Anniversary

[Teesh]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this group but I'm hoping having people talk to who understand will help me figure all of this out.

Well, I guess I'll start by telling you a little about me. I got married when I was 21 to my best friend. We found out 2 years later (a month after our sons first birthday) that he had a terminal illness. At the time his doctor gave him maybe 5 years to live. Well, we did everything the doctors said and he did everything he could to stay healthy. I know he was tired but he kept fighting and never gave up. Our daughter was born last January, not long after our 12 year anniversary. I could tell last summer that Jason wasn't doing well but he always said he was fine.

December 3rd he was fine. All day he was fine. Then that night at 10:00 he started to cough. Nothing big just a little cough. One thing led to another and by midnight he was in the ER with a 30% oxygen level. I lost my best friend on December 7th, 2012. Less than a week before our sons 11th birthday.

I thought those first months would be the hardest. With our sons birthday, then Christmas, then 2 weeks later our baby girl turned 1. But this weekend would have been our 13 year wedding anniversary and I feel like I've lost him all over again.

I don't know how to do this. If it was just me I would crawl in a hole and pretend Sunday didn't exist. But I know I have to be strong for my kids. So what do I do? How do I make it through this week without falling apart?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[MissingDaniel]

I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Sounds like your family had a lot to deal with for a long time, and your husband fought hard. My thoughts are with you.

I have not been through an anniversary yet - that's still coming, but I've faced Fathers Day and his birthday. For both of those occasions, I took the kids somewhere special that I knew he would have loved, and we tried to enjoy our day and celebrate him. I can assure you I shed plenty of tears, but being off with the children kept me from crawling into bed and crying. We went to the beach for his birthday, and that morning we sat by the ocean and talked about him and things we remembered and tried to smile. And wrote on balloons and released them later that day. It helped me, but they were still hard days. I hope you get some ideas from the suggestions you will get here tha will make the day a little more bearable. Blessings to you!

[needy]

Hello Teesh so sorry you are going through this. September was a bad month for me. It was my husband's birthday, two days later the 6 month mark of his passing, and then four days later our anniversary. During this time I also had a breast biopsy, having home renovations and being overwhelmed at work. I really felt that I was close to being admitted into the funny farm. I realized that I was under way too much stress. I took some me time. I spent a lot of time in my room, reading or watching Netflix. I went for walks. Had baths, mediated and grieved.

I did this for 2 weeks and it did help. So guess my advise is, be kind to yourself.