Members Austykatie Posted September 16, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 Well today is the 7month mark of Jim's accident. It seems so weird that 7 months ago today at about this exact time I heard his voice for the last time. Life changes so quickly it is unreal. I have decided that today I do nothing! I slept in his favorite hoodie last night and have been just relaxing all day. My oldest son keeps asking me lately how I am able to go on with life and able to function? I know that somedays its harder than others, however I have come so far. I told him I do this for them! I put a smile on my face and hold it together everyday for everyone, its when I go to bed or am alone that I tend to break down. Why is it that some people think you should just get over it? I had someone tell me that yesterday and I was just amazed! Have this happen to you and let me tell you its time to get over it! I am not sure I will ever "get over it". Our life is forever changed. I admit it has gotten easier but its still there.... I think I have decided that I need to go to an area where he was found. I have never gone up there as you cannot get to the actual site of where he drowned but I need to go to the area where they found his remains. I need to find some closure that I haven't had since we only had a memorial service for him a week after his accident. I need to go cry It out and say good-bye. I am holding on to way to much anger, hurt and sadness. Maybe that will help me before the winter months come and its to late....... Thanks for listening to my blabber, I am sure it only half makes sense because days like today my brain is scattered and I just can't think clearly. http://youtu.be/EcO20rvukcM Here is a song that is helping me get through this rough day.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tricia_TD Posted September 16, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 I've found that a sudden death is much harder to deal with than one where a loved one has been ill beforehand, not that that is easy by any means. I can't believe that someone told you to just get over it. That's just so insensitive and unrealistic.I can go for a while carrying on with life without crying, and then for a few days the tears come again. I think it's nice that you can snuggle into Jim's favourite hoodie. I wear my Mum's wedding ring on a chain around my neck (it's too small for my fingers), and when I waken up during the night, I hold onto it and it bring me closer to both my parents.Sending you gentle, understanding, hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catz Posted September 16, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2013 It makes sense. The anger is hardest to deal with i found. For a long while i was angry at everyone and everything, but i eventually managed to work it out if my system using words. Itll be something different for you, and yeah, maybe seeing the place he was found will help you. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do ive found......sometimes it makes sense and sometimes it doesnt seem to but if you need it then you need it. As for that "get over it" comment, i DO hope you told whoever told you that where to get off. I wish people would THINK occasionally before opening trap, but unfortunately its often parroted by people who genuinely THINK they mean well. (((hugs))) Take it easy on yourself ok? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 17, 2013 Moderators Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 It makes total sense and as for why people say "get over it already," they're ignorant if not outright flaming stupid. Hang in there.....the closure visit sounds like a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingDaniel Posted September 17, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2013 Sending good thoughts your way, AK. I understand the feeling of holding it together for your kids, and breaking down and crying when you're all alone. That's become the pattern for me as well. I have felt for several months that people expected me to be over it, though I don't think I've had anyone come out and tell me to "get over it." I'm a pretty restrained person, but I think that might make me snap. I hope your visit to where they found Jim will help you in some way to find closure. It's something that I've felt was missing for me as well, partly because I still don't really know the chain of events that led to Daniel's death. There are still questions about who did what, and no one person really knows all the answers. But I've tried to let it go knowing that it won't bring him back, and I know it's better for my sanity to not dwell. But it's easier said than done some days. I truly hope you find some peace..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members needy Posted September 18, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 18, 2013 Hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The drummer's wife Posted September 23, 2013 Members Report Share Posted September 23, 2013 Sincere wishes of peace and comfort on this, your day, of remembering your loved one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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