Loss of My Mother

[TK421]

A few weeks ago was the passing and funeral of my mother. I seemed to be fine as days went by, with my ups and downs here and there but the last few days have been the hardest days ever. It started on my birthday (Halloween), it seemed much more difficult to wake up in the morning. I went about my usual routine but when I went out with some friends, I started having some physical stress (awkward aches and pains, shortness of breath, etc,) without any clue what was causing it. It has been the same for the last few days, but I finally had the thought to talk to someone, my dad, brother, friends, and that's when I was directed here.

I'm not usually one to show my feelings, unless it was to my mom. My mom has been there for me for everything, and she was probably one of best friends. When she got sick a few years ago, I finished high school and started taking care of her full time. Nobody could have predicted this happening but even then I don't think it could be any easier.

The only way I can describe how I feel is being left alone, lost at a mall or something like that. I never expected this to happen before my 21st birthday but unfortunately, these things do happen. Even now I lack words to describe my feelings but I guess I'm just looking for ways to control my stress and imagination from thinking something might happen to my dad, brother, or even myself. Maybe even ways to accept the events as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I know my thoughts may be a mess but taking the time to write this has helped a little.

~M

[Lor1]

I am really sorry for your loss. You are too young not to have your Mum and sometimes life just is not fair. I am a little older (in my 30s) and do feel that I would have struggled more if I had been your age.

Feeling all over the place I found to be the norm - even now and it has been over a year. I guess all you can do is not be too hard on yourself - grief unlike depression I have found to be a roller coaster with some days not as bad as others.

I think anxiety about more bad things happening is common too - understandable I guess since the rug was pulled out from under you in the loss of one of the most important people in your life - they say eventually you accept it and find a way of putting your life ahead of their death but I think getting there if it happens is difficult.

I am new here too but was comforted that others are struggling with the same pain and that I have found does help - so talk away - I found this last year to be quite lonely and wish I had talked sooner.

Know it will be hard if you are used to not showing your feelings but for me if I don't I've found they just come out in other ways. It is so hard and you need support and rest at this profoundly sad and difficult time.

[Romero93]

This Saturday I attended a funeral of a close friend of mine that I've known since I was a kid, and that was a very difficult memorial to go to. I can only imagine what you must be dealing with. I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your mother and I hope that you're able to cope with the loss. Over time it'll only get easier, pretty soon all you'll be able to remember are the great memories I'm sure the two of you shared together

I recently found this website that has put up a lot of useful resources for dealing with grief. It sounds to me like it might help you out too

http://www.bobbittch...ef-and-healing/

[TK421]

Thank you all for your kind words.

The anxiety has been rough but since I took the leap to finally talk about it, it's starting to be more tolerable. Thinking back, before she passed I started to write music but when the day came I stopped everything I did that would normally vent these things, my journal, writing music, all those things. It's been hard to gather the strength to go back to those things but I think I'm going to keep trying.

Once again, thank you for the kind words. I will keep them in my mind as time passes.

~M

[lemc87]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I too lost mine recently (I'm 26) and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to endure. I don't know when it gets easier, but some days are definitely better than others. When you're ready, I found sharing funny stories about my mom to help quite a bit. Reliving memories really takes away from tragedy.

It is truly a rollercoaster of emotions. One day, I'll be laughing and talking about my mom... others, I'll be a complete mess and not want to talk to anyone. Take it one day at a time. No one can fault you for being upset or angry. Let it out, even if you do so online.