Members tnwulf0513 Posted September 28, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2013 My name is Dave. I am hoping that finding this forum will be helpful .. Just realized a few minutes ago that I am starting this post exactly one month from the date my love left me. Down to the hour it happened. There will probably be those of you who will not believe that something like this could happen to someone. I want to write a book about our relationship, but I will keep it brief. We met in 1998, married in 2000. We were in inseparable, joined at the hip so to speak. Even worked at the same store for 7 years until her back condition forced her to quit and go on disability. The only time we spent apart was 2 days when I had to go to Wyoming for my fathers funeral. It was the second marriage for both of us and we were incredibly happy together. Now for what happened:JULY 27th: I came home from work and found Shari semi-conscious took her to the ER. Diagnosed with pneumonia. Her health had been declining somewhat over the last 2 years. I had taken early retirement in order to be able to take care of her and spend more time with her.AUG 1st: Discharged from hospital. She seemed to be much better.AUG 11th: Lightning strikes our apt building and it burns. We lose everything. Fortunately my sweetie and convinced me about a year earlier that we needed renters insurance. So there will be some money to start over. Our insurance co finds a hotel for us to stay in while we look for a new place to live. Shari had been bugging me for a couple of years because she wanted to live in a "duplex" AUG 21st: Shari had developed a severe dry cough so I took her back to the ER. Doctor looked her over, gave her some more antibiotics and cough syrup. The cough subsided somewhat and again she seemed to be getting better.AUG 25th: We found a really cute duplex.AUG 26th: Went shopping for furniture and appliances. Shari was delighted, could pick out anything she wanted. We talked a lot that day about colors and what kind of things we were going to get for new apt. Went over with her daughter and cleaned and prepared to move in.AUG 27th: More cleaning, planning and waiting for furniture delivery. However, Shari wasn't feeling well and asked me to take her back to the hotel before the furniture arrived. Furniture delivery about 8pm.AUG 28th 6:45am: Washer/dryer was to be delivered between 7am and 11am. Kissed her goodbye .. she was complaining that her chest was starting to hurt again but told me to go and wait on the delivery. 8:45am finished setting up the furniture, took pictures, sent them to her phone. 9:10am called her to find out if she had seen her new furniture yet. When she answered the phone I knew she was in bad trouble, gasping for breath, a gurgling sound when she spoke, I told her I was on the way home and that I was going to call 911. I told her I loved her, she replied "I love you too, please hurry" .. started back to the hotel and called 911 and gave them info. Called her back with no answer. When I got back to the hotel at about 9:30am the paramedics were in the room doing cpr. Wouldn't let me in. Even though her body was kept functioning until 6:45pm she never regained consciousness. After the 3rd cardiac arrest the doctor came out and explained that she had a total of about an hour and a half of cpr during the first 3 arrests and that chances of survival were pretty much non existent and wanted to know if I wanted to sign a DNR. The hardest decision I have ever made in my life. I knew she was gone and had been since that morning but it was still heart wrenching to have to give up on her. About 20 mins later he came out and advised us that she had passed. For those with medical knowledge cause of death was Septic shock, due to Necrotizing pneumonia.This is so hard, especially today. I now truly believe that it is possible to die from a broken heart. I have heard of it happening but was somewhat skeptical until now. No worries, I am not going to do anything to hurt myself. Its just a concept I truly believe is possible.The overwhelming waves of loss, loneliness, guilt .. even some fear is tangible causing real pain. Its almost as bad today as it was last month.. which seems like yesterday and 100 years ago all at the same time. I have moments where I seem to be completely disconnected from reality. There is such a huge hole in my life and heart right now. I really can't go on ATM, can't see the screen for the tears. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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