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I can't believe my dad passed away


Daddy's Girl

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Daddy's Girl

It's been a week since the phone rang with the worst news ever: my father had passed away. He lost the terrible battle with cancer in less than a year.

Unfortunately, it all happened very quickly. We found out last year in August that he has lung cancer and it's in the last stage. There wasn't much to be done, but the sad part is that being in a country which doesn't value life, he did not receive any treatment to at least make his life comfortable. He was admitted to a local hospital less than two weeks prior to his death. As he got worse, I tried to somehow come to terms that the inevitable would soon happen.

When my mother called me on Father's Day and told me he was no longer with us, I simply crashed. I screamed in rage: "Why? Why him? Not him!" and thought that if I would have the opportunity, I would gladly take his place. I could not even attent to the funeral, as I moved to another country. I am devastated, beyond depressed, and I can't help but feel empty and mad at the entire world. It was not fair. He was everything to me, my hero, my best friend, my dad, everything. I would always go to him for advice, but now? All I'm left to do is mourn. And apparently, not even that. We live in a society that does not mourn and wants to cover everything up with the words: "You will get over it! What do you solve by crying? We all die sooner or later!" I can no longer stand people and their superficiality. I do not know what to do anymore. It has only been a week and no one has the respect to at least just let me be.

My mother has not only moved on just fine, but is now blaming be for my father's death. How could I have been responsible? Apparently, by being a lesbian. I wish I could run and hide somewhere, but I can't... I'm broken and there is nothing to heal me... Life will never be the same without my father.

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It's been a week since the phone rang with the worst news ever: my father had passed away. He lost the terrible battle with cancer in less than a year.

Unfortunately, it all happened very quickly. We found out last year in August that he has lung cancer and it's in the last stage. There wasn't much to be done, but the sad part is that being in a country which doesn't value life, he did not receive any treatment to at least make his life comfortable. He was admitted to a local hospital less than two weeks prior to his death. As he got worse, I tried to somehow come to terms that the inevitable would soon happen.

When my mother called me on Father's Day and told me he was no longer with us, I simply crashed. I screamed in rage: "Why? Why him? Not him!" and thought that if I would have the opportunity, I would gladly take his place. I could not even attent to the funeral, as I moved to another country. I am devastated, beyond depressed, and I can't help but feel empty and mad at the entire world. It was not fair. He was everything to me, my hero, my best friend, my dad, everything. I would always go to him for advice, but now? All I'm left to do is mourn. And apparently, not even that. We live in a society that does not mourn and wants to cover everything up with the words: "You will get over it! What do you solve by crying? We all die sooner or later!" I can no longer stand people and their superficiality. I do not know what to do anymore. It has only been a week and no one has the respect to at least just let me be.

My mother has not only moved on just fine, but is now blaming be for my father's death. How could I have been responsible? Apparently, by being a lesbian. I wish I could run and hide somewhere, but I can't... I'm broken and there is nothing to heal me... Life will never be the same without my father.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My father too was my best friend and hero .. the only person i could really go to when i needed to talk, he always made me feel better. My dad has been gone for 4 months now, your heart will always hurt; some days better than others. Your dad will always be cheering you on in life, remember that. If you need someone to talk to , im here!

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Sorry to hear of your loss. Don't let anyone kid you, your sexual preference had nothing to do with your fathers death..Your family believes that this is the reason your father died? I think most adult people know better, and it sounds like they are looking for someone to blame. You need to take care of you right now as grieving is a very difficult thing to do. You do have to remember that we do not belong to each other. We are given the priviledge of spending time with others. We truely belong to God. He called your father home. Who knows maybe it was to stop the suffering, we can't figure it out now, but someday we will know why. The most important thing for you to remember is that his death had nothing to do with you. Hang on ot the good memories you have, they will help you a lot. You need to take time and grieve. It is a terrible loss.

Hope this helps a little,

God Bless,

Al

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Daddy's Girl

Sorry to hear of your loss. Don't let anyone kid you, your sexual preference had nothing to do with your fathers death..Your family believes that this is the reason your father died? I think most adult people know better, and it sounds like they are looking for someone to blame. You need to take care of you right now as grieving is a very difficult thing to do. You do have to remember that we do not belong to each other. We are given the priviledge of spending time with others. We truely belong to God. He called your father home. Who knows maybe it was to stop the suffering, we can't figure it out now, but someday we will know why. The most important thing for you to remember is that his death had nothing to do with you. Hang on ot the good memories you have, they will help you a lot. You need to take time and grieve. It is a terrible loss.

Hope this helps a little,

God Bless,

Al

Gambitjr,

What you said is true, somehow. But it still hurts so much that I didn't get to spend more time with him, we didn't do so many things. And while I have many memories with him, I can't seem to appreciate them at their true value, for now. I remember him in everything I do, I wonder how would he have done this, what would he have said, how would have he reacted. I find myself to be very close to him, I always always 'daddy's angel'.

I don't know where he is, I don't know if he's better, I don't associate with any religion, but he did, mildly. If he didn't define as god, he often tried to explain there is a supreme being governing us. Oh, how I miss those arguments with him! Even though he didn't like what he was hearing, he still listened. At the end of a long conversation, we'd still say "I love you" and end it in a peaceful manner, like two adults. I respected his opinion, he eventually learned to respect mine.

As far as his part of the family goes, his brother and nephews - yes, they are most certainly blaming me along with my mother. I first heard it from her. I let it go, thinking there may be deeper problems with her. Or maybe she's afraid knowing we're left and she also has cancer, stage 4. Sometimes I wish I could take the time to understand her and I know I'm wrong by not putting in the effort, but I simply can't right now. It's all so hard, so sudden, so soon...

Best wishes,

Ana

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I am so sorry to read about the loss of your father. I too lost my dad pretty recently, November 13, 2013. I couldn't believe it either. don't blame yourself and dont let anyone bother you about it, you had nothing to do with it, because your sexuality had nothing to do with it. you couldn't help he was sick it was not your fault. as my family has always told me God wrote our book while we were being made, some chapters are hard and sad and others are happy and exciting but when He calls your name its your time sometimes unexpected and sometimes with some warning. you just never know.

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