bacafly- I love your [pic. it is so great to see you. I am hoping to change my picture once I have time. I really hope all of you are having a good new year. To the best of your abilities. Take care,Amber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 hey amber! I hope you are well! I hope you don't think you have to ignore this board either to find happiness. I guess for some it might make you sad though. I hope you have a great year! I am not ready to find a new man AT ALL but I am ready to move on with my life (which I have been doing all along) it just feels more real when you say ito out loud, yk? anyway glad to see you post! otherwise I am sick still..just a respiratory/sinus deal. ugh. haven't felt 100% since before xmas. raising 2 littles (with no help while sick) is very challenging! I don't know what I'd do if I had a regular 9-5 job! makes me appreciate single mothers so much more! I had no idea it was this hard before! :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Error username not found Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 hey amber!! havent seen u here its funny how the ppl in here are kinda like friends.. yeah i was thinking one day to just post a picture of myself all upclose so everyone could really get how i look LOL. the pics are so small you cant really make it out. anyway im goina bed.tty all later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members armaiti Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I was thinking about this board today, how a lot of us have become friends through it...I was thinking that if Ishaq was alive right now I never would have known all of you...it's weird to think about it that way, I guess. But I really like hearing from everyone, just checking in and seeing how everyone is doing, sharing how we have gotten through and are still getting through...I've been working off and on all day on more art pieces...I just finished a Durga (the Hindu goddess of protection) piece that I'm really happy with, and did a couple more Om symbols and affirmation designs. I see so many shirts with company logos and fashion logos and all, and I thought, why not put positive statements and pictures on shirts so people might feel good seeing them? It's kind of like putting positive thoughts or prayer out into the universe, just on a shirt...and yeah, if they sell and make me some money, I won't complain! I went for a nice walk today along the river. Ishaq and I used to walk there all the time; it was really hard in the early months to even make myself go down to the bike path that is a block from my house, and runs the length of the river through Eugene, on both sides. I realized today that I've come to a place of inner peace with it all, and I still love him so much and don't see that ever changing. He will always be with me, just in another form, and I'm going to try to do my best here, on earth, in a body. Anyway, I'm rambling, gonna go do my evening practices/meditation and take a bath after, and relax with a little more Six Feet Under DVD.Blessings to all, AnnaOh, here's my new Durga design, I'm really happy with the way it turned out: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 hey anna- your post remind me (totally off topic of durga the goddess~which yes I am familiar with many of the gods and goddeses) anyway, do you know who durga bernhard is? (I love her work! trying to decide on a print for my living room!) btw I am going to order those journals soon. just need to decide on less than 5..lol. love the designs! btw can I pay with paypal somehow? anyway will email ya later about it! awesome you are feeling so inspired lately! I am planning to open my etsy store on Valentines day (selling handmade items~) I need to get motivated! also need to create a banner and stuff like that! being sick isn't helping! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members airymoon Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 missque- dont stress over your new friend and i think it is perfectly normal to have doubts and second thoughts, There were plenty of times i had doubts with kurt and we were married 21 years. As far as the dating thing goes i think when we start dating again we are programmed to think is this the one because we have essentially just left another relationship. But why do we do that why cant we date just for the sake of dating and having company and if there is a spark than we can ask that question or take some time to find out. <Just my thoughts> Linda where in Michigan are you? I live in the lower southwest. I am glad i have met all of you here and it is weird to think that i wouldnt have if kurt hadn't died but that is how it is. Last week we had a snowstorm that dropped 3 feet of snow on us and today it is in the 60's and a thunderstorm outside. Michigan weather! I am going to be more positive this year avout everything in my life I ahve to push myself to get out of my funk sometimes but im going to do it bedause i owe it to myself and i deserve to have some peace and happiness. Now if i can just organize the chaos LOLbecky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 becky- it's funny so many of us here are all at the same point it seems in terms of moving on and happiness,etc.. wierd! I guess we can show any newcomers there is hope. cause I remember when I first joined this board how I felt then! we all have come a long long way, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 i really hate the format of this board! grrrr...it's so IRRITATING! why do all the old posts come up all the time and who the hell is marisa? (just being winy, don't mind me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 oh the lovely world of grief just when i think im moving forward i feel like ive been throwin against a wall. i have to start classes tomorrow and im so not looking forward to it. its been nice not going and i think this last month ive made a lot of progess without having to go to school and being able to just hang around all day. school brings back so many memories and so much stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lindat Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Becky, I