Too early, too soon

[HardToMissYou]

Hi everyone,

I found this forum tonight, feeling lonely and so very sad. It's been 5 months since my beloved (and loving) husband died unexpectedly at age 42. We have two little ones under 4. I always thought it would be so hard to lose someone after 20 or 30 years together, so much lived together, so many memories. Strangely enough I'm finding really hard to miss all those things I didn't get to do with my husband. Raising our kids together, watching them grow, all those trips we were going to do as a family, the everyday, more summers, more winters, more walks with the dog. We had some great 10 years together, what a blessing would have been 20 more of those!

I write to him often, I started doing it every night and now I do it every time I feel I have a knot in my heart and throat. It helps so much to 'chat' with him. With the distractions of the day-to-day, work responsibilities and KIDS, I find it hard sometimes to make that time to reconnect with him, which makes me miss him even more! Writing to him does it instantly. I become the person I used to be, his wife, who is talking to her best friend. For some minutes something feels restored in me. I cry and cry and then I feel better. I even put a photo of him on the screen, looking at me, and listen to our music while I write. A counselor told me this is very therapeutic and I find it works.

Thank you for sharing your stories. Reading you makes me feel less lonely.

[widower2]

Very sorry for your loss but glad you have found things that help. We're here to listen any time........

[Caremal]

I am so sorry for your loss it must be very difficult for you. I also have a picture of my husband on my screen both ~ cell and the PC. I also find writing a letter is a great things I tell him things and seams to be different then talking to him yet I do that as well. 5 months is a short time in the grief process. Try to stop in on the chat room at nights - several of us hang there. The pain of our grief goes up and down – some days are good some are not. Parts of some are good and parts of some are not. I find that chatting with others helps me to know I am not alone. I am also saying it will be different to deal with as time goes on. Put one foot in front of the other and so what is required of you to do. Sending you a hug..

[LizzyW]

I am so sorry for your loss, and the further I get into the process, the more I feel bad for you and all our other grievers of spouses and partners. This is likely one of the most difficult times we will ever face, and I pray that you, and all of us, have the strength to carry on. Bless you, and thanks for sharing.

[catz]

Im so sorry for your loss. Its coming up 3 months for me, and i still miss my fiance desperately, and cry every day. It hurts, doesnt it, and just as you say, i too found it reassuring to read of others going thru the same whirlwind of emotions that i was. Hopefully we can all help eachother thru this. Take care.

[HardToMissYou]

Thank you all for welcoming me. Everything I've read so far in this forum has been reassuring and helpful. My thoughts are with you and your own grief journeys.