Members cmissingj Posted April 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2008 My husband died last month after suffering for many, many years from a brain tumor. I cannot get a grip on where I am, or how I feel. He was very sick for the last 3 1/2 years. We cared for him at home,--He was in a hospital-type set up in our guest room with nurses caring for him 16 hours a day (and me doing the rest). For all this time, I struggled to adjust to sleeping without him, caring for our daughter without him, and all those little day to day things. Don't get me wrong, he was still a part of my life. Even though he was mostly bed-bound and unable to speak, we had great communication and as close a relationship as two people can have. But, essentailly, I have been living the life of a lonely, single parent for all these years. Now that he is gone, I just can't get a handle on things. I have mourned so much, and changed my life so much in these last few years. Now what? I feel a horrible aching void. We have been married for almost 19 years and we met when I was 17. Now I am a 40 year old widow. In some ways, it feels like life is just going on. In other ways, I feel like my feet are off the ground and I can't get back down. So much time already has been spent being the one to hold it together and just cope with things. I just feel like I don't know how to live a real life. There must be others who have been here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members doug42 Posted April 30, 2008 Members Report Share Posted April 30, 2008 hi, i am sorry for your pain...im glad that you are here...i have found this site to be very helpful..keep writing and talking, it really helps..things will start to make sence again...read as much as you can and mabey find a group near you..i still go 4 years later..you will make it, hang in there..i will be thinking of you....doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rodless Posted May 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 cmissingj,I am so sorry for your loss and I can certainly identify with what you are saying. My husband was also sick for a long time - non hodgkins with chemo complications.It is hard to adjust after being so involved with someone's care for so long. It takes awhile to know how to handle your life because they were always the priority that everything revolved around. After almost 2 years, my heart still jumps when the cell phone rings while I'm at work because that was how Rod got ahold of me if he needed something. The cell phone was almost like a body part. It took time to realize that I did not need to go home for lunch or right home afterwards. I still don't sleep well...always have that ear listening for any sounds. Lots of adjustments.Time, time, time.... we all get sick of hearing that time helps ease the pain. I'm sure that's really hard for you to believe right now but it's true. Mary Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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