am in Roseville, a little north of Detroit. Since it seems that I may be living here now, maybe we can get together one day. The weather was wonderful today, what a nice break from the snow and ice! Now we have a tornado watch until 2am...Gotta take the good with the bad I guess. Anna, I love that picture of you and Ishaq on myspace. You are both laughing alot and you have on a bright top with aqua colored bracelets. The first photo on the 2nd page of that group is awesome too. Bacafly - love the picture too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aprilmoonflower Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 miss- sorry you are going through that..it's funny how the oridinary things bring things back.. what can you do to make it better for yourself? anything at all? even something like a mindless activity or something? do you have a campus yoga class or another activity? maybe doing something different would help you look forward to school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mishknit Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 Anna..I love that Durga design...it is so beautiful. Just looking at it made me feel comfortable. I'm sure you'll do well with that!It is weird that we would never have met without such loss. I'm in a grief group and we have begun doing things outside of group. we've talked about that too. we are all so different,; probably would never have met, and yet, here we are. In some weird way, it's starting to seem very nice, you know? sort of a "blessing in disguise" (I never use that term, but it seems apropos).i like to think of all of our loves together, somewhere, wherever..looking at us and being happy that we have had the strength and fortitude and fearlessness to seek help, to move ahead, to go on with our lives to the extent that we have, and to the extent that we will continue to.anyway....here we are, and i am grateful for all of you.peace,michele Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missque Posted January 7, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm looking at jouning the Y so that I can do aquafit but its more for weight than mindless activities. ive already had to reduce my course load because i just couldnt handle it last semester so hopefully it will help a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rodless Posted January 8, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Anna, great design...you are so talented!Funny how much we've all gotten wound up in each others lives even though we've never met. I feel like I've known all of you for a long long time. Thanks for being here when I needed you! As far as being positive...I think we reach a point where there's nothing else to do. We can't go back, we don't want to stay stuck and then there's the whole thing of life happening whether we want it to or not. SO...GOOD FOR US! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missyouhoney811 Posted January 8, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 [align=left]Hi Ladies, I read the posts a couple times a day but I guess I have been too lazy to post myself. I feel the same as the rest of you. I have very close feelings towards all of you. Just thinking how it was when I first joined in January 2007 - the emotions and sadness that I had. If it wasn't for my sisters on this site I hate to think what would have become of me. Thanks and big hugs to all of you that helped me along the way of grief recovery. We have all come such a long way on this road. I know we will all be fine because we are smart, strong women. A big world is out their for all of us and I am sure each and every one can find their share of happiness..........I still have a suitecase to unpack........I love packing but not unpacking. I guess I am just tired from the trip.....we went non stop every day....it was fun but I am happy to be home.My sister called from Naples, Florida wanted to know if I was interested in spending time with her on her birthday...............2/5...........I told her I was not sure but would check the flights in the morning. Went to Zumba Class this evening. What a work out. I do enjoy it. Blessings,Dorothy[/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Error username not found Posted January 8, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 yeah..this forum has turned mostly into b.s.ing with friends most of the time rather than crying all the time. i think most of us started around the same time. lately though ive been feeling soo excited to see him and anxious.. but the part that sux is when i know hes not coming but still i feel so anxious and desprite and i feel like im waiting for someone to come over. you know what ive been doing lately?? LOL.. shopping online. its weird..but it gives me something to look forward to. i wait for the packages...right now im waiting for 5!!! im becoming an online shopaholic LOL. but it is kinda fun anyway. i dont know where i am in this whole thing. i really do LOVE him sooooooo much that i actually got goosebumps thinking about how much i love him. i always say he and my son are my everything..but now what do i do with all those feelings?? i want him soo badly sometimes i cant breathe..but i feel like he'll be back..and he'll come to me again. well now I'M babbling so im gonna go.goodnight everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members missyouhoney811 Posted January 8, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 [align=left]Bacafly, I also shop on-line. I found it to be a fun thing and also the deals are great. I also went through thinking that my John would come back home. I believe its a normal way to feel when you love so deeply. While I was on vacation I actually woke up in the middle of the night because I heard him calling me. I sat up in bed turned on the light and I was looking for him. It was so real. His voice was so sweet calling me by the special name he gave me. I will always miss him but I have to go on in this world. Live for Today---Hope for TomorrowGoodnight,Dorothy[/align] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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