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I can't go on without him!


Savage

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I lost my partner, my best friend my husband to cancer July 8/13 just one month ago and I find that I can't live without him. I can't breath and my heart feels heavy with sorrow. If it were not for my kids and grand babies I think I would have ended my life already. I walk around lost I feel like I don't belong anywhere. He and I were inseparable since the day we met. I miss him so much I feel like no one understands the unberable pain I feel.

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I am so sorry for your loss, and you are among people who do understand. Losing your lifetime partner is at times almost unbearable. Please talk with us as often as you need to, and express the things that you are feeling. We understand, and we share that burden. Try to hang in there for the other people who love and depend on you. I know it isn't easy, and sometimes it seems futile, but with time, you will be a little more able to tolerate this, and eventually, the wonderful sweet memories will help dull the pain. Blessings to you.

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Dear Newbie, I lost my husband, friend and lover on June 2nd, to cancer. My family lives far away. I do have some good friends although half of them also live in other States. I feel numb most the time and that is a good thing because it cuts down on pain. I am so sorry for your loss and can relate to you in that my love and I were also so very close. Are you a spiritual person? I believe that I can feel his presence. On one occasion he reached out to hold my hand. I don't know if that will happen again. Sometimes I read books relating to bereavement to feel less alone though focusing on anything can be a problem. I have trouble breathing, too, a lot of shortness of breath. (The doctor said I am fine physically). My sister tells me that, over time, the pain will lessen. We are fortunate in that we have children and grandchildren... Hugs to you

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I totally understand your pain. I feel the exact same way. I don't feel like I belong anywhere either, completely and totally lost without my Jerry. I just cant believe he is gone. He left this house for the hospital on Sept 1 2012 and died Jan 4, 2013. It is coming up on a year since his presence has been in this house and I miss him so much I don't even want to go on.

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You are not alone in your grief. I am so sorry for your loss. While I have not lost my husband...I have lost my young son and my husband is in the end stages of colon cancer. I can feel your heartache and aloneness. I am filled with fear on a daily basis as I watch his slow decline. I do not have family for support. We are a keep a stiff upper lip and all that stuff family. I have found terrible disappointment in long time neighbours and friends that have drawn away. They are unable to meet eye contact due to their feeling uncomfortable as to our losses. Please know that you are not alone on this journey. The pain can seem unbearable but in time it will soften around the edges .I too have been married a very long time and am devoted to my husband. I embrace each and every day given with him at this point. Sending you warm wishes and wishing you peace in this struggle. Love, Kate

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I lost my best friend and husband early June 2013 to prostate cancer. He fought his battle very quietly, gracefully and courageously and what I tell myself many times a day is that if he could face death bravely, then I will try to bravely face life without him. But it's a very lonely life in spite of family, and I miss him more and more each day. When we both knew his cancer was terminal I never even thought how life would be without him; that was unimaginable. And now I am without him, it still is so surreal...even though my heart is broken and life will never be the same.

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Most people can not understand your pain unless they have been through something similar, and even then everybody's pain, grief, and healing is different. I look back and know I had no clue, it's so much worse than I could ever imagine, and I accept that others in my life can't really know. Believing that they can't without going through it, I'm very glad they can't understand my pain because I would not wish this on anybody.

No magic words, keep putting one foot in front of the other, seriously consider bereavement counseling, keep reading and posting here, and most of all take care of yourself. That means eating right, as much as you can, trying to get enough rest, and exercise can help too. One thing that helped me is to realize that I should not feel sad about the memories, since I didn't really lose those, and I try to smile at photos of the happy times in years past.

Little baby steps.

Bill

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You are not alone in your grief. I am so sorry for your loss. While I have not lost my husband...I have lost my young son and my husband is in the end stages of colon cancer. I can feel your heartache and aloneness. I am filled with fear on a daily basis as I watch his slow decline. I do not have family for support. We are a keep a stiff upper lip and all that stuff family. I have found terrible disappointment in long time neighbours and friends that have drawn away. They are unable to meet eye contact due to their feeling uncomfortable as to our losses. Please know that you are not alone on this journey. The pain can seem unbearable but in time it will soften around the edges .I too have been married a very long time and am devoted to my husband. I embrace each and every day given with him at this point. Sending you warm wishes and wishing you peace in this struggle. Love, Kate

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. My husband was diagnosed with cancer Sept 23rd, he fought a long and hard battle for 9 months up until July 8th when it finally defeated him. I was his care giver I took him to chemo, radiation everywhere and anywhere we needed to go. I was with him every moment of every day. His biggest fear was leaving me behind to be without him I told him to wait for me on the other side and we told each other many times a day how much we loved each other. He passed away at home in my arms and I still feel like I didnt say everything I needed to say to him. I miss him so much the pain is more than I can bear. Is it possible to die of a broken heart? because if it is I'm afraid thats where my heart is headed. Tell your husband anything and everything that you want him to know and most of all make sure and say your goodbye's to him even if he's still here because you will regret not doing it if you dont get the chance to when he passes. My prayers are with you and if you need to talk Im here. Thank uou so much for your reply.

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I was in your shoes ----- I know the pain is more then you can bare now. I pray you will be able to walk past the pain and know someday the peace I have found. the grief will never go away yet it gets easier to deal with as time goes on. Give it time and when you can join us on the chat room. Read the forums and go back to past ones we all have had the pain of a loss you will not be alone in your walk. I send you love and a hug.

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Thank you all so much for the support and for sharing your own experience and for sharing your own losses. I just wish I could run and scream and I can't I just hold everything in and try to be strong for everybody else

, but it hurts soo much! This pain is unbearable!

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Please, please, please for your health, don't hold it in. Find a safe place to vent, scream, cry, throw stuff, break things. Don't break your stuff, buy yard sale stuff and destroy it. If you hold in those emotions your body will let it out some other way and not pleasantly. Pent up emotion can manifest itself in various ways, mostly in declining health. Please take care of yourself.

With high regard,

Ern

May peace find us all.

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Please, please, please for your health, don't hold it in. Find a safe place to vent, scream, cry, throw stuff, break things. Don't break your stuff, buy yard sale stuff and destroy it. If you hold in those emotions your body will let it out some other way and not pleasantly. Pent up emotion can manifest itself in various ways, mostly in declining health. Please take care of yourself.

With high regard,

Ern

May peace find us all.

My wife used to take a bowl of ice cubes out into the back yard and throw them at the fence when she was frustrated and upset. Seemed like it helped her.
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