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Renovations and the new widow


needy

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I know this isn’t a grieving question, more how to act when you are a widow. I am trying to get quotes for renovations (new floors, kitchen counter (maybe new cupboards) and finishing off a room in the basement) and I am finding it harder than expected. Two weeks ago I went to local box hardware store and patiently waited for service for 2 hours then found out I had to pay for a quote for the flooring, of course I paid for it. After two hours I didn’t feel like waiting around for another 2 hours in the kitchen department.

Then I thought about it what I really need is a handy person since I have so much work to be done. Called the guy my husband use to use and he was very nice on the phone guess he came to my husband’s visitation. He said he would call me back, he hasn’t.

Called this other guy he was great on the phone, said he would call but hasn’t. He had me go out to his supplies and pick out the flooring, counters etc. I did my part buddy why haven't you called me back?

Last night the box hardware store guy came out. He just does floors and has his own business and basically warned me not to use the big box store hardware store because they will nickel and dime me but he has his own business and he gave me his card. He said we just couldn’t buy the supplies from the large store but there are so many other places that sell flooring. The reason why he did this is because he saw my husband’s prayer card on the table. Guy seemed genuine but I am sucker for a good sales pitch.

Called this other place and they are coming out tomorrow night to give a quote but warned me they couldn’t start till November. November??? This guy says he knows me from somewhere and I believe him because he knew where my kids go to school and knew where I live. I am not sure if he knows about my husband.

I have no idea what renovations cost, I do know to get quotes and compare apples to apples. It might be really hard to find a handyperson to do all the work; I might have to separate the work. What I don’t know is do I keep my mother shut about being a widow if they don’t know already?

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I'm so sorry, but I don't think I really understand what you are asking. Are you saying that you feel uncomfortable if potential hired workers know that you are a widow?

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Sorry for my long rant. Guess what I am scared off is being taken advantage off. Which I guess really has nothing at all being a widow. Thanks Lizzy you made me answer my own question. So sick of being confused all the time. :blink:

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No problem needy- I kind of figured that was what you were saying- just wanted to make sure. Yeah, there are no doubt some workers who will take advantage of a woman who is alone and/or grieving. Do you have any male friends who can help make sure that doesn't happen?

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Sammijo2424

Needy, I can totally relate. I am having much work done on backyard. First bid I got on fence was over $4,000 more than second bid, he knew I was a new widow and was definitely trying to take advantage. The guy who is suppose to do work will start on yard next week, it has been 2 months since I said ok, do it. It was suppose to take 2 weeks for him to start. The guy who was suppose to paint outside of house, well, haven't seen him yet, and my husband hired him before his death 4 1/2 months ago, thankfully I have not paid him anything. I called a guy who was very good friends with husband about redoing my bathroom, he has just not ever called back.

I live in a small town and everyone knew my husband, so a lot of people know I am a widow (I still hate that word WIDOW by the way). I don't mention being a widow unless someone says something to me first. Personally, I just think it is way too easy for people to take advantage of us who are grieving, confused and have raw emotions, I also say, i will have my step-son or son in law look at this quote, and i discuss with one of them. Also, think it is just more difficult for men to deal with a hurting, grieving woman so sometimes they just decide to ignore us. It is just so frustrating that my husband could call someone to do work and boom, they were here. My husband and I were in the middle of updating our home when he died and still lots to do. A friend advised that I wait until fall or winter to have some of the work as builders are scrambling for work then, so on a lot of things I have decided to wait, but the yard guy starts on Monday and I can't wait to sit out there and enjoy it.

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I have no idea who came up with the word "widow" it does have a terrible ring to it.

I have one friend that is making her own house. She said to run quotes by her before I start anything.

Tried to arrange to get more people to come out and give me quotes. I understand they are busy but don't say you are going to call and don't.

tonight one contractor is coming out, he already warned me he is booked to November. But at least the quote will be a starting point. Not sure what I will do if all these quotes (if I ever get any) come back with such a variance like the fence. Guess low guy is going to get the job.

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Sammijo2424

On a similar note...today I was looking at cars at 2 dealerships in my small town, was looking at new mid-size luxury SUVs. At one dealership, I got out looked at car for Awhile, drove around looking at other cars, then went back to first car, got out looked for awhile and not one person came to help me at either dealership. Frustrating since when hubby and I went to look at cars they were running out there to help him. Guess I didn't look like I could afford it or something, guess it will be their loss.

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That is what I got at the hardware department store, couples or men got service before me. Then I get "you do know that all cost money?" No kidding Sherlock!! Came home open my gate, and it fell off. :o

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