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Loss of Nana


robinann202

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robinann202

 I lost my grandmother last may, it will be a year the 21st of this month.  She was 90 years old and lived a very long, and awesome life.  She was always my favorite, we were close from day one.  I could never do any wrong--even if I did--I didnt...  She always had excuses for me.  Today I went and planted mother's day flowers for my mom and nana.  My mom has been gone 9 years the begining of this month.  I have had many loses in the last 9 years, too many.  I am remebering the last weeks of her life and how I had to tell her it was okay to go.  She didnt want to go--leave me.  She told me--"She wants to take me with her".  It broke my heart.  I fed her, took care of her, and just waited for the day to come.  I was very tired emotionally and physically.  I went through losing my mom young-she was 58.  It brought back many memories.  I can say that my Nana was ready to go and she was suffering, and I couldnt deal with anymore.  I miss her everyday, along with everyone else. Losing people you love and care about is the hardest thing in life, coping, going on. My nana loved everyone, she was so funny, I never can forget anything.  She would get in trouble for some of things she did.  She was very stubborn at times and knew everything.  I miss being there,taking care of her everyday-visiting.  My life has changed tremedously. I hope my parents and grandparents and family-and our friends are all together.  My nana missed my mom, her daughter for 8 years-and husband,I pray they are reunited.  I feel they all are, sometimes it is just hard to deal with.  Around this time and holiday time-it gets worse for me--but I have come a long way. I had to change and learn to accept-just like all of us. I pray everyday for them to be together....robin

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Sending many hugs...the first year is always difficult.  I lost my maternal grandmother around 10 years ago and my paternal grandmother around 12 years ago, the type of love you get from a grandma is so different from every other type of love...it's almost like an accomplice you have.  I am sure they are all together watching over you.

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