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Long Term Grief


TinaL

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Hi. I'm new here, but I would like some advice on how to deal with grief that doesn't go away. I lost my mom in April 2011 and I still feel lost. I was spoiled, I was sheltered, and she did way more for me than I ever knew. Now I have terrible mood swings, constant anxiety, a tendency toward depression. I always used to be so stable. Has anyone gone through what I guess they call complicated grief? Everyone I know that's lost someone seems to be fine after a month or two or at worst a year, and I'm over two years and still a mess.

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Hi. I'm new here, but I would like some advice on how to deal with grief that doesn't go away. I lost my mom in April 2011 and I still feel lost. I was spoiled, I was sheltered, and she did way more for me than I ever knew. Now I have terrible mood swings, constant anxiety, a tendency toward depression. I always used to be so stable. Has anyone gone through what I guess they call complicated grief? Everyone I know that's lost someone seems to be fine after a month or two or at worst a year, and I'm over two years and still a mess.

First with all due respect to others you know, I very very seriously doubt they were "fine" after a month or two - more like they were good at putting on a front.

Second, that said, pls understand there is no set timeline and it's different for everyone, so it's pointless to compare yourself to others regardless, There is no "the way" to go about this or some standard timeframe. It's not unheard of for it to take years to truly regroup (PS I'm on a similar timeline as you and still have problems with this, so I know what I'm talking about there at least).

Now THAT all said, if you feel you're really making no progress or even regressing, have you tried or considered grief counseling? If not, pls do. And if you try one and it doesn't seem to be helping, try another. I went through a few before finding a good one.

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Tina, I am sorry to here about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother many years ago (17 years ago) and it feels like yesterday. Everyone grieves differently and it may depend on the relationship as well. I believe that the reason I grieved for such a long time is because I didn't have anyone in which to release my sorrow and pain. I had my brother's but we never really talked about our pain with each other until recently. Through my faith in God, I was able to get through the pain and I am better today and can aid others now. The best advice that I can give is to talk to someone you love and trust about the pain of loosing your mother, maybe someone who also had a bond or attachment to her and can understand your pain. Also, know that it is okay to grieve but think of the good times that you had with your mother and mourn her positively as she may want you to live your best life and to not be sad or depressed about her death, I know that my mom wanted me to live. I will keep you in my prayers.

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